Wednesday, December 10, 2008

One Final Done: and all is well (Torts)

I didn't sleep-in like we all guessed I probably would and I finished my first final today. It was 3 hours long and really stressful (for this I'm attributing the 5 cups of mashed potatoes and packet of gravy I just downed like cough syrup among the rest of my dinner only a few hours after the large lunch I had this afternoon).

The test didn't go completely sans drama unfortunately and about 90 minutes after the proctor told the class that she had two blue books at the front of the room to write in in case a computer crashed "but don't worry about it because in the four years I've done this I've NEVER seen a computer crash during a test," tragedy struck. I got the "blue screen of death" right in the middle of a sentence about products liability (one that wasn't that good anyway) and within 10 seconds I had developed ulcers, pancreatic cancer, the entire alphabet of the hepatitisies, tuberculosis, chlamydia, 12 cold sores, 30 canker sores that ended up merging in to 1 when they ran out of room, and hypersensitive disorder of the lower urinary tract, thus proving that worrying moms across the globe are correct in swearing that every ailment east or west of the Nile is probably due to stress. As my computer started to reboot itself, I wondered if I should go get the last remaining blue book from the front of the room and start handwriting my exam (my friend Corey had taken the other one when her computer decided at the beginning of the test that it was a perfect time to run all 50,000 Windows updates that it very maliciously seemed to be saving up over the last 4 months). I then had the following conversation in my head:

Eli: I should go get that last blue book.
Eli: No, it's the last one. If your computer starts working and someone else needs one you'll feel bad.
Eli: I shouldn't be thinking about other people right now.
Eli: Plus I don't want to have to climb over people to get up to the front of the room.
Eli: That girl's bag looks like an old potato sack.
Eli: Yeah it totally does. Plus I think she's worn those sweat-pants every day this week.
Eli: Mashed potatoes sound really good right now. I think I'll make some when I get home.
Eli: Wait; focus; computer problem; what am I going to do?
Eli: Well if it doesn't start in 10 seconds, go get the blue book.
Eli: OK that sounds good. And I can put garlic in the mashed potatoes--that's all I'm going to say!
Eli: OK--1, 2, 3, --oh and I have mozzarella cheese!--OK 4-5-6-, 7, 8-

Then the computer started back up and had miraculously saved all of my typing except for the last sentence which I told you wasn't any good anyway. I only lost about 3 minutes in the process and I didn't feel too bad about that because for about the last 6 minutes of the test I just retyped the same thing over and over in different words anyway because I ran out of things to say but couldn't seem to stop typing as I was determined to single-handedly in one sitting develop carpel tunnel to accompany the rest of my stress-induced diseases previously mentioned.

Now I'm preparing for my next test which will be Friday morning. On an unrelated note, if any of you happen to be experts on property law, don't hesitate to call me tomorrow and explain everything that I should have learned in the last 4 months that for reasons unknown I seem to have missed.

Thanks for all your prayers (I assume you've had me in your prayers--you seem to be that kind of people). I love you all and hope things are just getting stranger for you~


  1. All I have to say is the "BSOD" or "blue screen of death" is pure evil...I deal with it on a daily basis right now. I feel for you...well, kind of! Good luck!!!

  2. Who, you--run out of things to say? Inconcievable! Good luck with the rest of your finals!

  3. You're great, Eli. I'm happy you've completed one of your final. Good luck tomorrow!

  4. phew one down. good job! and uh, sorry your computer pooped out on you but i'm glad it miraculously came back to life!

  5. right when the proctor said "begin" on my test yesterday, i hit the button to begin, and my computer gave me an error message and stopped working. first time i've had issues with the computer after laughing at everyone else.

  6. How were the mashed potatoes? did you make them from scratch?

  7. Why hello Jan Brady! Should we be worried about you? Were you really having a conversation with yourself or are you hearing voices in your head? If you are, maybe you should get your girlfriend, Georgia Glass, to take you to counseling!