Sunday, April 21, 2013

Search Party

Guys. I know. I'm the worst person you've ever not met. I can't believe I've gone a few days without checking in. You've probably all been wondering if I'm dead. Have you sent a search party out for me? If you did, it's not a very good one. Because I haven't been hiding at all and they still haven't found me. And they seriously should have just contacted my family because my family knew right where I was the whole time. I think you should look into getting a different search party. However much you're paying this one, it's too much.

But I'm not dead. Trust me. If I was dead, you would hear about it. Because when I die, it's going to make national headlines. Not because I'm famous, but because I will die doing something incredibly weird. Mark. My. Words.

The reason I haven't checked in is because the Twice Up the Barrel Tour in the United States has been very full of . . . everything. And I just haven't quite found the time or energy.



I'm going to make the worst parent one day if someone ever leaves a baby on my doorstep. Because I'll be all "let's wake up at 5:00 every day and build a tree house together while learning Latin!" for like 3 weeks and then one day I'll get tired and just stop feeding the kid.

This week has been a roller coaster. Lots of great things have happened. I have reconnected with so many incredible friends that I have missed dearly. The family time has been invaluable. And on Thursday we had a great time at The Porch. So many of you showed up and it was wonderful to get to meet you and see your cat Snuggies and looks of disapproval for my thoughts on vague Facebook posting. But all you did was shake your heads in shame and say, "this is the most mad I've ever been--never trusting anyone again" so I wasn't really sure what you were mad about specifically. Anyway, we should have the video of the thing up soon, if I can get Jolyn to post it.

Jolyn? Are you alive? It's very uncomfortable when you have been quiet for too long. I'm going to send a search party out for you. I don't know anyone who has found a good one yet though so I'm going to have to look up reviews online.

My flight to DC was scheduled to leave late Saturday evening. Over the prior few days a whole bunch of very unexpected things happened that made me question whether it was worth all the effort to trek across the country. To add to that, some other things left me feeling more worn down than I can remember feeling in a long time. I won't go into detail on this, but will just say that it made for a bumpy 72 hours. And when Saturday afternoon came, I was still doing a cost/benefit analysis about whether it was worth putting myself through that trip.

I had a wedding reception to run to that evening and I knew when I left the reception that I had to make a decision during the drive back to Bob and Cathie's house. Partly because of extreme fatigue and a good amount of stress that had built up during the week, this decision seemed like life and death. And I suddenly found myself bolting down the freeway on the verge of tears and in a very indecisive place, which I don't let happen too often.

I'm a holy roller so I turned to prayer and in so doing, I felt like I received a pretty good answer. So with a few hours until takeoff, I decided to forgo the trip. I capped the night off with a much needed late night tea chat with my very close friends Anna and Emma, who always seem to make all my stresses go away.

Here I am now, a day later, much more rested, and thinking far more clearly. And I'm relieved to say that I still feel like it was the right decision. I may never know for sure. But that's the way things usually go. And part of living a life of peace is learning not to worry about that too much. Because what good does it do to worry about something you may never know?

Big week ahead now. And I promise not to abandon you again. Because that was just plain mean. And you've never done such a thing to me.

~It Just Gets Stranger

19 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh. I wasn't really thinking that you were dead. I was thinking something more like, "Holy cow. How selfish is Eli?! Because he's in America with his family, he can't let his strangers know what's going on?" But, it's whatever. I'm a totally understanding person.

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  2. I forgot to tell you on Thursday that you look so skinny, you did great and your skin looked flawless.

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  3. We missed you.

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  4. I missed you, Eli!! Welcome back. ;)

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  5. Wait. So is Daniel still in Palau? You should probably head back soon, since you've taken all of his clothes with you to America...

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  6. So glad you're back! I almost got on facebook to look for you, because I was a little worried, but mostly just bored and curious and wanting to remind you of your self appointed duties. Hee hee duties.
    I missed you and I am sure I can speak for other strangers when I say we all missed you!

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  7. Phew! Thanks Eli. <3
    -Aubrey

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  8. It's probably for the better you skipped DC. You probably would have been offered some AMAZING lawyer job and become too busy to post hilarious blog entries to keep all of us entertained. And even though just acquaintances, I think of you as a friend and like to think I'll see ya around the SLC when the adventures in Palau end.
    Amanda Kirk

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  9. Well darn...I was pretty sure that you were in my town because I could have sworn I saw you. But since you were not, I can safely say that you have an awesome doppelganger in Central VA.

    I have been wondering about you, but since I saw no one asking about you, I didn't want to be the one stupid one to ask.

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  10. Ahh, that's too bad about the Washington, D.C. leg of the 'Twice Up the Barrel Tour' being put off (for now). Hope you're able to make it out this way another time.
    - AD

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  11. I'm glad that your evening at the Porch went well. I'm so sorry I couldn't make it. I know, I'm the worst friend you've only ever met once!!! But, it's finals week, so I've been busy preparing for the worst week of my life. If it makes up for anything, I was so worried when I didn't hear from you at all for several days! I put off some of my studying to personally search for you to make sure that some evil minded blogger didn't take you away to force you to come up with good material for their crappy blog. Anyway, glad you're safe! Just don't scare me like that next time :)

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  12. I'm glad things are going well.

    And I'm really glad you still feel good about your decision not to go to DC. Because that would have sucked to regret it later.

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  13. I'm so glad you're back!
    I confess to checking your blog 8 times every day... I missed you. :P

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  14. Okay, yes, I was a little worried but I thought about you yesterday and then I realized it was Sunday so then I thought, well, Eli is a good church going guy so he is probably not going to be in touch on a Sunday...then I stopped worrying thinking you were safely at church. I hope you don't worry about that flight not taken, life will be full of forks in the road so to speak and I find it best to not look back once I have made a choice but to keep looking ahead in the direction I have chosen. The things we don't choose can always look so much better in hindsight but the reality is we just THINK it would've/could've been better but there is no proof of that. Like many others here, I only had to check on you about 10 times today. So. Glad all is well.

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  15. Wow big decision forgoing that trip! I don't know if I could have done that. But when you know, you know, you know? And its a comfort to know that I am not the only fully grown human being freaking out and bawling while driving down the freeway (which may or may not have happened this week).

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  16. So happy you're back to distract me from the work I should be doing. :)

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  17. I just read your vague Facebook posts letter (brilliant, btw). I was wondering, do you have a fake Facebook? Because if you don't, you need to get one. Just add random people. Lots of people will accept requests from strangers! You should do it, then post really weird things on your page and reply to their posts in really strange ways.

    ~EFA

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  18. What does your twice up the barrel saying mean? Always been curious.

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