Monday, July 9, 2012

Soul Sister Texts

Ever get a text from someone who has accidentally replied all to a mass text sent to you by a friend? My friend Mallory got one several months ago after a friend of hers sent out a mass text announcing her engagement. Mallory got creative and the following conversation ensued:

Dec 26:

Unknown 9:16: Congrats!!!!!!!!!! So happy for you guys.

Mal 9:18: Thanks. We weren't sure anybody knew yet.

Unknown 9:18: Yay I am so happy for you! Been Facebook stalking you all Christmas waiting for that!

Mal 9:21: Well it cost a bit more than expected, but I think the result is what we were looking for. Sure surprised mom though.

Unknown 9:23: Who is this?

Mal 9:26: What do you mean, who is this? Haven't you been texting me all day?

Unknown 9:26: I don't think so. I don't have this number in my phone.

Mal 9:27: Well why did you start texting me in the first place then?

Unknown 9:27: To be fair, this is a Christmas present phone so I only have like 10 numbers in it so far so I don't know who a lot of people are. You texted me and said that it cost a bit more than expected . . .

Mal 9:30: Oh dear. This is a bit awkward then. I thought we were discussing the new piercing I got in my stalking yesterday. I don't usually discuss things like that with just anyone.

Unknown 9:30: Okie dokie. Well good luck with that!

Mal 9:31: Wait, didn't you get one too? I thought we were bonding here.

Unknown 9:32: Years ago. Don't have one anymore. Who is this?

Mal 9:33: The magic might be ruined if I tell you. Can't we just daydream about matching piercings for now?

Unknown 9:33: Is this Joe? Do you know who I am? I am so confused!

Mal 9:39: Joe? Joe who? Joe vs. the Volcano? Joe Schmoe? Joe Stalin? Joe Cocker? Which Joe could you be referring to? Joe Montana? Joe Jonas? Joe's Crab Shack?

Unknown 9:39: Allen.

Mal 9:41: Nope. No Allen here. Can I interest you in a Bob? Or Tom? Maybe even a Ralph?

Unknown 9:42: Joe Allen.

Mall 9:43: Maybe even Joe Mama perhaps?

Unknown 9:43: Ok, I figured out you know Lindsay as well and you somehow texted me. You got the mass text of her engagement.

Mal 9:48: I only responded to a text that you sent me congratulating me on my pending nuptuals (frankly, which I myself was even surprised to find out about). So I am going to make you take the blame on this one.

Unknown 9:55: Ok, I just responded to Lindsay's text. It must have gone to everyone. Sorry my pierced unknown friend. Make sure not to let it get infected!

Mal 9:56: You are so kind to watch out for me! I feel like we are truly soul mates! From now until forever . . .

Unknown 9:57: I will figure out who you are. Until then, I am going to watch MI4.

Mal 9:59: Well how could we stop now? It feels like we have been friends for years. I will cherish these texts in hopes that it will fill the hole in my heart that I didn't even know I had.

Dec. 27

Unknown 11:26: Ok, I know who you are now. Through my powers of deduction I have figured it out.

Mal 11:34: I told you last night that we are soul mates. That's all you needed to know.

Unknown 11:35: You down with having a non-practicing lesbian soul mateship?

Mal 11:36: Oh good. I was worried that I had creeped you out and that you took matters into your own hands.

Unknown 11:37: No, we are good.

Mal 11:37: Ok, now you are going a bit too far. Soul mates as in soul sisters. Let's not get too ridiculous.

Unknown 11:38: Right, I have a husband but not a soul mate. That's where the non practicing lesbian part comes in. But if you prefer soul sisters, that works for me too.

Mal 11:39: Oh this is working out better than I had even hoped. We can connect on a whole new level now that I don't have to worry about providing for you.

Unknown 11:40: Yes, this will be good.

Mal 11:47: Yes it will. We can go skydiving and make tamales and build pillow forts and go extreme chocolate dipping! And the best part is, we can do it all together!!!

Unknown 11:48: Yeah! Except tamales, not a fan. This is good we are learning about each other already.

Mal 11:52 How can you not like tamales? This might be a deal breaker. They are sooo good. Not mention, they are like God's gift to the corn meal world! Plus, I said we were going to make them. Nowhere in there did I say anything about eating them.

Unknown 11:54: Oh ok. We can sell them door to door. Let's start our own business!

Mal 11:56: Please? Can we? I hope this is not a joke cause you know how I hate jokes.

Unknown 11:56: It might be tricky though. I do live in Logan.

Mal 11:58: I see this as an opportunity. Now we just have a larger client base.

Unknown 11:58: Very true.

Mal 12:09: I feel like you are catching the vision now.

Unknown 2:27: Wow!!! That is incredible!!! So gorgeous!

Mal 2:30: You should probably stop replying to all recipients . . .

~It Just Gets Stranger


  1. I could read these all day!

  2. I almost want to text a random number in the hopes that this could happen to me.

  3. Oh my word! Amazing! Just made my day!

  4. Hahaha! This is hilarious, just makes the day better!

  5. Once I received a text from an unknown number just asking how I was. I replied, said fine and who was this? It was a woman who then spent a good 10 mins trying to guess who I was and why she had texted me. Was I the IT guy from work? I gave her my name to which she replied, oh, from roller derby?

    Roller derby? Seriously? That's where you met the last Laura?

  6. the only time this happens to me it turns out badly, so wish it could be funny, my husband actually got death threats from someone, against our whole family! Total BS but this was great!

  7. I just love that she had a sense of humor too!

  8. The texts are definately my favorite!!! Of course I never get texts from the wrong people, just phone calls. Like this lady who calls me occasionally and asks for random people. And the day she called me and said, "I know I sound like I'm on drugs, but I'm just really sick. I've been crapping and puking all day!"
    Oh, the places you could go with that!!!!