Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Yahoo! Answers V

Guys, Yahoo! Answers is finally on to me. I have gotten several emails from them telling me that I have lost "points" for the questions I have asked. They have also started deleting some of them. Apparently someone has started reporting me. I'm sorry that I have some unique concerns about how to make my cats more comfortable at home. Geeze.

Anyway, here's today's batch. I may have to get a new yahoo! I.D. soon. Qofcolors@yahoo isn't going to hold up for much longer.


Question 1: How do you sew your cats together? I've always wanted Siamese cats but I've never had two that I thought would go well together until recently. I would like to attach them to each other but I don't know the first thing about how to do it. Can it be done at home? Is it expensive to have a vet do it?


1. WHAT!? That is not even possible! If you tried to sew your cats together, all it would do is cause them pain!  ~Brolli

2. I find it works better if you quilt them together. It's more comfortable. Just make sure you shave them first.  ~Grands

3. Just don't use yellow thread. It looks TERRIBLE! ~Sornda

4. If you sew them together at the paws, it looks like a cat walking on a mirror. Very interesting way to get the Siamese effect. ~Tyler


Question 2: Do they do kidney transplants for cats? My cat Trixy has been acting super sick lately and I'm really worried. I have a history of kidney problems in my family so I'm wondering if her kidneys might be going out. Are there doctors that will do kidney transplants for cats? I'm also worried that my kidney might be too big for her. Are people kidneys and cat kidneys very different in size?

1. Transplants for animals, if available, are way beyond the means of the average person.  ~WC

2. Yes they do, according to my search online.  ~Conner

3. Why would you be trying to give a kidney to your cat when you don't even know if she needs one? How do you even know if your blood type is compatible? And she isn't related to you so it doesn't matter if you have kidney problems in your family. And NO your kidney will probably not fit in her unless she is really big! Do your research! ~Megs


Question 3: Can they seriously just fire me because of my cats?!?!?! So I work at a fast food place and the sitter that usually watches my cats got sick so I had to bring them to work. I kept them in the back and gave them some stuff to play with. Then my supervisor saw them and FREAKED out. Then she fired me. Can she really do that? Isn't that discrimination for having kids?

1. Do you realize that if the Board of Health came in, your boss and everyone would be fired and the placed CLOSED.  ~Homer

2. Ummm... You brought your pets to work. Not to mention you probably had more than three. Why would you bring them to work to begin with? You can't keep them at home for eight to twelve hours? ~Grant

3. Yes, definitely. You shouldn't have brought them to work. Why couldn't they stay home? they aren't kids. But you can't bring your kids to work either. ~Greer

4. Having animals at any workplace but especially a fast food place is a health risk to customers and staff working there, also a fire hazard. It was a stupid move.  ~Snore


Question 4: Is it safe to eat cat eggs?  Our chicken passed away recently, which means we no longer have eggs. We are hesitant to get another chicken because the last one was really mean. I'm thinking about getting a cat instead but I've never heard of anyone eating cat eggs. Are they safe to eat? And how often to cats produce them?

1. Cats don't lay eggs. They are mammals. They give birth to live young.  ~Molly

2. Have u gone to second grade cats arent birds there furry fluffy fisty mammals smart one.  ~Joey

3. You can only eat the purple ones. Don't eat them if they are blue because they are poisonous! They produce them every 4-6 minutes.  ~Mumbles

4. Did binding your cats together work out nice? What a great rep you must have. -_-  ~Nessa

5. Well engineers all over the world are still baffled by this question today. However after much reaserch i have discovered that they are very deadly. I fed a cat egg to a test subject and the egg hatched in her stomach. i tried to make it into an omelet and the cat that layed the egg yelled at me and said "you took my egg! but omelet you finish eating it in your GRAVE!" So in conclusion stay away from cat eggs. They tore my family apart, killed my test subjects, scared me and raped my dog.  ~Frank

6. When your cat lays an egg, I'll do a back flip naked.  ~Thumber


Question 5: Doing damage by telling my cats about Santa? I have 10-12 cats right now and I've been dressing as Santa to help them get into the Christmas spirit. I'm just wondering if I'm doing damage because when they find out that there is no Santa they might not trust me anymore. Has anyone had a problem with this?

1. NO! Your cats don't know the difference between you and you dressed up in different clothes! All they can do is smell your scent and unless that doesn't smell like Santa then they don't know! ~Molly

2. When mine found out about the Easter bunny, they ate my eyes out in my sleep.  ~Greg

3. I would pay so much money to come to your house and see you dressed as Santa to bring Christmas joy to 12 cats.  ~Brad

4. Why would they find out there is no Santa? ~Jackie



~It Just Gets Stranger

40 comments:

  1. Now my Life is complete. Thank you.

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  2. I am impressed that Greg is able to respond to your questions via Internet after having had his eyes eaten out by his cats.

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    1. That's just what I was thinking!! Ha, ha!

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  3. This made my day! I will be sharing this link - love your blog!

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  4. I am most impressed by Megs' answer. "Do your research!" :-)

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  5. I really wish someone would explain exactly how cats are a fire hazard in the workplace.

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    1. I've been told that cat's tend to spontaneously combust.

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    2. also they can breathe fire when happy, my workplace was recently destroyed by a pack of fire breathing cats

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    3. you trip on them in your mad scramble to get out of the burning building/

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  6. I am laughing so hard right now, I'm going to pee my leggings. Eli, I feel like we were besties in another life. Thanks for sharing!

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  7. There is no Santa? My life is a lie.

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    1. YEA! Eli!! You should really warn your readers before you go ruining lives by revealing these sorts of things. Maybe a "spoiler alert" at the top of a blog?? Be more considerate!

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    2. I've noticed that adults always assume other adults/blog readers/"yahoo answer givers" know about these things. Just because you've lost the magic of your childhood doesn't mean you should ruin it for other people!

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    3. I heard Eli ran into a screening of Twilight, Breaking Dawn, Part 2 and told them all about the surprise ending!

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    4. I heard Eli volunteered to respond to an entire second grade classes letters to Santa and sent them all back an invitation to Santa's funeral and included a pamphlet on the dangers of obesity.

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    5. I heard that Eli is actually a writer on Glee....too far?

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    6. I heard that Eli finds kids who were adopted, tells them, and then adds that Darth Vador is Luke's father, just in case they hadn't already heard.

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    7. I heard that Eli told all the people on the Titanic that it was going to sink before they even got on it.

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    8. I heard Eli told Bruce Willis the ending to The Sixth Sense before Bruce had a chance to finish reading the script.

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    9. I heard Eli was the one who created the so called "Mayan" calendar. He's laughing all by himself while everyone panics about the end of the world.

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    10. Hilarious! I'm crying as I read all these "I heard" stories to my husband

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  8. "but omelet you finish eating it in your GRAVE!" bahah. Oh Frank.

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  9. Has Joey ever been to second grade? That's the real question.

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    1. I was more concerned by his assertion that cats are "fisty" animals. I really don't want to know what he meant by that.

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    2. You have to love that the replies berating the original poster for stupidity always demonstrate the lack of intelligence of the person composing the reply.

      Oh crap. Now what did I just say?

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  10. 10-12 cats.... bahahaha

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  11. It looks like Frank has some personal problems....

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  12. I was wondering how long your luck would hold out with the yahoo questions. You've had a good run, really...

    I can't get over your question about cat/kidney transplants. "I have a history of kidney problems in my family ..." Man, it hurts my heart and makes me shudder when people think of their pets as people. Ha!

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  13. I just know that you are blessed by god! Thanks.

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  14. I LOVE the people that get the joke and play along!

    I also love "Joey" from Question 4 calling you "smart one" when his response has more atrocious grammar than a second grader's.

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  15. http://news.msn.com/us/man-admits-role-in-foiled-cat-related-murder-plot
    ha ha

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  16. www.omegle.com
    Have fun :)))) Do some damage, Eli!! I'm also pretty sure that the site has a "Save this conversation?" button :D

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  17. OMG....I laughed so hard at these that I had tears streaming down my face! God Blessed you with a great sense of humor, thank you for sharing!!

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  18. June, if you answer some questions you can boost your points. Also might want to ask questions about a different cat, they might figure out its you if you keep using Trixy

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  19. You love cats, obviously. Geez, yahoo.

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