Sunday, December 18, 2011

Snuggie Texts Part II

The response to last week's Snuggie Texts post has been very entertaining and unexpected, getting near 100,000 views in the last six days. Many of us wondered whether Jane would eventually see the post. Yesterday morning while attending a family Christmas breakfast party I received a text from the same unknown number. Below is our text exchange, which took place throughout the day. Please share it via Facebook or otherwise and feel free to like our facebook page. I love you Jane. Keep being you.

Enjoy.




Jane:

So I've seen your blog.

Eli:

Which blog?

Jane:

The it's stranger blog.

Eli:

Is that the mom blog or the pet blog?

Jane:

You know which one I'm talking about. The one with my text.

Eli:

? A blog you've written? Can you send me the link?

Jane:

I'm talking about my text messages.

Eli:

What about them?

Jane:

Rrrrr. I saw your it's stranger blog with my text messages that I sent and your ridiculous texts about snuggies.

Eli:

Oh! Yes. Wait. Who is this?

Jane:

Jane.

Eli:

Oh hey Jane! Did you end up going with the snuggies?! After I thought about it, I changed my mind about the kitty pattern. Plain white with their initials would probably be more "Beth" (you know how animal patterns make her skin look).

Jane:

I didn't want to go halfsies on just one word block. I wanted to find a bunch of cute ones painted different colors that they could decorate their place with.

Eli:

Oh. Tell me more about this wood block idea?

Jane:

That's all. It seemed like you were teasing me about snuggies because you thought my idea was stupid. I don't think it's stupid and I think you misunderstood that I didn't want to get just one.

Eli:

Did you happen to find any that say "Self Control?"  I'm looking for one of those. (For a friend).

Jane:

No. This is so frustrating.

Eli:

I get it Jane. This actually reminds me of this time I tried to buy word blocks for a friend who was getting divorced. But instead of "hope" and "faith," I was looking for blocks that said "despair" and "better luck next time." How frustrated I was when the store had apparently sold out of them, as there were none, and only had a bin full of "it takes a long time to grow old friends" cross-stitched pillows and Wilson Phillips single "Hold On" cassette tapes.

Jane:

Whatever. You think my gift idea was a joke and that's fine.

Eli:

Not at all!!! I think you were totally serious about it!

Jane:

I mean you think it's a lame gift.

Eli:

Oh. In that case, yes.

Jane:

So why do you think it's such a dumb idea?! It's not an uncommon decoration gift . . .

Eli:

Oh, a lot of people joke about wood blocks. But I know a lot of people like them and I just thought maybe you were joking. I don't know you very well, obviously, so I don't know your sense of humor.

Jane:

That's just what I said about snuggies.

Eli:

Really? We must be very similar. My mom told me as a child that I have a twin that went with my dad when they split in 80s. Any chance your dad told you the same story? (For the record, my mom often led me astray. She also told me to stand up to bullies).

Eli:

I always hoped to meet you at summer camp and do a switch-a-roo. Of course since you're a girl, we would have to do more than cut your hair and pierce my ears.

Jane:

I doubt we would have been friends at summer camp.

Eli:

Well obviously not at first! But after getting into trouble for pulling pranks on one another we would have concocted a plan to switch places with the goal of reuniting mom and dad. I also know a great song we could have performed called "Let's Get Together" but we would need go-go boots and a baker's dozen of hula-hoops to do it justice.

Jane:

I bet you're cracking yourself up. My friend showed me the blog. So weird.

Eli:

Oh, now are you talking about my mom blog? I have a confession: I don't actually have kids. I just find photos of trendy looking toddlers online, post their pictures, and then make up stories about all of the cute things they've done like cleaning the bathroom without being asked.

Eli:

Also, occasionally I post about how hard it is to hold a job down at the quarry, attend AA meetings, bathe the Queen of Colors, etc., while raising 5 children. Which is also not true. It's not that hard. Or probably wouldn't be if I was doing those things and had help. Also the Queen of Colors died in a very unfortunate incident involving my sister's hair and a machete in 1987.

Jane:

Huh? I don't know what mom blog you're talking about . . .you know I'm talking about your stranger blog.

Eli:

Sorry! Where are my manners??! It's at eligetstobeamommy!.blogspot.com

Jane:

That link pulls up nothing.

Eli: (About 1.5 hours later--after realizing Jane was actually going to attempt to access the site)

Oh. Try it without the exclamation mark. eligetstobeamommy.blogspot.com

Jane:

Did you seriously create an entire blog as a joke? Where did you get those pictures?

Eli:

Ok. So maybe it's not all "cutsie" like some others out there. I'm a working single mom. It's the best I can do. And it's the only place I can go and talk about the real issues I face. Or the issues I would face if that was really my life.

Jane:

You are so confusing.

Eli:

Check back later. My oldest, Fortify, just wrote the cutest Haiku about me that I hope to post tonight! (Hopefully I post it on my blog before she posts it on hers!).

Jane:

This is all going to end up on your blog again, isn't it . . .

Eli:


Click here to like Stranger on Facebook. And for the Snuggie Texts anniversary post, click here.


~It Just Gets Stranger

226 comments:

  1. Eli - you are a gem on so many levels! We are so proud to know you and call you friend! :-)

    Once again, we laughed until we cried ...and it makes the picture my hubs sent yesterday even more hilarious! We had no idea you were in the middle of talks with Jane at the time. No wonder you asked who sent it!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Where do we vote for your "it's stranger blog" as most funny of 2011?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Eli...just thought that we should tell you that we have been reading your blogs as a "family home evening" activity! How that can be tied to spiritual principles...well, we don't really know? But it sure is funny to read. My wife plays Jane, and I play you. But I know I could never do you justice!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow. I found the texts funny, too, with a twist of guilt. We are all having fun at Jane's expense; she is being publicly ridiculed and humiliated, and that can't be fun. I wouldn't speak up except that if this is held up as proper family night entertainment, you are probably raising bullies. Think it through.

      Delete
    2. Loooooollololloll shut up :)

      Delete
  4. Jane this comment is for you. Are you married? I think you need to go out with Eli. I promise we aren't laughing at you we are laughing at how nice and polite you are. I really like your block idea it's a normal gift. You both need to
    go on Ellen and tell her your story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thats totally how i thought this was going to end! So Jane, give it a shot. it cant hurt!

      Delete
    2. There would be a huge problem if they dated and ended up getting maried. Getting multiple toasters for a wedding gift is typical, and you can sometimes return the duplicate. . . However, in this case I don't think any store would be able to return ALL the "word blocks" and "Snuggies" that you KNOW they would get as wedding gifts. but then again, they'd have a very good inventory to open a snuggy/wordblock outlet store.

      Delete
  5. Jane this comment is for you. Are you married? I think you need to go out with Eli. I promise we aren't laughing at you we are laughing at how nice and polite you are. I really like your block idea it's a normal gift. You both need to
    go on Ellen and tell her your story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with Katie!

      Delete
    2. Me too! I think these guys should date ... could be a match made in heaven ....

      Delete
    3. That's what I thought from right off the bat. : )

      Delete
    4. Nnnoooo!!!!!!

      Delete
    5. Umm, wouldn't that be a form of hell? having a great sense of humor and being with someone who doesn't get it? yes...the answer is yes.

      Delete
    6. OMG, are they dating/married yet??? Sweet Mother of God, please someone tell me! I can't stand it! Is she adopting the kids?!? Fortify could use a real mother figure...

      Delete
    7. I think Eli is so hilarious, too weird I too had a cat named queen of colors that met her dimise with a machete as well, too cool!

      Delete
    8. Yes!!! Please go on a date that would be amazing

      Delete
    9. Just read blog for first time. Laughed till I cried. Eli you must have made your mother crazy and your friends parents eat birth control like pez.

      Delete
    10. Hey Eli, can I get your number? I saw some snuggies with chickens on em in an array of colors!

      Delete
    11. I met my hubby 20 years ago when I dialed a wrong number. Just sayin'

      Delete
    12. I would totally be on board with this idea but I wanna meet Eli!
      <3 this blog very creative and makes me laugh.

      Delete
  6. Jane this comment is for you. Are you married? I think you need to go out with Eli. I promise we aren't laughing at you we are laughing at how nice and polite you are. I really like your block idea it's a normal gift. You both need to
    go on Ellen and tell her your story.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh. My. Gosh. Now I understand why I had no girlfriends during the 3 years that I lived in UT: they have absolutely NO sense of humor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You didn't hang out with me ;-)

      Delete
  8. i am cracking up here!!

    "a baker's dozen of hula-hoops"....

    i'm alex hulme's step-sister-in-law-twice-removed-once-owned-the-same-dog's-uncle's-great-grandma-betty. ok, only part of that is true. you get to guess which part.

    anyway, you're hilarious.

    ***also? Jane, i'm pretty sure Katie has a comment for you. she seems kind of persistent, i'd listen up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha!

      "she seems kind of persistent"

      oh, that was funny

      Delete
  9. 100,000 views! hot dog! after my friend Daniel showed me the link, the next day my cousin in W Virginia suggested I should read a blog, that I'd find it very funny. It was itjustgetsstranger. pretty cool. now I'm going to go learn about how to become a good mom...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Jane honey, you have a very dry sense of humor! And I mean that in the nicest way possible! And Eli, I can't believe you actually made a whole blog just because! That is epic!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love that you created a mommy blog. I think you should keep that one up.

    ReplyDelete
  12. BEST! BLOG! EVER! I want you two to meet one day! And when that happens, you should give her a snuggie of her very own. (Don't knock it till you try it, right!?)

    I certainly hope she texts back again!

    Also, I love your new blog of your life as it would be with kids.

    PS Fortify is a stellar name. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Just found your blog. I'm ecstatic. Amazing, that's all. I can't wait to follow Fortify and the rest of your life musings!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. From one stranger to another, I respect you a whole lot. Keep enjoying life.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think this lady is going to be sad you stole one of her favorite names: http://mycakies.blogspot.com/p/about-me_04.html

    ReplyDelete
  16. Now I feel even worse for Jane. I'm betting she's a freshman. What say ye? And I'm so glad she found your blog, so the laughs could live on.
    p.s. My brother also enjoyed your antics. Right up his alley.

    ReplyDelete
  17. You have to be kidding me. There is no way you are that hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I don't know you, but you are my hero.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jane and I definitely wouldn't have been friends at summer camp. People that can't laugh at themselves make me laugh harder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the more reason to be friends with them. . . .they are funny, accidentally. And laughter is good for the soul, AND your health. A good belly laugh burns more calories, I think crying burns even more, especially if you cry from laughing so hard.

      Delete
  20. You guys have to meet! Please do it!

    ReplyDelete
  21. haha this is so awesome!!! I love that you made a whole new blog too!!! excellent!

    ReplyDelete
  22. The first post was so hilarious I was literally CRYING when I read it, but this is just the cherry on top. Get over yourself Jane! :) It's all good. Thanks for the wonderful laughs! Keep on blogging Eli!

    ReplyDelete
  23. the very best part is the fake (new) blog. so funny.

    ReplyDelete
  24. This is freaking hilarious. Eli, where are you and can I date you? I am only mostly joking.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Thank you Eli! I haven't laughed so much in a long time. Absolutely priceless. I found your blog through my neice's Facebook page and I'll have to send her a thank you present for it.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Loving your new mom blog. A whole other side of you we didn't know about. :) Thanks for the laugh again today.

    ReplyDelete
  27. no comment I say give this post enough justice. Seriously hilarious. Now please, ask this girl on a date, get married and become famous by telling this story on all major news channels and talk shows.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. what he said!!

      Delete
    2. yes, and blog about the divorce that will follow, sighting "irreconcilable humor"

      Delete
    3. Yeah! And then we can get them blocks that say "despair" and "better luck next time!"

      Delete
    4. There would be a huge problem if they dated and ended up getting maried. Getting multiple toasters for a wedding gift is typical, and you can sometimes return the duplicate. . . However, in this case I don't think any store would be able to return ALL the "word blocks" and "Snuggies" that you KNOW they would get as wedding gifts. but then again, they'd have a very good inventory to open a snuggy/wordblock outlet store.

      Delete
  28. I admire your undying dedication to a joke.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Awesome, Eli....I love your mommy blog. I was pretty sad when the writer of seriouslysoblessed.blogspot quit...I missed reading a blog saturated in satire. Yours has risen to the occasion magnificently. I think you should market eli mommy snuggies.

    ReplyDelete
  30. ...HOLY COW--you made a blog for Fortify, too??? THIS IS AWESOME.

    ReplyDelete
  31. This touched me.
    Touched my heart! In a good way!

    Delights. Delights!

    I think a snuggie is just a swell gift idea. Who needs words?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Eli, I have a feeling you and I would be best friends. In fact, if I wasn't already married I'd unleash my flirtatious wiles on you and snatch you right up. Then we could both have trendy kids! Boo ya.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Love the wit. Keep the crazytrain rolling.

    ReplyDelete
  34. My hubby and I laughed til we were crying. I had hoped the laughing hysterics would put me into labor (I'm due any day now)....had I actually gone into labor, not only would you be super funny, but also would possess extraordinary powers...too bad...you'll just have to settle for regular hilarious :-) Both my husband and my brother are amazed at the amount of "female" attention this has generated. Guess that just proves all you really need to find a wife is a bit of humor, a blog, and most importantly: a snuggie (which I'm certain tons of eligible bachelors are running out to purchase as I type in hopes of getting randomly texted so they could employ similar female attracting techniques).

    ReplyDelete
  35. I am totally in love with you!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Wow. You a huge jerk. I am sure everyone who read this thinks you are so cute an clever, but actually you are just mean.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Queen of colors I presume?

      Delete
  37. Wow. You a huge jerk. I am sure everyone who read this thinks you are so cute an clever, but actually you are just mean.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Queen of colors I presume?

      Delete
    2. you suck at life cowardly chicken!!!! get a sense of humor!

      Delete
    3. Chicken man your name says it all

      Delete
  38. Wow!! I am DYING this is so funny! Thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  39. This really is the best blog ever! Thanks for keeping me entertained. :)

    ReplyDelete
  40. to Eli: I don't know but I think I met your long lost twin.

    To Jane: don't feel bad; it was all in good fun. I don't think ill of you at all when reading this blog post. You strike me as a normal, level-headed person who was caught unawares. I would have fallen for it, too. Those people who are saying unkind things about you in these comments are off base.

    to all of you that want to be Eli's friend/roommate/spouse: that kind of creeps me out. Get a life.

    ReplyDelete
  41. To julianaxiodite: Step away from your knitting and get a sense of humor.

    To Eli: You're hillarious! I want to marry you and have your crazy, snuggie wearing children... in a non-creepy stalker way... tee hee :)

    ReplyDelete
  42. Eli, you are awesome! I DO know your long-lost twin, and his name is Cameron. He lived with our family when he was serving his mission a few years ago. I'm sad that he just graduated BYU and went home, because you two would have WAY too much fun together!
    Keep up the awesome blogs!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Eli - don't know how often you check your blog email so just wanted to let you know I sent you an email there.

    Diana! - I believe I know you. You look an awful lot like the Diana (and sister Lisa) I knew 25 years ago.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Thank you. Just thank you. And thank you for linking me to so many wonderful mom blogs, too. I need the support.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Eli Eli Eli! Once again I am sitting in my office (alone) laughing until it hurts! You remind me of my son. Quick witted. I'm a follower on your "mom" blog, so keep making me laugh please! I've also shared your first snuggie post on my blog...hysterical!

    ReplyDelete
  46. So I must admit I found this through a link on Facebook from Patty Cady.....didn't make the connection that I knew you at LCSC until a couple of days later. You are hilarious! Thanks for posting! :)

    ReplyDelete
  47. Two things, Eli:

    1- I could not stop laughing. This is the same Eli I remember from high school. While there are many things that are good for us to change from the time when we were 16, this is not one of them for you.

    2- I was completely surprised that this girl kept texting you and moving on with you. Were you shocked at that?

    If I were her, I would have called you a few choice words, ended with calling you "douche" or "Double-douche" and called it a night. So odd that she defends her present (Which is a nice gift). Didn't she get that she was not talking to the person she thought she was?

    ReplyDelete
  48. Jane -- We have some REALLY important questions in my house. WHAT DID YOU GET BETH FOR HER WEDDING GIFT? Did you ever get a hold of Amanda to figure it out?

    ReplyDelete
  49. I am also a single Mom, let's date :)

    ReplyDelete
  50. After read about this on ksl and then reading through your blog, my husband and i laughed so hard we both had tears! Awesome post!

    ReplyDelete
  51. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Someone probably said this already, but I can't wait for Part III where Eli and Jane get married.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Eli,

    I saw this on KSL and had to come take a look for myself. Awesome, funny, and fun! It would make for a great story though if you two went on a date! Who knows...maybe soon! Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  54. HILARIOUS. I am cracking up over here.

    ReplyDelete
  55. OH Thanks!!!!!!!!!!! I laughed so hard...If you are single I have a daughter:)

    ReplyDelete
  56. ohh I feel like you're my long lost friend. And I also think this blog is going to have me by the ovaries....thanks

    ReplyDelete
  57. Eli, we have never met, and you have no idea about colonoscopies, but you STILL managed to touch my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Wow... Laughed so hard I cried and almost peed. . . TmI? Oh well.. almost peed

    ReplyDelete
  59. Sorry to burst your bubble guys but this is fake.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Eric: if this is fake....then that means Eli is even more awesome to punk hundreds of thousands of people!!!

    Eli: when you two meet, you should set up something that has camera's all around so that you can let us all watch and laugh with you

    Jane: you should consent to meet him, I'm sure he has a sweet spirit, and you two can obviously hold a conversation....but make sure and buy him a block that says "snuggies are forever"

    ReplyDelete
  61. You, sir, are a jerk. But a hilarious jerk. Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
  62. Dear Eli,

    I wanna party with you! I am a fan. You are sooooo funny.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Love this!!!brings back memories of prank calls back in high school. txting wasn't heard of back then, im not even that old!! your genius though. My brother climbs at the quarry. cool place! I want a part 3!! Thanks for the laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  64. I love this! Now I have to go find your mommy blog. I have a mommy blog, but your kids sound way awesomer than mine!

    ReplyDelete
  65. Love your blog! I have this sister-in-law who isn't very socially smart but she is just purely hilarious to watch, I wish she would accidentally text you, you would have tons of fun with her!

    ReplyDelete
  66. I love that you end it with a picture of you trolling her...I just keep waiting to read "you mad bro?" Lol

    ReplyDelete
  67. I love that you end it with a picture of you trolling her...I just keep waiting to read "you mad bro?" Lol

    ReplyDelete
  68. I love that you end it with a picture of you trolling her...I just keep waiting to read "you mad bro?" Lol

    ReplyDelete
  69. She deserves to be screwed with for being such a wet blanket-with-armholes. (Snuggie joke. See what I did there?)

    But seriously, Jane. Get that stick, or wood block(s), out of your arse and come up with some better gift ideas.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Your have an immensely creative brain! Maybe that's why your head is so big?

    ReplyDelete
  71. Holy effing hell, I JUST read the whole thread and spewed water out of my nose! Thank you for being YOU!

    ReplyDelete
  72. Wow. Just... wow...
    So, so awesome!!

    ReplyDelete
  73. HILARIOUS!!!! And way to go the extra mile to make the wonderful mommy blog. Your fake kids could beat up my honor student any day.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Oh - you make me happy to be alive. And happy that someone has found a use for stupid people.

    ReplyDelete
  75. I bet you are an absolute bitch to hang out with. But that was pretty hilarious. Especially creating that other blog just for that added touch of insufferable jerkery.

    ReplyDelete
  76. How did I miss this for an entire month? Priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  77. I was gifted wooden blocks with individual letters spelling FAMILY one year for Christmas. I rearranged them to make new words....YaMILF. Maybe you could go halfsies on something like that. HAHAHA

    ReplyDelete
  78. Loved this! Sounds like Jane needed to be teased.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Jane. Really? You couldn't just play along?

    ReplyDelete
  80. I had a chicken named King of Colors. I wonder what could've happened at chicken summer camp if Queen of colors had survived...

    ReplyDelete
  81. Also, King of Colors loved snuggies...

    ReplyDelete
  82. This was amazing! Sorry, Jane, but you're not the brightest bulb in the pack. Eli, thanks for the laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  83. You are my new internet favorite. I can't stop laughing about the Queen of Colors. Holy cow... poor Jane. :)

    ReplyDelete
  84. I do not know how she didn't get your sense of humor! You are HILARIOUS! I would have had a hoot txting!

    ReplyDelete
  85. Hahaha, this made me and my friends almost pee our pants laughing! What a punk you are! You and your sarcasm! Just keep laughing buddy! Hhehe

    ReplyDelete
  86. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  87. ...I may have just fallen in love...

    ReplyDelete
  88. Thanks for the laughs this afternoon. I really needed them! :)

    ReplyDelete
  89. You are SO awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  90. I think all these peeps are just eli...telling himself how much he loves his blogs and such...that would not surprise me....jk of course :-)

    ReplyDelete
  91. Seriously, I woulda asked you out after this. So dang funny

    ReplyDelete
  92. OMG, I'm crying from laughing. This is awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  93. You are a genius and I'm in tears! I'm going to share this with everyone I know. Thank you for the laugh. She seriously should have asked you to met for coffee, come on Jane! What a crazier story could two people have for becoming life long friends!

    ReplyDelete
  94. wheres janes blog?!

    ReplyDelete
  95. Poor Jane. Even though it's odd she kept texting you after realizing you were a stranger (*if* all this texting did indeed take place), I still feel for Jane. Doesn't sound like she's used to snarky people. I have one son who eats up stuff like this, and another who doesn't get it at all and is frustrated by it. Perhaps Jane is of the latter personality.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Can't...Stop...LAUGHING!
    This is the most amazing thing I've run across all week! SO STINKIN HILARIOUS! LOVE IT!

    ReplyDelete
  97. I want you to know that you are my hero. :')

    ReplyDelete
  98. I like you, Jane. Considering you had no idea, I think you took it all very well. And I think Eli ought to go halfsies on the word blocks.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Brilliant. I actually spit tea on my computer screen.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Oh my gaahhh, I laughed out loud at work so many times.

    The pictures of Eli in the snuggy and in front of the mirror KILLED ME. Dyingggggg laughing.

    Love that Jane texted Eli back (part II). So hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Eli, can we seriously hang out? I'm in SLC as well, and I found this hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  102. I hate June Snapple

    ReplyDelete
  103. OMG best blog EVER written! Eli will you marry me!!!!!!!!??????????? you are hilarious! BTW im like not breathing right now

    ReplyDelete
  104. This actually reminds me of this other blog I know. It's called 27bslash6.com and the level of humor is about the same. I have to admit though, that I prefer the other blog by just a little bit, but that's probably because I knew that one first. But the level of sarcasm is about the same. You should read Simon's complaints. It's absolutely HILARIOUS.

    ReplyDelete
  105. OMG That was really funny! Jane, why do you keep asking a strange person what they think of your wedding gift idea? Whatever, you deserve major credit for not flipping out at this guy. But Eli.......... Are you dating anyone? My God what is your number? I may text you pretending to think it is someone else just to get on the blog. I LOVE YOU ELI:)

    ReplyDelete
  106. Hilarious. Молодец, товарищ.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, mysterious Ukrainian speaker.

      Delete
  107. Actually the best thing ever you two are hilarious !! Jane is clearly not happy about this but its hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  108. BAHAHAHAHAHA this is awesome!!!

    ReplyDelete
  109. I had a similar experience with a wrong number text about a chili cookoff--so funny! I wish I had thought to share it with the world like you did :)

    ReplyDelete
  110. Hey, I'm Jane, please contact me. I want to show u i do have a sense of humor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. P.S. to e-mail and get my new number, send a line to admin@healthy-supplements.net - I got inspired after seeing how much money can be made with a website that I made my own.

      Delete
  111. This made me laugh sooo hard!! I'm usually the one to do that to random people's numbers, it's exciting to realize I'm not the only one who says things like that

    ReplyDelete
  112. Tiz HILARIOUS, I got a GREAT LAUGH, BUT as I read on I will be honest.... this isn't a real conversation... there is no Jane...and .... it just gets stranger....

    ReplyDelete
  113. OMG, this was so funny I laughed till I cried. Even a year later, it's funny!

    ReplyDelete
  114. I want Eli to be my best friend!

    ReplyDelete
  115. This... is the funniest shit I've ever experienced in my entire short adult life. 21 years may not be long, but it's longer than 20. Also longer than 19. Jane, what a trooper. Eli, what a G'dang riot. The mom blog.... classic what the "watermellon you doing" mask. A winner every time.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Eli, you are a god among men. Real or fake, its hilarious. Reminds me of dontevenreply.com keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  117. Will you marry me? Really. I have a huge creepy crush on you right now. Please marry me.

    ReplyDelete
  118. This is too funny. I laughed and laughed. Keep them coming!

    ReplyDelete
  119. Banana I love it lol I am a mommy blogger myself- www.thesmallthings89.com

    ReplyDelete
  120. Oh my gosh. My husband and I just read this and laughed until we cried.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Too funny! Kinda feel sorry for Jane, tho. Nobody likes to be made a fool of...especially in public! Thanks for the laughs Eli...sorry they were at your expense Jane!!

    ReplyDelete
  122. Eli, waaaaay too funny! I don't think I could've done this. My husband on the other hand...You blog made me laugh!!

    ReplyDelete
  123. Funny but i probably would have quit texting waaay before she did. Kidding has its limits.

    And yes, i'd say you do owe her a date. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  124. I think you may owe Jane a snuggie and one word block

    ReplyDelete
  125. Sorry Eli, but I think you are an arsehole. A perfectly nice, polite, well-intentioned person makes an honest dialling mistake and you choose to mock and ridicule them publicly. All they were trying to do was be nice (in the present buying and to you) but you made a conscious decision to take the piss.
    By not calling you out on your ridiculous "snuggies" nonsense they weren't being fooled because they are stupid - they were just not being nasty or mean. You should try it sometime.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I definitely agree that Jane is perfectly nice. Having spoken with her a number of times now, I can say she's actually a pretty wonderful person. And I hope that I haven't led anyone to believe otherwise, or that I think she is stupid. I never thought she was stupid at all. I could have just as easily been duped, and in fact, have. Fortunately Jane has been a very good sport about this and has given many of us a reason to enjoy a good laugh together, and for that I am thankful. Also, I hope that nobody simplifies my entire track record of nasty/nice into a day or two of text-teasing. I'm trying to love my neighbor, too. Thanks for the comment.

      Delete
    2. GET A JOB!!!!!!

      Delete
    3. John, you really ought to read more of Eli's stuff before you make such a harsh judgment. I know him personally and he is one of the kindest people I know. His prank with Jane was all in good fun and there is no way he would have done it if he thought she was being hurt by it.

      Delete
  126. Eli, thanks for this amazing piece of..should I say art? And thanks to Jane for being such a sport about the whole thing! This is just absolutely the funniest thing I've read all year!

    ReplyDelete
  127. Hiiii Eli...... This made me laugh so freaking hard.... And the mysterious Ukrainian speaker was saying good job comrad I think haha .... Be my 'comrad' tooooo!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Translation is correct. I'm just wondering who it is. Not too many Ukrainian speakers around these parts.

      Delete
  128. Don't care if it's real or staged or totally made up (from what I've read I wouldn't put it past you) its hilarious, made me laugh and that's all I care. Seems like something I'd do. But no I was never a twin.

    ReplyDelete
  129. Can I send you an invoice for my tighty whities? I laughed so hard that I actually shat reading the first part of this... then I changed them only to shit myself again reading the second part. But by this point, I was too lazy/entertained to change, so I just dealt with it and eventually doubled up.. I really don't think I can get them clean again, but I'm too poor to buy new ones, so I'll just send you the bill. Oh god, I just shat again while writing this. Maybe I shouldn't have snorted that x-lax but I hate taking anything unless it's in my nose.

    ReplyDelete
  130. It is only 8:45 AM and my day has just been that more awesome because of these posts. HILARIOUS! I am a new follower and will keep coming back!

    ReplyDelete
  131. Eli: not sure whether you prefer sharing snuggies with men or women but if it's the latter I might have a friend for you. Personally, I hope it's the former ;).

    ReplyDelete
  132. Snuggies are a great gift idea. I hope Jane texts back.

    ReplyDelete
  133. I'm impressed with the dedication on both Eli's AND Jane's part. I'm less impressed with Jane because she thought she was dealing with a stranger to go halfsies on a gift...just strikes me as a little cheap.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Thanks that is really funny! I'm still laughing

    ReplyDelete
  135. If any of you buy me blocks of painted wooden inspirational words I swear to the aliens above that I will enjoy every single minute of burning them in my woodstove. I've had it up to here with cutesy quotes and words being pasted on walls and formed out of wood. Come up with something more original and inspiring please. At minimum, get me wooden blocks that are letters only, so I can rearrange them to make more humorous words and sayings. :)

    ReplyDelete
  136. Can I just go on record as saying that I would never want a gift from Jane. It seems like she gives lame gifts, that would instantly find their way into my garbage bin.

    ReplyDelete
  137. I was quite literally crying from laughing so hard while reading this exchange. Thanks for irritating someone that was somehow willing to keep texting. My only regret was the untimely death of the Queen of Colors. May she rest in peace

    ReplyDelete
  138. And...you really went and created another blog. That's dedication.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Uhm - this girl can't be older than 16 or she is dumb as hell... If she's single it's probably within good reason.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Oh my gosh I love it! Your fake child even has a fake poetry blog! You made me laugh so hard I cried at work. Excellent :)

    ReplyDelete
  141. Wait, is Eli LDS and single?!?! I wish it were me that accidentally texted him!!

    ReplyDelete
  142. Ohhhh my gosh. I'm dying laughing. Eli, you're amazing. That was simultaneously the saddest and funniest thing I've ever read. It just went completely over her head... Ahhh, the idiocy. Hi-lar-ious.

    ReplyDelete
  143. Eli, I don't know you... but you are AWESOME! I love this so much

    ReplyDelete
  144. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  145. i love you and this blog so much it makes me sick. and I am also so excited and happy to read your blog about moms as I am a mom and need some ideas about shit to post only own. ha

    ReplyDelete
  146. This is the best entertainment I've had in a while. Sooo sad, right? (Hey, you all aren't far behind. LMFAO)

    ReplyDelete
  147. hehehehe... trolling level=expert

    ReplyDelete
  148. I actually didn't find this funny at all. It is actually quite scary and Eli's dedication to the farce is intensely stalker like and I do feel that Eli should seek some form of psychiatric help. How many psychos out there started like this?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Note to self: never invite Anonymous to a party or any happy occassion.

      Lighten up! And cool it with the snap judgments!

      Delete
  149. this dude is a creeper!!!

    ReplyDelete
  150. I laughed until I snorted out my hose. Thanks a lot, Eli.

    ReplyDelete