Tuesday, March 27, 2018

The people of My Life

You guys. We are in the last days. I don't mean that religiously. Unless you consider Strangerville Live a religious experience, which some do. (I'm referring, probably, to the ones who have shown up at our shows wearing June Snapple shirts or Snuggies).

After every show Bob and Cathie tell me that I was the very best one no matter what else happens. They would tell me this even if I vomited onstage and electrocuted the audience. So if you want to come and see if they are right, do us a solid and get your tickets today at this link.

We are so excited to see y'all there this Friday at Church & State in Salt Lake City. Not that I say y'all, obvie.

And now:

Ring Ring

Eli: Hello?

Skylar: I'M DYING AND NO ONE CARES!

Eli: Is this more or less serious than when you were dying because you forgot to put on sunscreen and went outside for 20 minutes two weeks ago.

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Neck Flits

You should know that THIS FREAKING WEEK we have our next Strangerville Live show. This is the most excited I've been for one of our events, mostly because we are in an amazing new venue, Meg has promised to tell us a story, AND THE FREAKING SUZZZZZZZZ IS COMING. I know that you are used to me speaking in hyperbole, but know ye this, the Suzzzzzzzz's story is one of my favorite stories I've ever heard. And I'm telling a story as well--one that I've never told anyone before, and one that I've been waiting for the right moment to share.

We have some limited seating for this show and so we strongly encourage you to get your tickets at this link if you haven't already. We are so excited to spend a fun Salt Lake evening with you this Friday, if you can make it.

And while you're at it, and before you jump into today's written story, please enjoy one of the most interesting Strangerville stories we've had in a long time:



*****

Last weekend my dad called me and said that Gmac was having major technological problems that he couldn't resolve.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Seaweed

The water moved in and out. Slowly. Methodically. Miles of coral reef prevented it from forming enough critical mass to make waves. The sun was dropping down, settling into an oceanic horizon. A tiny island with one palm tree appeared only as silhouette courtesy of the sun's back-lighting.

Suddenly something grabbed my wrist, pulling hard. I didn't look down at it because I thought I wasn't supposed to stop looking at the island's silhouette.

It was a dream. But I didn't know it.

I was back in Palau on a familiar beach.

One that was always somehow simultaneously calming and lonely.

The water moved in and out.

I resisted the pull from whatever had caught hold of my wrist, continuing to stare at the island's silhouette, watching the one palm tree lean and move a little. There was something else on the island and that's why I was watching it. If I looked away, even for a moment, that something would get washed away by the water.

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Chocolate Cake: Another Attempt



Please check out today's episode of Strangerville, above (and at the bottom of this post, because we're persistent like that), featuring a story about what happens when pen pals don't end up murdering each other.

Also, don't forget that our Strangerville Live show is NEXT WEEK (March 30). Please get tickets at this link if you haven't already.

***** 

You may recall that a little while ago TV lied to me and made me think that it was sufficient education for baking. I spent basically two full days trying to make a mirror-glaze cake from a British recipe that may as well have been written in another language.

Whatever I ended up with was definitely not mirror-glaze and it probably wasn't even technically a cake, and after that experience I decided that I would never bake anything ever again.

Then last week happened.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Skylar Has The Best Words

Skylar is struggling with words lately, as was evidenced in a conversation I had with him a few days ago in which he actually said this:

"Do you have any . . . oh . . . what's that word? What's the word I'm trying to say? Help me here. I'm thinking of that thing that's wool but it's like a noodle and you have it but like noodles but it's like one LONG noodle."

Yarn.

He couldn't think of the word for yarn.

You know. That wool noodle.

I once walked into a room and he was talking to a customer service representative on the phone and I heard him say:

"My name is Skylar. That's S as in Cyberbully, K as in Cat, Y as in . . . the letter Y."

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Bike Computer

 Please enjoy this week's Strangerville episode above, and today's written story below.

***** 

Training for the upcoming Half Ironman has been difficult the last few months, as it always is for this May race, because I am unwilling to go outside unless it is exactly 71 degrees and people are cheering for me.

I feel some guilt when I'm driving to or from work and I see cyclists out on the road with their fancy bikes and winter gear, sliding across the snowy roads, undeterred by the misery that is biking outside in the wintertime.

But the guilt isn't enough to get me to join them.

I, Eli Washingtonittle McCann, simply refuse to bike outside during the winter. Whatever the promised payoff, it is not worth it to me.

Friday, March 9, 2018

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

In case you missed it, we announced our next Strangerville Live show, which will happen March 30 in Salt Lake City. You should get your tickets before they sell out at this link. And then tell Matt how great he did at designing the image for the thing so that he gets so overwhelmed with compliments that he explodes.

BTW, I asked The Suzzzz to send me a picture we could use to advertise. She sent me two. The one we didn't use is one of the most glorious images I've ever seen in my life, but I wanted to save it for a truly special occasion. If you're good, maybe I'll share it with you soon.

And now, your Pictures & Distractions:
A new painting I picked up in Moab.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

We're Baaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaack

After being poisoned by essential oils in our last Strangerville Live show, we decided that it was probably time to find a new venue.

I'm learning that Meg is one of those people that somehow knows everyone in the entire world. And everyone in the entire world is at least a little afraid of Meg.

Let's just say I'm probably not the only person who reads Meg's texts in a scary dragon voice.

Meg set up a meeting with some folks at such a cool place that you have to name 25 bands no one has ever heard of just to get in the front door, and we're glad she did, because we are very excited to announce that Strangerville Live is going to partner with Church and State to bring you our next live show on March 30 at 8:00 PM.

Church and State is located just a few blocks away from our old venue, at 370 S 300 E in Salt Lake City. We think you're going to love this move.

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Delicate Arch

Check out our latest Strangerville episode above (or at the bottom of this post)!

I've been working a million hours the last couple of months and it has been stressful. I can tell when I'm reaching a breaking point because the day-to-day work I do starts to affect me emotionally. Two Sundays ago I was dealing with a bunch of really depressing child abuse situations all day. I was tired. And then I got a pretty run-of-the-mill phone call that sent me over the edge and suddenly I was eating ice cream out of a container with a fork, choking back tears, and searching the internet for poodle mixes.

So I decided I needed a break.

The problem is, this is a really hard time of year for me to take a vacation because for some reason everyone laws all of their laws from January through March, so working a million hours is sort of the norm for me during these months.