Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Gchat with Bob & Cathie

 

My three-way gchat with Bob & Cathie today

Bob: Son. How are you? I have been so worried about you since reading your blog post.

Eli: Oh dad, don't worry about me. I'm doing really well actually. Just trying to be better about talking about my struggles.

Cathie: How's my boy?!?!?! [12 different emoticons]


Eli: Hi mom.

Cathie: [5 more emoticons]

Bob: Do you know what the signs of depression are? Loss of appetite? Increased appetite? Loss of interest? Suicide?

Cathie: Whatever you do don't commit suicide!

Eli: Seriously guys. I'm not going to commit suicide.

Cathie: Do you need us to come down there and get you!? Or could I just send a Valentine's Day package instead?

Eli: Mom, those aren't even close to being in the same category of alternatives. But you don't need to do either. I appreciate the thought.

Bob: Irritability? Decreased concentration?

Cathie: Of course I have to send a Valentine's package!!! You're my little sweety pie!!! [6 more emoticons]

Bob: Do you have any friends? Are you and Daniel getting along? Is he depressed too?

Eli: Nobody is depressed. Seriously. Everything is fine. Yes I have friends.

Cathie: Can you name them for us?

Bob: . . .

Eli: Are you guys questioning me? Do YOU have any friends?

Cathie: I have lots of friends! I'm popular! Just like the song in Wicked! Dad has friends too but not as many as me.

Bob: It's ok that you don't have any friends because you can always count on B O B and momma C!

Eli: Dad, have you been watching MTV again?

Bob: I got to know how JZ and Pink and all my other peops are doing!

Cathie: Is Daniel doing ok? Can you hang out with his friends?

Eli: Daniel and I have the same friends. And yes, he's doing very well. He doesn't get as stir crazy as I do.

Cathie: That's because you are high maintenance and he's what you kids call "hang loose." [several more emoticons].

Bob: Can Daniel help you make friends and be a little less high maintenance?

Eli: Guys. I appreciate the concern. I may be high maintenance but I DO have friends. Your son has friends.

Cathie: Ok. Wink wink. We believe you.

Bob: Alright son. Sure you have friends. Suuuuuuuure.

Eli: I think I'm being cyberbullied right now.

Cathie: [crying emoticon] What are you going to do? Cry about it?!?!?!

Bob: cyberbully definition

Cathie: . . . ?

Eli: . . . ?

Eli: Dad, are you trying to google something? You know you can't just type your search term in the chat box.

Bob: Is google the same as search?

Cathie: Oh brother. You see what I have to live with? You need to type it in the google search box Bob.

Bob: Is that the one on the top?

Cathie: Here. Let me do it.

Eli: Wait. Are you guys in the same room?

Cathie: Yes.

Eli: Why are you gchatting with each other then? That's not even lazy. That's MORE work.

Bob: This e-technology stuff is great. Even 5 years ago we couldn't have communicated like this.

Eli: Ummm . . .

Cathie: We need to go. We're teaching English classes tonight to the refugees. But we love you!!!!! [heart emoticon]

Bob: TTYL

Cathie: XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXxxOOXxoxXOO!!!!

Bob: Be safe.

Cathie: And remember, no one likes a frowny face. Change it to a smile! Turn that frown right upside down and smile all the while!

Bob: And take a Prozac if you need it.

Cathie: Only if you need a good time.

Bob: Love you.

Cathie: HUGS!!!!

Eli: Love you, too. And as usual, gchatting with you has been . . . confusing.

~It Just Gets Stranger

21 comments:

  1. I'd like to honorarily adopt your parents. Unless we can come to some sort of shared custody agreement.

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  2. Bob and Cathie need their own reality show.. Love them!

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  3. Replies
    1. Daniel is a fictional character from the movie " Harry and the Hendersons". He most famously remembered for being the only male protagonist in the movie to successfully interpret the complexities of the cuil theory, which in turn spawned the sequel movie "Daniel and the Hendersons"

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    2. Wait, were you talking about Eli's friend Daniel?

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  4. Yea let your Mom & Dad know that I am open for adoption (as a sister to you, not to replace). I come with a Grandson for them. That will totally get them off your back. [12 different emoticons]
    They sound confusing but well meaning. [heart emoticon]

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  5. I love how his dad tries to Google cyber bully definition!!! AWESOME!!!

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  6. oh crud,I am laughing so hard my tummy hurts, my kids are looking at me like i am crazy, and i have had to retype this a few times. oh wow

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  7. You may just have the most awesome parents on the planet.

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  8. haha valentines packages are the best! even well into your 20's. that part made me laugh so hard because my mom totally still does that

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  9. Parents can be so funny. I hope to be just as silly and well meaning when my kids are grown.
    Next time, just tell them you have us!
    Your strangers. And snuggies, and borsch, and Daniel (who is not just a good friend, he's a great friend). Oh and you're also working on being a patient and interesting person who can count change really fast.
    Your blog is a great way to start the day.

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  10. I love your parents. Considering I'm basically the same age they are, I'm probably too old to adopt but maybe I can be the neighbor who breezes in and out of the house at will and everybody loves. Not the annoying one, the one on the other side.

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  11. Hahahahahahha! This can't be the actual conversation! It can't be real! Haha!

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  12. Your parents should just go ahead and adopt me too. We could be the world's biggest family

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  13. My mom still gets me valentine presents, even when I tell her I don't need anything. I am thinking she thinks I might be depressed if I don't get anything and others are.... You know cause I am single. It makes me laugh. Your parents are so many kinds of crazy and awesome, I like to call it cra-some.

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  14. This blog needs more Bob and Cathie.

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  15. Eli.... :) ;) GREAT BLOG!!! Hilarious and sad to say - so true!. You have got us pegged! :) You forgot to include one of my best lines from our little chat-chat last night. It was...."Would you like me to send you the game.... "Monopoly" so you will feel like you are in a big city when you play it?" :) :) and Dad said to tell you, "You're killing me Scchhmmaaaltzzzz." Whatever that means....hehehehehe. :) ;) XoxoxoXo

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  16. oh yeah...and I could provide you with a better picture of us. :) ;) XoxoXoxoxoxo

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  17. ....and you do KNOW that we come from a long line of over-reactors...especially on the "Whittle" side. :) :) hehehehhahahaha Love you, Cathie/Mom :)

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  18. I live for when your mom comments on your blog :-).

    And your dad.... You're killing me Smalls! Truly awesome.

    I've got great parents, so can I have Bob and Cathie for my Aunt and Uncle?

    Hang in there, Eli. Someday you'll look back at these days as the best of your life... how encouraging is that? :-) :-)

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  19. Bob & Cathie are awesome! I want to keep my parents though, so how about you & I get married so they can be my in-laws? [12 emoticons] :) hahaha

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