Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Celebrity Flight

Skylar took a flight from L.A. to Salt Lake City last weekend. While he was at the airport in L.A., he started texting me.


In the above video, Skylar stealthily moves the phone from his hand to show a girl sitting at a table with someone who is probably her mom. I wanted to show you this video so you could weigh in. But:



So this just proves that you should never ask for permission to do anything because people who don't want you to be happy are always ready to stand in the way and tell you "no" and "stop texting me" and "sir, put your pants back on; this is a library."

Skylar gave private screenings of the video to select "sensitive" friends, each of whom confirmed, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it is Honey Boo Boo. But Skylar, who shall never get a job with TMZ, still refuses to allow me to exploit a potential Boo Boo doppelganger for your entertainment.

I GUESS THIS ISN'T EVEN AMERICA ANYMORE.

Once Skylar got onto the plane we immediately forgot about Honey Boo Boo (NOT THAT ANYONE COULD EVER FORGET ABOUT HONEY BOO BOO). We forgot about Honey Boo Boo because:



He stopped responding to me after that because I guess Skylar doesn't know how to accept help from people.

Two hours later I picked him up at the airport because I'm just a really good person and I do nice things like that but I don't want anyone to know because my reward is the warm feeling I get when I serve.

He climbed into the car, informed me that the mystery was solved and that the person on the plane was Miles Teller, who is apparently this guy:


You know. "Zach." But "uglier."

But Skylar was no longer interested in Miles Teller OR Honey Boo Boo (never forget) because he had an even BIGGER celebrity on his plane.

But now he had a new problem because he couldn't remember the name of this celebrity either. So we called in the big guns.

My friend Corey could recognize a D-list celebrity's DNA sample if it was transmitted through pelicans speaking in Morse Code. So we texted her. She asked Skylar to provide as much information as he could. So he did:


Corey is still mad about that time three years ago when my friend Bruno gave me a VIP pass to the Sundance Film Festival and I spent a week spotting celebrities that I didn't care about or recognize due to apathy and facial blindness. I was told then, and reminded with some regularity since then, that that experience was "wasted" on me.

In any event, Corey did her best to find the three or four celebrities who even remotely matched Skylar's description.

Skylar explained that none of the guesses were correct and "if you could have just seen him you would know instantly!"

Hours went by. We waited in agony for any other helpful clues.

And then, finally, he remembered that he had seen this person in Spy Kids.

I just realized right now that Corey and I became too excited with this final, helpful, revelation that we totally forgot to openly mock Skylar for having seen Spy Kids.

(Making a note for later)

We quickly opened IMDb and began scanning the Spy Kids cast, until finally, FINALLY, Skylar confirmed.

He was on a flight with Alan Cumming. This guy:


You know. The really skinny French guy from all those Wes Anderson films.

And by French we mean Scottish and by Wes Anderson we mean not Wes Anderson.

The irony is that Alan Cumming is one of probably three celebrities I actually would recognize (Paul Simon and Oprah. Duh).

So, yeah. Apparently there are two of us who are bad at this.

Now I want to know your best celebrity sighting. GO.

~It Just Gets Stranger

56 comments:

  1. I don't think anyone can fully describe the dawning horror that came over me as I realized that I had confused a Wes Anderson movie with "Spy Kids". Honestly, I almost decided to quietly drop the topic and never tell a soul, but I was scared Corey was going to hunt me down and interrogate me until I told her the name of the celebrity. Specifically, my mind was picturing this would all go down like that scene in that Wes Anderson movie, Lord of the Rings, where Sauron tortures Gollum until he screams out "baaggiinnnnnsssss", except I would be screaming "Cumminggssssss", which sounds uncomfortably more inappropriate.

    Anyways, somedays you think you're real smart and cultured and then other days you remember you saw Spy Kids.

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    1. Hey everyone is allowed to make mistakes once. As long as you didn't see Spy Kids 2 or 3, I think can hold you head up high. It's just too bad that you didn't recognize him from something classy like Gwyneth Paltrow's Emma as Mr Elton.

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    2. Lol, Skylar, your comment made me laugh really hard.

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    3. Skylar, you made me laugh out loud.

      Aaaaand, I've seen ALL of the Spy Kids movies. My kids love them.

      But I will confess that I watched "Shark Boy and Lava Girl" as a young adult without kids.

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  2. I feel for you Eli! I don't recognize people I know half the time! There have been a couple times I have run into cousins and had no idea who they were, today I ran into my next door neighbor who I am good friends with at the store, and had to think for a few seconds before I figured out who it was. When my husband came to pick me up on our first date, I literally saw him get out of his car through the window and thought "who is that cute guy? Is he lost?" Oh yeah, and this was a girl's choice dance, so I had asked him out (he was picking me up cause I hadn't gotten my license quite yet).

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  3. I love the banter. You and Skyler are such a goals couple!!

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  4. You are clearly WAY too young as there hasn't been a single reference to Pee Wee Herman in the discussion of Alan Cummings. Alan Cummings is, of course, NOT Pee Wee Herman but he looks so much like him that I've don't know a child of 80s that doesn't immediately think of Pee Wee when we see Alan Cummings.

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    1. Funny you should mention it! Skylar actually used "looks like Pee Wee Herman" as one of his descriptions but I forgot to include it here. He will be happy to be validated.

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    2. I would have IMMEDIATELY known who it was. And Corey isn't all that great at figuring these things out if she didn't.

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    3. I should clarify: he used that description when telling *me* about him. As you can see "looks like Pee Wee Herman" didn't make it into the text to Corey. I think I inappropriately filtered that out because I assumed it was unhelpful. Hashtag facial blindness.

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    4. Okay - Corey is forgiven - I'd inappropriate assumed that there was more information provided after that text prior to the Spy Kids information. My apologies.

      And that'll teach you not to filter because that one piece of information was CRUCIAL!

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  5. I saw the actress who played Anne in AOGG at an airport. And this was in the 90s so she was fresh off of the second part (I think it was the second). I was so excited but too scared to approach her so I just gawked from a distance. Which reminds me, my favorite part of every Strangerville episode is when you and Jolyn make random reference to PEI. Prince Edward Island forevzzzzzz.

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  6. Your list should be probably be at least four celebrities you would recognize, because if anyone would know Jeff Probst if they saw him, it would be you.

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    1. I can't believe I forgot Jeff! (We're on first-name basis, obvi)

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    2. Isn't Dean Strang kinda a celebrity now because you would TOTALLY recognize him too.

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  7. I was on a flight out of Atlanta and there were LOTS of security agents who looked like they were the Men In Black hanging around the gate and on the jetway. This was before 9/11 so it was really unusual. After everyone boarded the plane a limo pulled up beside the exterior jetway stairs with more men in black. Next thing I knew Jimmy Carter was a couple of rows ahead of me walking down the aisle and shaking hands with and briefly chatting with everyone on board. It was so heart-warming and exciting to meet him and shake his hand.

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  8. I've run into you in SLC twice, and that's my best celebrity sighting.

    I'M SO LAME.

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    1. OR you are the luckiest person on the planet!

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    2. Seeing Eli in SLC was my best celebrity sighting too!!!

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    3. Amy, did we meet?? Remind me! It's funny that you made this comment. Just a day or two ago I swear to you I read a comment you wrote and I actually thought "Amy Rose has been around for a while. I wonder if I'll ever run into her one day."

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    4. Since we apparently go to the same bike shop and run in the same park, it actually seems UNlucky that I've run into you only twice.

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    5. It was when you were running the slc marathon, the Deseret classic really, and my husband was running the same marathon. (This would have been two? three? years ago now? Three is my vote) I was waiting for him to run by to cheer for him, and you went running by with a friend? Or someone who just wanted to run with you? Anyway, I supes casually said "hi Eli!" You looked over and said "hi!" And kept running. And then I texted everyone I knew to tell them and most of them were like "What? Lucky!!" And some of them were like "who? What?"
      If you are wondering about my husband, it was his worst marathon ever, he injured his foot doing it, a month later he ran a 50k and made the injury worse, and that's a sob story right there. But I have been around for A WHILE and will never stop checking my mail for the invite to the family reunion.

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    6. Katie, are you the one who stopped me and Krishelle that one time when we took Mr. Pants for a walk in the park?

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    7. I'm jealous of any Eli sighting. I keep inviting him to Kalamazoo but he's oddly resistant. . . . .

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  9. I once saw Abby from dance moms on my southwest flight... I tried to get a picture and failed miserably, lol, but there was no mistaking her. I would have recognized her with my eyes closed. She was loudly complaining about all the idiots who didn't use southwests free checked bag policy. What a lovely person. Lol.

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  10. My friends and I like to spot people who look kind of like famous people and then follow them around discreetly as if they actually are. It's fun. But I did once see Brad from Rocky Horror Picture Show in the Safeway parking lot in Winter Park Colorado. Before he was that guy from that TV show I don't watch.

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  11. Ryan Gosling once held an elevator for me. We got to it seconds after him and he was kind enough to hold the door instead of making us wait for another one. At first I was like, "this dude is really attractive and familiar looking." It didn't hit me that it was the Gos until we got off the elevator and I just about lost it.

    I also got to pet Christina Hendricks dog and walk alongside her. She's super friendly.

    (I play roller derby in Detroit's Masonic Temple, which has become the home-base for many movies recently, so it's not uncommon for us to run into random celebs.)

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  12. I waited on Conway Twitty at the Hyvee deli in 1991 when I was 16. I didn't know he was a "celebrity" at the time. We live in Iowa, there isn't much to see here.

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  13. I saw the guy from Blue's Clues at a state fair in 2005. That was preeeeeetttty amazing.

    I'm lame. That's all I've got.

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    1. Steve or Joe? This is important.

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    2. EXTREMELY IMPORTANT - YOU MUST ANSWER THIS QUESTION!

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  14. I met Julie Andrews at Disneyland and ran past Mike Tyson (his facial tattoos made him easy to recognize) at LAX. I was also at the SLC airport and I saw a woman in the restroom who was a dead ringer for Rihanna. She was putting on a wig and changing into sweats. Looked just like her but why would she be in SLC airport? My husband often points out professional football and basketball players in airports, but I never know who they are.

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  15. I sold a dog collar to Janeane Garofalo once. Do I get any points for that? But, it was the 90s, so...

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    1. Well - she was reallllllly huge in the 90s. In terms of celebrity status - not size that is. So yeah - I think there's points to be had there.

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  16. *Hangs her head as she admits* The only thing I know Alan Cumming from is the 90's Disney version of the musical Annie, where he plays the slimy Rooster Hannigan who sings "Easy Street." So... there's that.

    As far as celeb sightings go, I ran into the bearded guy from the LDS movie "Charly" and "Once I was a Beehive" years ago at Temple Square during Christmastime. And my parents sat by Bill Nye a few months ago on a plane.

    Apparently that's as cultured as I get.

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  17. My husband and I have been on a flight from Minnesota to New York with Jeffrey Tambor. Before we boarded, he was at a gate next to ours interacting with military personnel who were heading overseas. He graciously took pictures with all of them and conversed with them until they boarded their flight. He sat across from my husband on the plane to New York and they chatted off and on. When we got to NY, he graciously posed for a picture with me.

    Another time, we were at LAX coming home from Hawaii and Henry Winkler and his wife were on our flight from LA to SLC. They were heading to Montana to fish. When we landed, they had a very short time to get to their connecting flight. It was very early in the morning and Mrs. Winkler wanted Starbucks. Henry told her that they would stop on the way to the gate. We let them know that there was no Starbucks at the E gates. She was very disappointed and as they were quickly heading to their gate, Henry stops, turns around and yells loudly at us, "Thanks so much for the info!" drawing a lot more attention to himself than he wanted. It was something he didn't have to do, so we thought it was very gracious of him. That's our interaction with celebrity.

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  18. JEFFREY TAMBOR from Arrested Development. My husband and I went to a convocations he gave at Weber State and when Tambor saw my fat baby in the audience HE TALKED RIGHT TO ME.

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  19. I saw Lark Voorhies at Universal Studios (or maybe Six Flags? Anyway, some non-Disney theme park in California) on a trip with the orchestra in high school, probably back in '94. She was standing in line like regular people, with her posse, so we walked past each other several times as the line snaked around. I loved Saved By the Bell, so that was huge for me!

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    1. That's funny. I saw Mayim Bialik at Knotsberry farm on a band trip probably in 1994. That TV show Blossom was airing during that time so she was all in disguise, but we weren't fooled.

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    2. oh! We also saw Ian Ziering that same day (they weren't together). In the 90s he was totally a big deal too.

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  20. Eli, I know you're too sweet, innocent, and cultured to know about David Allen Coe, but that is one of my brushes with fame... 25 years ago, a friend and I went to his concert in a certain establishment where they serve adult beverages. A few songs into the concert, the sheriff's department showed up to arrest DAC and impounded his bus. I never got to meet him, but after hanging out with his band and crew for the evening, my friend and I gave some of them a ride to their hotel, since their ride was impounded. Ridiculously dangerous, and my kids better not ever do anything so stupid, but it's an adventure I'll always remember... and, no...it wasn't a crazy story... we gave them a ride, end of story. ;)
    I was also lucky to be able to visit the movie set of Steele Magnolias in Natchitoches, LA and meet Dolly Parton and Tom Skerrit. Darryl Hannah rode her bike by us but wouldn't stop for pictures and a meet and greet. I was so mad and thought she was being a stuck-up Hollywood snob. I have since learned that she is on the Autism spectrum and now I feel badly about that.

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  21. Lived in LA for years and saw lots of celebs. The Hoff, Osbornes, courtney Love, bree from desperate housewives... At least once a month you see someone. But when we moved away and went back for a visit I ran into James Corden. You know, Smithy, from Gavin and Stacey? And never in my life have I asked for a photo before because of tourist! But I LOVE Smithy! So I did it! I'm so me and I felt so lame after! We were getting acai bowls for breakfast and I had no makeup on and I never showed a soul the picture but I have it! Too bad he doesn't know that I would be awesome at carpool karaoke...

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  22. I sold a gift card to the woman who played Juliet in LOST and Mrs. Claus in the Santa Claus 2. I was a LOST nerd and she was my favorite character on the show, so I'm ashamed to say that I completely fangirled out and embarrassed myself (even though she had her hair pulled up under a hat and was wearing sunglasses inside, meaning she clearly did not want to deal with crazy people like myself). But I'm so glad I was working that day because she was very kind about my temporary insanity and none of my coworkers had any idea who she was, so the experience would have been wasted on them.

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  23. One time we either saw Colonel Saunders at the airport or a guy that REALLY liked to dress up like him and get on airplanes...

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  24. On my 11th birthday, I went to a Seattle Mariner's game. When we got out, we ran into Bill Nye the Science Guy. He pointed to the sky and asked my brother and "Do you see the comet??" I couldn't see it, but there was was no way I was gonna admit that to the Science Guy, so I lied and said, "Uh... yeah!"

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  25. I LOVE Alan Cumming, I saw him in a one man show of Macbeth and he signed my playbill. My friend and I were too starstruck to say anything.

    I've seen Neil Patrick Harris twice, at two different Broadway plays (we were in the audience together, he wasn't in the play) and once I shook Joe Biden's hand, but those are my only real celebrity sightings.

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  26. My sister and I saw a Kpop star in Korea. It was on the subway and so random, but probably the highlight of our two weeks in Seoul.

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    1. This would make my trip too!

      I am super upset that Lee Min Ho and Park Shin Hye filmed parts of The Heirs in my city and I had no idea till I watched the drama :*( Later I found youtube vids of them walking around downtown and saying Hi to the few people who knew who they were.

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  27. My dad is working in Boca Raton this month and last night he ate dinner at a restaurant and was seated next to The Goldberg's. Not the actors who play them on the tv show, but the actual parents the show is based on. How he knew it was them is beyond me. My dad has the ability to become best friends with everyone he meets and they asked him to join their table. This led to them calling my mom and had a nice chat with Mrs. Goldberg. So now when my mom goes down to visit my dad next week they are all getting together for dinner.

    Oh, I met the Pope last year when I was living in Philadelphia. I stood for hours despite debilitating stomach pains (and I'm not even Catholic), got to shake his hand and then promptly limped my way to the hospital (since no cabs or any transportation was allowed downtown) where I was admitted for 3 days with diverticulitis. You'd have thought that handshake would have healed me...

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  28. I have tried to post many times and never made it through but this is a new computer at a new job so here goes lol....

    Ok I lived in DC for many years and saw many politicians but Marion Barry was the best as he slumped into the booth next to my boy friend extremely drunk at our favorite steak house on Capital Hill.

    Saw "The Big Show" on a plane heading to Florida once,

    Got an autograph and picture with the original Scotty from Star Trek when I was a kid.

    And my Mom sold a house to John Schneider's Grandmother in the 80's lol

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  29. I met William Shatner. He was so very William Shatner. I've actually met or seen quite a few celebrities. I'm more like Corey than you. I have a knack for that sort of thing. I was the reigning champion of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon for years. (I'm three degrees from Kevin Bacon, btw.)

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  30. Art thing- my parents met glass artist Dale Chihuly. In Chicago, they were filming Mel Gibson's movie Ransom. He was across the street from my group. A lady busted through the line and jumped on his back like hugging him. His bodyguard who was like 7 feet tall and huge grabbed her and just launched her. He shook himself off and walked on, she ran off screaming, I touched Mel Gibson! We heard her for blocks. It was so cool.

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  31. I walked past Arthur Darvill (from Doctor Who) on my way to a play at the Globe Theatre in London one day. He was doing a show there, and I figured out later he was probably coming from the matinee. He had headphones on and looked a little grumpy, and he did a pretty major double-take when our eyes met - probably because I had just had my head shaved a few days before. I didn't actually process who he was until we passed each other (RORY!), but when I realized I stopped and seriously considered running after him to say hello. Which, thankfully, I did not do. (Except, perhaps, when I consider that if I had we might have totally hit it off once I assured him I was not a creepy stalker, and we could have hung out and dated and might now be married with two cute, adorkable red-headed kids. What? I kinda rocked the shaved head.) About a week later I actually saw the show he was in, standing about three feet from the stage. (PREVIOUSLY PURCHASED TICKET NOT STALKER, I swear.)

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    1. I would have chases him..lol

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  32. My SIL and my two brothers and I once accidentally stalked David Boreanaz in Park City. We honestly did not mean to do it.

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