Thursday, April 18, 2019

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

We're babysitting Mr. Ollie Pants this week because Matt is in "Miss'ippi." What this means is I've got a very judgmental dog following me around all day every day looking up at me like he's disappointed and I know this makes me sound a little crazy but I've been cleaning more than usual because of it.

IT HAS HUMAN EYES, YOU GUYS.

See below in this week's Pictures & Distractions:

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Game of Thrones

Skylar: Do you want to watch Game of Thrones with me?

Eli: I'd rather be eaten by warlocks.

Skylar: Joke's on you because there aren't warlocks in the show.

Eli: Well what does Game of Thrones have?

Skylar: Zombies.

Eli: That has to be a lie.

Skylar: Well, technically they aren't zombies, they're whi--

Eli: Stop. I know the fact that I've now given you upwards of 10 seconds of my time for this conversation probably makes you think I care, but I truly don't.

Skylar: Just come watch it with me while I file the divorce papers. I'll even let you ask me which one is Dumbledore.

Eli: You can't divorce me because we aren't married yet and I've passed my prime so I can't find anyone else.

Sunday, April 14, 2019

A Text Gone Wrong

Hola--Before we get to today's story, please enjoy Part 2 of our series on cringeworthy classic Mormon movies. This week we look at films about family. Isn't it about . . . time.

 

*****

Like anyone who is paying attention, school shootings stress me out and make me sad. There's nothing funny about them. The fact that we have to worry about them and that they regularly happen is insane.

But.

You guys.

My friend Nancy texted me the other day about a thing she accidentally did and I canNOT stop laughing.

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

The Mormon Coffee Rumor

Meg is mad at me about coffee. I didn't actually do anything wrong, but homegirl is taking all of her anger out on me anyway.

It started a couple of weeks ago when she tweeted.


Skylar "I don't even use Twitter and that's why I never like your tweets don't take it personally" Westerdahl immediately showed it to me and asked whether I knew what Meg was talking about.

Quick side note, yesterday morning I somehow ended up in a very confusing journey through Skylar's twitter. I got deeeeeep. And eventually found the moment he became gay.

Sunday, April 7, 2019

Mormon Films, Part I: Gender Roles

For a little while I've been wanting to do a series on the cringiest and most memorable Mormon films from my childhood. There were a whole bunch of these that I grew up watching over and over at church functions.

These films hold a weird special place in my heart. There's a certain special horror and nostalgia I feel watching them as an adult. Nostaliga, because they remind me of being a kid in the early 90s when times were simple, but horror because most of these films have not aged well.

This week for Strangerville we released the first of what will be a four-part series reviewing and analyzing these religious movies. Today's offering includes some films that explore gender roles and the treatment of women in the 70s and 80s.

Please enjoy.

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

Next week Meg and I are doing another event for this whole Provo bachelor business (I know. Don't even start with me.). It's this "women tell all" or something where we ask the teenagers who the man teenager didn't choose to date for the rest of the semester why they're mad. The point is, I really need like 1,000 Strangers to come to this thing because the last event was filled with BYU students who were legitimate fans of the show and I'm pretty sure they booed me and I'm not sure I can handle that kind of adversity again.

The event is free. Register at this link. And please come. It's next Thursday.

And now, your Pictures & Distractions:

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Half Ironmans are a Mistake

The St. George half Ironman is somehow only one month away, which means that you people are about to commit your annual felony of failing to stop me from doing this stupid thing.

The only reason I can think of for why I sign up for this every year is that I'm a creature of habit with debilitating FOMO so I refuse to give up on something that causes me a massive amount of pain on an annual basis. So I sign up for the half Ironman and keep watching Fuller House and repeatedly befriend people who use essential oils.

I convince myself in the midst of a post-Christmas sugar coma every December 26 that doing that May race in the harsh desert climate for the better part of a full Saturday is an exceptionally good idea that will give me not insignificant opportunities for humble bragging for months to come.

Then January hits and I'm like "OH HEY-O NO" because getting into a swimming pool is voluntary self-waterboarding and no one should do it. But I always seem to forget that. For real. I forget that no one has ever enjoyed swimming in any kind of liquid since the beginning of life in the universe.

I took science in high school. I know our history. First we were water snakes. Then we turned into dinosaur alligators. Then we climbed out of the water to be swamp people. Then there were tons of wars and diseases. And now we follow Chloe Kardashian on Instagram so she can be a billionaire.

The point is, we spent millions of years in a lake trying to figure out how to evolve so we wouldn't have to be in a lake anymore. It's basically a hate crime against our lizard ancestors when we disrespect them by voluntarily spending our time in swimming pools when we could instead be wearing cashmere and sipping wine in a penthouse.

#genealogy