I was going to be in bed half an hour ago.  Today is just one of those days.

The company I have worked for for the past 3 years was bought out by another very large company today. I have been working very part-time since I started law school but even if I wasn't working for the company at all, this would still be a bit of a blow.  As we all know, economically speaking, banks have not done particularly well this year.  Some can scream that it's their own darn fault for creating their own darn messes.  Others can say that it's about darn time this company went by the wayside.  But for people like me and some of my family, as well as some of my closest friends, the fall of the giant company is much more than a Fox News alert--it's something personal, no matter how much anyone thinks personal and business should not coexist.  So I don't intend to address the economic issues or the long-term impact of the largest bank failure in U.S. history (as if I adequately could).  No, all I want to do tonight is try to explain what it feels like to have the wind somewhat unexpectedly knocked out of you.

This company was not just a money-making corporate entity for me.  No it wasn't a permanent career for me and I was rarely more than a part-time employee just trying to make enough to pay for my undergrad, but the company was much more than something that could simply be put on paper for me.  It's a company that I really love.  One that I never had a hard time dedicating myself to.  I have made some of my very closest friends working there.  I have also met some of the most wonderful people throughout the community I have worked in that I will likely stay in touch with all of my life.  I grew so much within the walls of that little building and had so many experiences there that I will take with me wherever I go.  I'm a different person now than I was 3 years ago and it's largely because of this company.  There I was encouraged, supported, taught, and befriended.  I was challenged, appreciated, and scolded regularly.  And now that this is all coming to an end, I feel like a big piece of me is going away.

I can't believe it was 3 years ago that I first walked into that building.  The tile floors had just been set and we were days from opening for business.  There was so much excitement as our company brand was posted all around and I quickly began to feel a part of the team that was introducing our new branch to the community.  I didn't have a clue as I sat behind a desk reading and watching training video after training video while my assistant manager quizzed me on company policies that to this day he'll tell you I either still don't know or rebelliously refuse to follow; this has been a major point of contention between the two of us for 3 years.  And when I called him tonight to ask him what tomorrow would be like just after I heard the news, he said "business as usual."  He then scolded me on branch policy that I had not obeyed the previous weekend when I submitted some paperwork.

I don't suppose this all means much to anybody reading this except for maybe those directly involved in the situation; but we can all relate somehow to really big change.  We all handle change differently.  Some of us cry; some are "business as usual" types; and others of us are the ones running through the building, throwing paper in the air screaming, as if anyone hadn't heard, "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!"  Whatever your method is, I sincerely hope for all of you that there is something inside that doesn't stop saying "sure it's sad.  I know it's hard.  But everything is going to be just fine."  And even if there doesn't seem to be any logical explanation of why everything will be fine, which is often the case, that something has a rather convincing power, logic defied and all.

It Just Gets Stranger~