Thursday, April 4, 2013

25 is the new 60

First, a quick favor. Last summer I posted about a family I know, the father of which was diagnosed with terminal cancer last year. Dean is a three-time Ironman and a really great guy. He is trying to get into the Kona Ironman world championship race this year, a dream of his. Typically the way one gets into Kona is by completing an Ironman with a very competitive time. But Kona also reserves some spots each year for people with inspirational stories. Dean submitted a short video here and if you would hop on there for two seconds and vote for him, I promise to do a five minute interpretive dance for you the moment you're done.

K, I'll wait for you here by myself while you all go do that.

Da la da da la . . . 'cause I'm a genie in a bottle . . . the right way . . . don't go chasin' waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the--

Oh! You're back! Thanks for doing that. I wasn't singing. That was probably the radio that you heard.

Ok, and now for my five minute interpretive dance:


Whew. That was hard work. What did you think about the part where I mimicked a tree that caught on fire during a snow storm? I knew it was a risky decision but I sort of just went for it last minute.

And now,

A Conversation About How Daniel is Actually an Aging Woman

Eli: Here. This package came for you toda---ARE YOU READING ANOTHER AGATHA CHRISTIE BOOK?!

Daniel: No. Mary Higgins Clark.

Eli: Wha . . . why?

Daniel: Oh my gosh it's so good. So there's this guy and everyone in town thinks he might be--

Eli: No. Stop. I don't want to get pulled into this. I'm just wondering why you decided to read it. Don't you think it's an . . . unusual choice?

Daniel: I saw it at the store and it looked really good.

Eli: Daniel. The back cover is just a giant picture of a woman in her 60s.

Daniel: That's Mary Higgens Clark.

Eli: But . . . what if people see you?


Eli: Are you telling me that sometimes you are a "manly man?"

Daniel: I do manly things! And what do you care anyway? You claim to be a feminist. You should be APPLAUDING my book choice.

Eli: My feminist views only go as far as supporting women and girls who choose to break out of the stereotypes and promoting equal treatment for them. It doesn't make me supportive of my man friends choosing to act like old ladies.

Daniel: Well look. If I start doing other things that seem questionable, you can judge me. For now, just let me have this book in peace. EVERYBODY GETS ONE THING THAT ONLY OLD LADIES TYPICALLY DO.

Eli: Fine. Anyway. Here's your package. It's from Amazon.

Daniel: Thank you.

Eli: Wait. Aren't you going to open it?

Daniel: Later.

Eli: Why wouldn't you open it right now? Aren't you excited?

Daniel: I don't want to open it now. I'm busy.

Eli: Hardly! Are you embarrassed to open it in front of me?

Daniel: It's a birthday present for you, ok! Are you happy now!?

Eli: Stop. It is not. Why are you embarrassed to open it in front of me?

Daniel: I'm not embarrassed!

Eli: Daniel. What's in the package?

Daniel: It's just a movie I ordered.

Eli: What movie?

Daniel: Saw IV.

Eli: I know it is not Saw IV. Open that package right now.

Daniel: Fine.

[Daniel opens the package]


Daniel: IT'S A CLASSIC!!!

Eli: You got Amazon to ship that all the way to the other side of the world?! You might as well have ordered . . . NOPE! AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER IS THE WORST EXAMPLE POSSIBLE!

Daniel: Oh come on! It's not as bad a crocheting!


Daniel: Good point.

Eli: Well Daniel. How does it feel?

Daniel: How does what feel?

Eli: How does it feel to be the first 25 year old man in the history of the world to have experienced menopause?

Daniel: Hey, I put the "men" in menopause!

Eli: You should cross-stitch that into a pillow.

~It Just Gets Stranger


  1. I just voted! Keep us posted, I'd love to hear when Dean wins.

  2. I voted too! AND begged all 3 of my FB friends to do likewise! I have a feeling that this is Dean's year for the Kona ironman. God bless him, his story IS very inspirational. I do feel cheated out of an interpretive dance though....I was totally expecting one ~ I felt like you might even incorporate a Venetian mask and tea kettle...anyway, I should have known you wouldn't film it. And THAT is why I decided to come to you.....clear off the couch, because I am dusting off my SCUBA gear as we speak. Now, don't worry, I promise not to be hard to get rid of (like the Germans); I couldn't possibly stay more than 2 weeks. :-)

  3. Voted! Now, if only we could see an interpretive dance WHILE you sing Genie in a bottle...Is that what you're performing in DC? Yes, it is, how did you know, you say? I'm psychic, but only about interpritive dances. It's a very specific power i only use for good. I could not be more excited to see this!

  4. My husband watches soap operas and eats jelly candy made by Brauchs (like oranage slices). I call him an old lasy all of the time. It's sad, but he doesn't care.

  5. How is it possible that Daniel is still single?

    1. I really want him for my still-single 25 year old daughter. I think he would make a fabulous son-in-law! :-)

  6. "You should cross-stitch that into a pillow". Lol!!

  7. My husband would not only watch An Affair to Remember, he would cry like a baby at the end. He also likes teen girl "chick flicks" and cries in the sad parts. He got hooked on those while watching with our teenage daughter. I'm not too worried though, he also likes all of the Die Hard and Lethal Weapon movies.

  8. Did you minor in interpretive dancing, Eli? Didja?

    I voted. For Dean. What a touching story. You better keep us posted!

    Mary Higgins Clark writes some good stuff, Eli; don't judge a book by its cover.

  9. Some Men do act like little old ladies.. my father of 70 yells at the top of his voice shrilly..."here kitty kitty kitty" to lock the shop cats in at night in his Manly Auto shop... by coincodence my Dads name is Daniel too... Daniel should have just told you twice up the barrel once down the side.. and Thank You for the interpretive dance! I voted and shared.. Good Luck Dean.

  10. I voted and then I shared it on my FB so my friends could go vote. I watched his video and I cried but I came back here and Eli, you made me laugh. and snort.
    "You should cross-stitch that into a pillow" best line today.

  11. Eli, you are hilarious and also a sweetheart. Thank you for putting out the word for my Dad. GO TEAM IRONDEAN!! And thank you to everyone that has voted. Share with your friends and lets get my dad to KONA!

  12. Okay, I voted. Good luck Dean. From what I watched in your video you definitely deserve it.

    ~V & T

  13. I'm happily married, but I have to say a guy who likes to read Mary Higgins Clark (I do too), watch classics (me too), and does he really know how to crochet (I learned when I was a teen) sounds like a decent catch. Of course he does eat eggs left out too long.

  14. Mary Higgins Clark: good
    Agatha Christie: better
    IronDean Bullock: best
    Eli and Daniel: funniest

  15. This is right on the border of being too funny. I go into withdrawl when I'm done reading your posts, then I memorize them to keep me company in the dull moments of my life.

    1. Yes! My brother and I text each other our favorite parts of the post throughout the day.

  16. Voted!! You two are hysterical... Thank you for always, ALWAYS, brightening my day.

  17. Voted!
    Good Luck Dean, I'll say a prayer for you and your dream!

  18. So Eli...I don't mean to take away from Dean's quest, your hilarity, or impending excitement concerning your upcoming tour-de-force in the States, but I have a question. What will happen to Stranger when you are no longer in Palau? I mean, twice up the barrel, once down the side, but what will you do without sea snakes, cultural awkwardness, and Daniel?

    1. I like to think I can make a fool of myself from anywhere.

    2. I'm sure he can. ^^

  19. At least he wasn't reading Twilight? Or buying Twilight on DVD.

  20. "Waterfalls" actually came on after I finished reading this! The radio station must have just read your blog :)

  21. You should cross-stitch that into a pillow - perfect response.

  22. Voted! Even teared up a little during the video!!!

  23. Thank you so much Eli! Thanks for putting the word out about my dad's video. Thanks for voting and sharing everyone. And thanks for always being able to make people laugh and smile :)

  24. "I put the men in 'menopause'" HAHAHA BEST THING EVER!

  25. I feel like....your roles were probably reversed.

    1. Hahahaha highly likely. Poor Eli didn't want to look like a fool. (A for effort!)

  26. You don't know me but I stalk your blog. I love you. And now I love Dean. I voted and I'm sharing with my friends to do the same. Anything is possible!

  27. The Stranger community is big enough to make this Dean thing happen!

    And this post might be my favorite one after the book club emails.

  28. Thanks for the shout out for Dean! It is always inspiring to see someone who does not give up on dreams! Oh. . .and. . . of course. . .you crack me up! I'm pretty sure Daniel would be just as popular with his own blog. Geeze Louise. . .if only he wasn't so busy doing someone's (ahem) laundry. Hmmmm. . .what would he be singing to himself (and us)? "Da daaa dadum. . .Our looooove affair was meant to be.. . .L is for the way you LOOK at me. . . Faaaaaithfully."

  29. I'm 19 years old (a female, but still not an old lady!) and I love Agatha Christie. And I do enjoy the occasional crocheting. If Mary Higgins Clark's books are anything like Christie's, then I applaud Daniel on his choice!

    I hope Dean gets in the Ironman, he definitely seems to deserve it. I'll pass on the video and call to vote to my friends.

  30. I've heard enough of why and how is Daniel single. Come on.. HOW IS ELI STILL SINGLE?! He's perfect..!

    I voted as well and shared the link on my facebook. I genuinely hope he qualifies. His story really touched me.

  31. I think im falling in love with Daniel.

  32. I voted! PS Is it possible to vote multiple times?

  33. Tell Daniel he should come to Skagway, AK next...just go from one extreme to another. Sounds good right?

  34. I voted! Also, you must know some of the same people I do, because my friend posted about Dean on FB as well! Small world! Just hope I don't bump into the Queen of Colors next....
    <.< (me looking around suspiciously)

    1. I bet you will... the QofC is everywhere!