Bob: Son, why did you cut your hair like that?

Cathie: Are you acting out because of depression?

Eli: Why do you guys always assume I'm depressed?

Cathie: Because of your life.

Bob: And because you always seem to be acting out.

Eli: Guys, I'm not depressed. I'm happy.

Bob: You are? Why? Are you taking drugs?

Cathie: ARE YOU?!

Eli: I'm not taking drugs.

Cathie: AND HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT DRUGS ARE, YOUNG MAN?!

Eli: How do YOU know what drugs are?

Cathie: I don't. I've just heard that word before.

Bob: So you're not depressed? Are you looking for attention? Is that why you cut your hair like that?

Eli: No, I'm not looking for attention.

Bob and Cathie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Eli: I mean with this. I'm not looking for attention with this. Ok?

Bob: Have you been keeping contacts with other law firms in case you get fired?

Eli: Why do you guys always assume I'm on the verge of getting fired? You know I've never been fired from a job before, right?

Cathie: That's because your father and I are very good parents.

Bob: VERY good parents.

Eli: It's amazing how you two are able to turn every conversation into this.

~It Just Gets Stranger