Monday, July 29, 2013

The iTunes

A very terrible thing happened to me. I owned one of those what the kids are calling "the ipods" and it is now missing. I left it at the massage place on Saturday because I was in a really big hurry to get out of there like I always am because NUDITY. Well in my hurry, I left the ipod under the massage table.

I called them on Monday to see if they had it.

Filipino Woman: Ok sir. I check it is under the table.

Eli: Oh! So you do have it!

Filipino Woman: Excuse me, sir Eli?

Note: they always call us "sir Eli" and "sir Daniel." We like this because it makes us feel like knights.

Eli: You have my ipod?

Filipino Woman: Ok sir Eli. I check it is under the table.

Eli: Great. Can I come pick it up?

Filipino Woman: Ok sir Eli. I call you back.


I wasn't frustrated because this was actually the most clear communication I've ever engaged in with anyone at that place. So I was sort of on cloud nine.


Daniel's office is right next to this place so I asked him to run in there and talk to them for me. He messaged me later in the day.

Daniel: They say they so sorry, but they no have.

Eli: Crap.

Daniel: Are you sure you even brought it.

Eli: Yes! I remember it very clearly.

Daniel: "Clearly?" Like last week when you remembered "clearly" taking the keys with you when you and Krishelle left the apartment and then you tried to hide from me the fact that we were all locked out for half the day by sending me on pointless errands?

Eli: No. A different kind of clearly.

Daniel: Well she said they called the woman who went after you and she didn't see your ipod.

Eli: Well, I'm at a loss. I don't know where else to look.

Daniel: Have you checked your arm pits?

Eli: Yes. It's not there.

Daniel: Well now I'm at a loss too.

Eli: This sucks. I don't care that much about the ipod. It was old and hardly working. But I really don't want to not have one for the next 5 weeks.

Daniel: #1stworldproblems

Eli: Stop. You don't know what hashtags are.

Daniel: Oh, was that a hashtag?

Eli: How do I get music when I get back to the U.S.? Do I have to start all over with nothing now?

Daniel: No. You buy an ipod and give it to Krishelle to put music on it for you. Like you did last time. It will literally take 15 minutes of effort on your part.

Eli: But what if she doesn't have all of the music I want?

Daniel: She does. She has everything you want, including Miley Cyrus and the Spice Girls.

Eli: Do you think it's time for me to start my own music collection? I'm almost 40.

Daniel: YES.

Eli: So what do I do then?

Daniel: First thing you will need to do is download iTunes.

Eli: I did that one time. So am I all set? Do I already have all of the music I want?

Daniel: Yes. iTunes automatically knows what you want and there's this cloud that brings your music to you.

Eli: Are you messing with me? You know I can't tell through instant messaging.

~It Just Gets Stranger


  1. Too bad you don't have an attic. My husband is always finding stuff in the attic he didn't mean to put there.

    I'm behind the music times too. Someone had to explain to me what a "one direction" was the other day. And not like the north and south kind.

  2. Did you recently clean the apartment? I always lose things when I clean because when I put them "away" I always forget where that is.

  3. Pandora brings me Paul Simon. Sometimes Pandora brings me Paul Simon with Ladysmith Black Mambazo...

  4. Nearly 40? Really? Aren't you nearly 30? 30 is a loooonnnnnggggg way from 40. But 40 is thisclose to 50. That's how it works, sadly.

    1. I am with Wendy, you can't just skip 30 and go to 40, LOL. Though saying "I am nearly 40" had more of a punch. Maybe this means you'll finally hit puberty!!

  5. You know, iTunes remembers what music you have already bought, so if you try to buy it again, it will just download it without charging you. Of course, that assumes that YOU remember what music you already bought...

  6. I woke up feeling 40 today, stupid crossfit. And I can never tell if you really are tech clueless, but it makes me giggle and reminds me of the faculty I'm support staff for. Last week, one faculty called me from home wanting to know how to share a Google doc. Copying and pasting a link, or typing in emails was too complicated. Another faculty had the habit of saving the email, not the attachment, and he'd still do it wrong no matter how many times I'd show him.

  7. Check this site out.

  8. It's so nice that iTunes quit being stingy punks and decided to let us access the music we'd purchased, multiple times, whenever we want. But personally, I ditched iTunes for Amazon's Cloud Player. Plus any CDs I bought off Amazon that qualify got 'auto-ripped' which magically turns them into mp3s too. And Amazon's got oodles of sweet deals, so if you're really starting up a magic music cloud account, I'd give Amazon a look. Who knows, you may already have magic music in the cloud.