Thursday, July 18, 2013

This is a Very Small Island

A Conversation at a Bar During Lunch Yesterday

Daniel: What are we doing tonight?

Eli: Well Mark invited us over to his place for ice cream so we'll be going to that.

Daniel: Sweet. And . . . is that my shirt?

Eli: Huh? Oh this? Mind your own business please.

Daniel: This IS my business. You are wearing my clothes again!

Krishelle: So this is really a thing? He really wears your clothes?

Daniel: When he picked me up at the airport last week, every single thing he was wearing belonged to me.

Eli: Well should I have come naked instead?!

Krishelle: Why is that the alternative? Why wouldn't you just go wearing your own clothes?

Daniel: Well, in his defense, all of his clothes were dirty at the time.

Eli: Yeah! So back off, Krishelle!

Krishelle: So why didn't you just do laundry when you ran out of clothes?

Daniel & Eli: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Krishelle: What? Why is that funny?

Daniel: Eli doesn't do laundry. It's not something he does.

Eli: Yeah. And Daniel failed to leave me four weeks worth of clothes before he left so eventually I ran out of everything and had to start wearing stuff multiple times. It was really terrible.

Daniel: And I already apologized for that. But I'm just wondering why you are wearing my shirt now after I did laundry two days ago?

Eli: I'm doing try-outs with "your" clothes to decide which to take home with me in September.

Daniel: Um . . .

Eli: Oh. Just got a text. Ugh. Mark says that instead of going to his place there is going to be some party at a restaurant for a woman named "Suzanne" and we are invited to that.

Daniel: Do we have to go?

Krishelle: Who's Suzanne?

Eli: No idea.

Daniel: We don't even know who this lady is. She's probably a serial killer. Let's not go.

Woman at the Bar: Uh . . . I'm Suzanne.

Daniel, Krishelle, & Eli: . . . HI SUZANNE!!! NICE TO MEET YOU!!!

Suzanne: You don't have to come if you don't want to. But it really isn't going to be a big party or anything.

Daniel: I'm sure it's going to be great! I think we will come!

Eli: You betcha!

Daniel: [out of the side of his mouth] when did you start saying "you betcha?!"

Eli: [out of the side of my mouth] uncomfortable things happening inside of me!

Suzanne: No worries. I just wanted to let you know I'm Suzanne before you started saying anything else that you might not want spread throughout the island.

[long awkward silence]

Eli: So Suzanne, do you think this shirt fits me or would it be better on a giant person?

~It Just Gets Stranger

14 comments:

  1. LOLOL. Just everything about this conversation is amazing.

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  2. BAHAHA... love it.
    Eli, I think your issue is feeling inferior to Daniel because he's so much bigger than you. So you hope to compensate by wearing his clothes.
    But, really, Fashion 101: wearing larger clothes to seem larger, doesn't help. Just make you look even smaller and drowning. #true

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  3. HAHAHAHAH!!!!!

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  4. Hahhaha, as I live in a very tiny town where everyone has their nose in everyones business I actually understand this!!

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  5. But you didn't answer the most important question, which was did you end up getting the ice cream or not?

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  6. So, how was the party for Suzanne?

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  7. That is something that would totally happen to me lol, hope you guys had fun whatever you ended up doing :)

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  8. Wait so what did Suzanne say??? Did the shirt make the cut or what? :)

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  9. I feel the need to point this out.
    No laundry for 4 weeks-------> wearing clothes in an environment that is "soo hot all the time"------> Eli double dipping the same clothes he has undoubtably sweated in-----> GROSS.
    No laundry for 4 weeks-----> X 2 grown men ----------------------> Daniel will be doing laundry for the rest of his days

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  10. That was like, the remote island version of butt dialing someone while you're talking about them!

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  11. Hilarious! I'm going to start doing that when I overhear conversations like that. I'll just claim I'm whoever they're talking about.

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  12. My name is Suzanne and that has totally happened to me before...must come with the name.

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