Sunday, June 16, 2019

Like getting bought by Google

Last month Meg called me and said The Beehive wanted to take over Strangerville Live and I was like HOW COULD YOU THIS IS OUR BABY and Meg was like "they've offered to handle the logistics so we only have to worry about developing the stories and not hauling stages and chairs across the state" so then I immediately signed over all of my Constitutional rights and emailed them my social security number. They said that was all unnecessary but I'd do it again if they also offered to take over my laundry.

The point is, Strangerville Live is now a production of The Beehive, and we could not be more thrilled about it. This feels exactly like when you develop an app and then google buys it for 12 billion dollars. I've already replaced all of Duncan's teeth with pure gold.

And, we have a show coming up! Join us on July 12 at 8:00 PM at Church & State in Salt Lake City for our next Strangerville Live, featuring such hotties as Mara Lefler, Clint Betts, Alisa Van Langeveld, and Eli Whistlebottom McCann.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Return of the Strangerhood of the Traveling Snuggie

Three things:

First, look how organized I am making lists and stuff I'M AMAZING SHOWER ME WITH COMPLIMENTS AND GOLD.

Second, my friend Andrea listened to the Strangerville episodes on the refugee crisis a while back (you can find them here and here) and because she's an amazing person who will be running the cafeteria in heaven (heaven's most coveted job, 3 trillion years in a row), she decided to do something about it. Andrea has organized a little charity event to raise some money for an organization that sends people and resources to the border to aide traumatized women and children.

Andrea gathered some local people who will be performing music. She asked Meg and me if we would sing and I was like YES MEG AND I WOULD LOVE TO PERFORM I GOT YOU BABE TOGETHER but then Meg was like I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW ELI AND I ARE CONNECTED and I was like THEN YOU ARE MAKING A LOT OF VERY CONFUSING CHOICES IN YOUR LIFE.

Anyway, Meg is going to host the show and I'm going to tell a story and you guys should all come. It's in Riverton, Utah on June 22. It will be a very relaxed evening. I think there may be a silent auction as well. All proceeds from tickets and any other donations will go to the charity. So come! It will be fun! You can find more info through the Facebook event page HERE and the Eventbrite ticket page HERE.

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Connie Crochet

I was about 7 when I spent my first ever one-on-one quality time with grandma on my mom's side. At least, that's the first time I remember having quality one-on-one time with her. My family was visiting her in her small farm town on the Mexican border in southern California in the house where my mom finished high school.

Grandma ("Nonna") was only 60 at the time. I can't believe that's true. I just had to use a calculator to verify because that seemed so impossible to me. In my mind, she was always this little old lady, and 60 is not old to me anymore.

Anyway, we had been at a family party one night in the small farm town when my grandpa showed up. My grandparents were divorced long ago and my grandpa had done some bad things over the years and he wasn't a particularly pleasant person to be around. I was a small child so I was relatively unaware of what was happening, but looking back I can fill in some blanks and see that it was decided by my grandma and the other adults that she would head home pretty shortly after he arrived.

I had been fighting with a cousin who was a few years older than me and I really didn't want to be at the family party anymore either. My mom must have noticed that because I was suddenly being sent out to my grandma's car, arm-in-arm, to head back to grandma's house. Two buddies who were breaking away from a party early to go have our own party.

Thursday, June 6, 2019

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

You guys--people are mad right now and I can't hold them off any longer. All of a sudden in the last couple of weeks I've had multiple Strangers out of the blue write concerned and angry messages about where the hell the Traveling Snuggie ended up. I was hoping y'all would forget about it if enough time passed because I was too scared to tell you that THE TRAVELING SNUGGIE GOT STOLEN BY TERRORISTS. I think. Or it just got lost. All we know after extensive investigation is that it is missing due to the fault of no one except for the terrorists somewhere near Iowa or Ohio or one of those states that decides all our elections.

I've been thinking for a while that we should just start a new Strangerhood of the Traveling Snuggie quest but I haven't done it yet because lazy and tv and eating. So, you need to tell me if I should make this happen again.

And now, your Pictures & Distractions:
With tons of help from our friend Emily, we finally fixed up my dad's 1968 bike.

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Back to School

Months and months ago I was sitting at home one evening when suddenly I decided I should enroll in school.

To be honest, wine was involved. NotThatWeKnowWhatWineIs.

I googled "writing class" on my phone and found one through the University of Utah and without doing any further investigation, I texted Meg, "I think I want to take a writing course."

Meg replied, "are you inviting me or is just some weird flex."

I told Meg that I was obviously inviting her so she said she would take the class with me. The next thing I knew, I was typing my credit card numbers into the internet, one glass of Merlot sloshing in the other hand, shouting to Skylar in the other room "I'M GOING TO BE A WRITER" but I said "writer" in a weird accent that was probably not French or anything real.

The next day I saw Meg and asked her whether she signed up for the class yet because I was all excited to sit next to her in the back and copy her homework and say stuff like, "ugh, school is the worst!" and then high five her.

Sunday, June 2, 2019

This is why I'm so careful about responding to your comments.

I met Meg because we both told stories at The Porch back in 2014. She was funny and I immediately wanted to be friends with her. We ran into each other a time or two after that but I never recognized her because #facialblindness.

Then one day I wrote a less-than-supportive review of the cinematic masterpiece, Jurassic World, and Meg, who is like so obsessed with me, chimed in.