Friday, April 26, 2013

An Evening with Jolyn


Ok, first of all, I know! Today is supposed to be a pictures and distractions post. I know the schedule guys. I'm the one who created it. And now I'm practically ruining your childhoods. Even though your childhoods have already happened for most of you. I'm basically going back in time and ruining them for you. I'm heading back to Palau in 2 days. I promise I'll get back on schedule next week. It's been a little crazy around here lately.

Late last night I met Jolyn at a coffee shop in Salt Lake City. I believe that someone should probably try to pass a piece of legislation that makes our meeting up with one another illegal. Every time I spend what should be a pleasant evening with Jolyn, I end up waking up the next morning screaming as everything that happened finally hits me.

Jolyn suggested that we play truth or dare at the coffee shop, which just ended up being a game of "dare" because neither of us really care to find out any information about one another. We went to Facebook to ask you if you had any good ideas and within seconds the answers came pouring in. I can't believe so many of you were up so late on a school night!

Some of the dares would have gotten us beat up or arrested. So we thought we would work up to those.

Jolyn hopped up onto a chair and did the chicken dance.


Then I creeped over to the next table to take a sip out of this man's cup.


This guy mostly seemed weirded out by us. And I don't understand why? But he did later ask us if we would invite him to one of our parties sometime.

I hate how much we get hit on in coffee shops.

We did a few other things, including eating many packets of sugar, attempting to get behind the counter to take a customer order (this did NOT go well), and approaching two D-list celebrities I spotted right when we got there and trying to maintain a conversation with them for more than 5 minutes while staring at their foreheads the whole time.

Eventually the place closed and Jolyn and I decided to spend the next hour of our lives stalking I mean finding out where the D-list celebrities live I mean going for a pleasant drive through some neighborhoods. This involved the running of many red lights and the screaming of many things such as, "THAT'S THEM GETTING INTO THE CAR! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"

Eventually our attention was captured by one house we passed, whose front window looked like this:


~It Just Gets Stranger

26 comments:

  1. so I was going to log off just as you were posting about getting dares on facebook.
    I remember thinking, as I shut down my laptop, "dear God, I hope the people in that coffee shop survive the night..."
    I'm glad to see that my prayers were (mostly) answered ;)

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  2. So much amazing. I love the guy who wanted to join your party.

    Also, is there something about Mormon country and weird creepy dolls?! My friend lives in Idaho Falls and I guess people bring life-sized dolls to Denny's so they don't have to eat alone.

    Or maybe it's just that awesome people in Mormon country experience crazy things?

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    1. There is also a heart warming movie called "Lars and the real girl." It's set in a small Canadian town. Some people just need a companion and this town does a great job of coming together to support Lars.

      I don't remember Mormons being mentioned in the movie, but Canadians are every bit as nice. I don't remember a Denny's either. Can someone please go Google Denny's in Canada for me?

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    2. I'm 1/4 Canadian and I live just a few hours south of Vancouver. I should know stuff like that. But I don't.

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    3. For you, fellow anon. http://www.dennys.ca/ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denny's http://locations.dennys.com/

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  3. What that picture doesn't show is my face behind the curtain. Watching you. Memorizing your license plate tag. Drawing the outline your face onto my memory pad which some people like to call a brain.

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  4. Hahahahaha sounds like the best night ever!!!!!!!

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  5. I'm terrified of dolls. Thanks Eli!

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  6. Also, Eli, your hair does look amazing and you don't look fat at all! You're still the hottie with the body!

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  7. Oh late night antics are the best. I live in the country, so the shenanigan possibilities are endless. With my crew, booze is ALWAYS involved and we always end up at Denny's diner at 4am. Good times

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  8. Yeah, I live in Utah now and the doll thing creeps me out. There's a man down the street that dresses up large dolls and mannequins in clothes and masks to suit his mood. Creepy as all get out. Down South it was just rusty cars and old dogs. Weird...

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  9. I say this counts. There were pictures and I was distracted. Done and done. So happy I got to meet you at The Porch!

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  10. This made my day! You guys remind me of me and my friend back in the day. I miss those days. You make me happy!

    Also? My captcha was "unruly hydrochloric" hmmmmm, another dare?

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  11. Also, please give hints as to who the D list celebs were!

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    1. Yeah, who were the d list celebs you saw

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  12. So does your maturity level drop when you're with Jolyn or does hers drop when she's with you? Or both? I ask because last night when I saw those updates on the Stranger page, I was wondering what you were trying to accomplish.

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  13. You want to talk about late night antics. I have a story to tell. Happened to me just last night. I'm amazed I even remember it. See, this story also happens to be what my husband and I have come to call "Ambien moments". I take Ambien at bed to help me sleep, other wise I can't sleep at all. And, as I'm sure Eli can attest to, Ambien induces you to do some pretty strange and off the wall things. So, as usual I took my Ambien. Now it takes quite a while for it to actually kick in and I was in need of a shower. I decided that it would be the perfect time to take a shower, that was mistake number one. While in the shower, the Ambien kicked in. Mistake number two was when I looked down and realized that I was starting to look like an amazon woman because it had been so long since I had shaved. And even though I was staggering around like a drunk I figured it was a good time and place to shave. And that's where the fun began. I ended up losing my balance and falling with an almighty crash out of the shower. I took down the shower curtains with me. The really unfortunate and what I consider the funniest part of the story is when my husband came in to help peel me up off the floor.... to our horror...... we discovered..... that the fall had LITERALLY knocked the crap out of me. Needless to say we had a mess to clean up. I am very sore today but the problem is that I can't seem to keep from hysterically laughing every time I think about last night. Why am I finding this so funny!!!!!

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    1. It's funny, cuz you had a weird bonding moment with your hubby and you can laugh about it, I always laugh about what I do. No Reason to get embarrassed. Thanks for sharing your story made me LOL

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  14. Was that man drinking coffee? Tsk, tsk, Eli, tsk tsk. Also, I'm reading Night for history right now, and I can't help but picture the young Elie Wiesel as a small, starved version of you.

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  15. I am pretty sure that is the Queen of Colors' house.

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  16. You two would be the cutest couple!

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  17. I'm cancelling my contract with the alarm company and placing creepy illuminated dolls in my front window instead! Brilliant!

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  18. This makes every night out I've ever had look utterly and completely boring.

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  19. I read your post and laughed. Then I had the disconcerting revelation that I don't know the chicken dance. If I were ever dared to do it, I wouldn't even know how to. I'm now going to add "learn the chicken dance" to my lists of things to do while procrastinating studying for finals next week.

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