Sunday, April 14, 2013

Back in the U.S. of A.

I need to be quick today because I have spent 987 of the last 72 hours on planes and I am CRANKY. Ok, not really that cranky. Because I stopped sweating for the first time in 6 months. And how can you be cranky when you've stopped sweating for the first time in 6 months?

The trip from Palau to Salt Lake City went without too much drama, although it did require 4 flights, 3 long layovers, 2 days, and a partridge in a pear tree.

When I got to the airport in Salt Lake, I immediately started shivering and I have not stopped since.

About 38 seconds after landing, I messaged my sister Krishelle and demanded that she escort me to the nearest mall where we wandered for 3 hours just staring at all the stuff that there is to buy in this wonderful world.

Stuff is incredible. Guys. Don't take stuff for granted.


Anyway, Sunday was a very strange day. I attended church with Bob and Cathie in the morning and Mitt and Ann Romney just happened to be visiting that congregation for the day. I got to meet them briefly, which was so weird because I don't think I've ever met a famous person before. And I think one should not reach the age of 28 without meeting a famous person.

Anyway, I recognized as soon as I met them that I needed to suppress the urge to immediately tell this to everyone I know because all of my friends in Palau who aren't Mormons really don't need another thing to perpetuate the idea that all Mormons in the world know each other.

But whatever. I met famous people. And it was exciting. And they were charming and sweet. And their hair and skin looked impossibly flawless. And I tried to get them to take me home with them. But they heard me in the back of the car and kicked me out at the next stop light.

Sunday evening I was interviewed by two hysterical ladies who have a radio show they broadcast once a week. Check them out if you've got some time to kill. The recording of the show is here. I come in in the second hour of the broadcast.

And one last thing, tickets are up for The Porch's show, which is this Thursday evening. You can find those here. I understand that the last couple of shows have sold out online a day or two in advance so if you really plan on coming, you may want to get your tickets now. And if you do come, be sure to hang around after and say hello and tell me what a great job I did and how I totally don't look like I've gained 23 pounds since moving to Palau and how that zit growing on the side of my neck that is the size of a fist is hardly noticeable even though when I was leaving Palau Daniel told me he hoped I didn't have to purchase an extra ticket for it on any of my flights.

~It Just Gets Stranger

18 comments:

  1. What makes your friends think that all the Mormons in the world know each other?

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    1. All Mormons in the world DO know each other.

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    2. Somehow I've been left out of the circle of the world's Mormons...

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  2. All Mormons don't know each other? ;-)

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  3. Bah ha ha! I am one of those people who believes that all Mormon people know each other. In my experience its been mostly true, and the times it wasn't true they either knew of the other person or had a cousin who knew them.
    I am really impressed that Mitt and Ann came out for the "Twice up the Barrel" tour. Your blog is really spreading!
    I wish I could see your show at "The Porch", sadly I am in Texas. I know it'll be great and I hope someone records it.
    I am sure your cheek zit isn't that bad. Daniel is just gonna miss you and was jealous of the stuff you'll get to see in the States. Yay stuff!!

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  4. I totally want to go to the show at the porch, but I live in Logan and have mandatory meetings at my day job that afternoon that I can't beg out of. If there was any way to make that three hour drive in one hour drive I'd totally be there...totally. *sigh* I guess there's nothing for it but to twice up the barrel and once down the side.

    PS - All mormons know each other, it's our super power.

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  5. I personally know all 14 million of the other Mormons out there in the world. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

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  6. I am Canadian and Americans often think that all Canadians know every other Canadian. Sometimes when I tell people I live in Montreal, they ask me if I know their friend/cousin/old neighbour who lives in Vancouver. They don't always realize how far apart those two cities are :)

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    1. Hey Wendi, my son is serving his mission in Vancouver! Do you know him? ;)

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  7. They've got it wrong... all mormons don't know each other, we're just all *related* to each other. Just try to do your family history folks. Y'all will discover some shirttail mormon relative did all the easy stuff. Stinkin' second cousins fifty times removed, but still related.

    Happy job hunting, Eli!

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  8. Thank you thank you for making my day, I laughed out loud reading this. Again.

    My sons and I were going to come to The Porch, driving all the way down from Tooele (try to pronounce that, non-Utahns!) BUT the oldest one is most likely receiving his LDS mission call that day, so I will be alternately calling people and weeping all evening. I hope someone Youtubes your show for us so we can enjoy it later.

    Have an awesome trip!!

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  9. be sure to have someone record it for all the non-utahns who don't want to drive 14 hours through a snocolypse! I know, I really should be more committed. anyway, you'll do great

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  10. Eli, I'm SUPER bummed! I wanted to go to your show, but I'll be in Vegas for my grandpas funeral...maybe next time :(

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  11. I just listened to the radio show. I can't promise a billboard, but I can embroider a snuggie with "I'm a Mormon cat hoarder" on the back!

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  12. ELI!!! i will be at your show. my friend and i already bought our tickets and have made arrangements to wear snuggies, assuming that a snuggie is required dress code. so excited! this will be my first celebrity sighting.

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  13. I'm glad your plane didn't crash AND that the Romneys were nice. They seem like they would be, but you never know...

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  14. So, living in small town Hannibal Missouri we have one grocery store plus Walmart. I know it's tons better than where you're at, but today I went to a large grocery chain in a bigger town and I marveled at all the rows of stuff--all neat and organized, and there were associates all over to ask questions to, and there were people in the meat department and they looked friendly, and I was a little sad that I don't have a beautiful large grocery store like that where I live. :) I'm glad you got to drool over all the 'stuff' America has to offer!
    Wish I could be there for Brea's wedding and see you too!

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