Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The Magical Mystery Tour

As part of my duties with the Supreme Court of Palau, I handle recruiting for the next set of three court counsel to replace the three of us who are currently here until the end of the summer. As a result, large stacks of applications are dropped onto my desk every morning so I can dig through them and look for particularly promising applicants to recommend for the court to interview.

This task can become a little daunting so to liven it up I have started reading all of the cover letters out loud in a provocative voice. It makes each one sound a lot more interesting. Skeptical? Try reading the rest of this post that way. You will not be disappointed.

Having applied for exactly 1,000,000 jobs in the last 4 or 5 years, including this very position, I definitely do not relish in the thought that we must decline so many wonderful people. Every time I place an applicant in the rejection pile, I find myself saying things out loud like, "I'm sorry Sally! I wish I could take you in! We just don't have room for everyone!" And ohmygosh I think I finally understand how cat hoarders feel!

I'm in the process of applying for jobs myself now since my experience in Palau will be coming to an end before too long. So far trying to network with law firms, or whomever, from a tiny dot in the middle of the Pacific Ocean has felt exactly like online dating. Not that I know what that's like. Not that I think there is anything wrong with knowing what that's like. Not that I think there was any implication that there was anything wrong with knowing what that's like. Not that . . . oh my gosh look A BIRD!

To help the job search process along, I have decided to make a quick trip to the U.S. at the end of April. Thanks to the help of a few very good friends, I have been able to establish some contacts with offices that I'll be meeting with at that time. I'll be visiting Salt Lake City and Washington D.C. And if any of you out there are connected with any law offices in either of those two cities who are hiring or would be willing to meet with me on my U.S. tour, please let me know. There may be a kitten Snuggie with an embroidered "1 + 1 = furrrever" in it for you if I do find a job through you. Shameless plug, I know. But whatever. If I somehow end up finding my next job through this post I will be living proof that one can find employment by blogging about cats and Snuggies for five years.

Take that, Bob and Cathie

By the way, we need to come up with a catchy name for this April tour. I WON'T COME WITHOUT A CATCHY NAME. Any suggestions out there?

Oh, and for those of you who are still reading this in a provocative voice----I hope you have a very steamy day.

~It Just Gets Stranger

36 comments:

  1. The "I can get a job through a blog tour?"
    Or " There's never just one having fun."
    Maybe, "I hate cats U.S.A!"
    Perhaps, "don't like dogs blog tour"
    Consider, "Eat cats, Love me, pray we... don't get eaten by the queen."
    And there is always, (in a provocative voice) "D.C. 2013"
    Don't forget, "Salt Lake to D.C. like a baby! (ain't it catchy?)"
    Then, "Catch a flying queen and set on a kitty, hope it doesn't get away." (singing sounds better)
    Oh I don't know! Just call it a "Stranger tour then ever before?"
    Make up your mind Mr.!

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    Replies
    1. I like "Stranger tour than ever before." Also goes well with the provocative voice.

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  2. Hello! I am new to your blog :) I just felt like saying hello and maybe pointing out that you had (unconsciously?) already named your tour The Magical Mystery Tour. If all else fails that's a pretty good back up name.

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  3. I have a friend who has interned the crap out of DC. Not specifically in law, but she did work for some kind of young republicans thing. I don't know. Anyway, I'll ask her and if it leads to anything useful I'll email you!

    I'm also heading back to the States in April, and will be popping into DC briefly before going home to Seattle! And I am also job-hunting, as I am almost done with grad school. STOP STALKING ME ELI.

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    Replies
    1. How about "The Stranger's Stalking Interview Tour of 2013" ..... eh?! I like it. :)

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  4. Twice up the Barrel Tour
    Eli's Enterprising Escapade
    Star Trek Wars IV: Coming Home
    Hire Me, Handsome!
    Magical Meowstery Tour

    Good luck!!

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    Replies
    1. All of these are winners in my book! Maybe you could call it the "Winner Winner Chicken Dinner" Tour? And stop by Texas please. ;-)

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  5. Can we use Stranger to help me find an accounting job in Kansas City as well? Thanks.

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  6. How about one of these:
    Stranger in a Strange Land
    Interview with a Stranger
    Eli goes to Washington

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  7. The Stranger than Your Tour
    The "I Love You, Please Hire Me" Tour
    The "Prove my Parents Wrong" Tour

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  8. I've realized that I need to work on my provocative voice after reading this!

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  9. If you're planning to couch surf, I have a couch available in Indiana. Sure it would be a long commute to D.C. job interviews, but hey, free lodging.

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  10. "Does This Snuggie Make Me Look Fat World Tour"

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  11. Thanks for that whole provocative voice thing. I now have 3 cats, a hairy dog and a very sketchy looking maintenance man looking hopefully in my apartment window.

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  12. How about the "New Sneakers and Fresh Fruit" tour?

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  13. "I am... Sasha Fierce: Eli McCann Edition US Tour"

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  14. How about-
    The Extermination of all Sea Creatures ('cept turtles)so I can Swim Peacefully Tour

    Rather lengthy but prudent

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  15. Um, the "Twice up the barrel, once down the side" tour. Come on, Eli. That's so obvious!

    Just messing!

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  16. Reading in a provocative voice gave your line, "Having applied for exactly 1,000,000 jobs in the last 4 or 5 years, including this very position, I definitely do not relish in the thought that we must decline so many wonderful people" a whole new meaning, Eli. I'm not trying to be dirty; it was your idea!

    Anyway, next time I get bored with necessary reading, I'm going to use the provocative voice. I may retain nothing, but at least I won't fall asleep. And sometimes, that's all you can ask for, am I right? Twice up the barrel, once down the side, if you know what I mean...

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  17. Not even related to today's post. However, since you enjoy playing Harry potter at the beach, I thought you'd appreciate this. http://themetapicture.com/superpowers/

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    Replies
    1. http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2013/01/08/3665972.htm
      Now this is playing Harry Potter at the Beach!

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  18. will you come visit us all while you're here?

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  19. Hey I live near DC - what kind of law are you interested in?

    Probably you should make a event (like a happy hour) for yourself so we can all come meet you on your Barrel of Strangers tour!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm looking into litigation practice or possibly some kind of international practice.

      I will definitely consider doing some kind of get together with Strangers. It will depend on how much time I have. It would be fun to meet some people!

      Delete
  20. Did you know that today is international "Read Aloud Day" - Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read something aloud other than children's stories...

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  21. All I have to say is... you better recommend me.

    And if you don't I'll probably hate you furever.

    But you better recommend me.

    That's all I'm saying.

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  22. Job hunting is THE WORST. Good luck! Too bad you're not considering Los Angeles because I know a couple guys...

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  23. The "we get to see Eli in Salt Lake" tour? Boring, I know but J and M and A would really like it.

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  24. Aren't you starting a bit late? It took me 6 months to find my current job - it's a terrible market right now! But, hey! No extra pressure or anything...

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  25. I know of a place in Missouri that is a fantastic law firm... but that is not exactly in Salt Lake or Washington DC. And I think it should be called the *Twice Down the barrel once down the side tour*

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  26. The "There Are No Sea Snakes Here" Tour......

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  27. Pop up to Ottawa, Canada. If you want to confuse your body real good, leave steamy Palau and spend next Winter here. Your freckles might just fade away under the layers and layers of clothing you must wear to avoid turning into a popsicle.

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  28. "The Stranger Stalkers World Tour" (insert heavy breathing)
    Not that I would ACTUALLY stalk you...so, when you coming back to Utah? ;)

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  29. You need to make a stop in ND to look for a job, Eli. Our economy is flourishing up here because of all of the black liquid gold. We can train for ragnar AND I obviously have the hook up to make custom snuggies!!!

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  30. I was feeling guilty reading it in a provocative voice, so I gave it up...

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