Thursday, July 18, 2013

This is a Very Small Island

A Conversation at a Bar During Lunch Yesterday

Daniel: What are we doing tonight?

Eli: Well Mark invited us over to his place for ice cream so we'll be going to that.

Daniel: Sweet. And . . . is that my shirt?

Eli: Huh? Oh this? Mind your own business please.

Daniel: This IS my business. You are wearing my clothes again!

Krishelle: So this is really a thing? He really wears your clothes?

Daniel: When he picked me up at the airport last week, every single thing he was wearing belonged to me.

Eli: Well should I have come naked instead?!

Krishelle: Why is that the alternative? Why wouldn't you just go wearing your own clothes?

Daniel: Well, in his defense, all of his clothes were dirty at the time.

Eli: Yeah! So back off, Krishelle!

Krishelle: So why didn't you just do laundry when you ran out of clothes?


Krishelle: What? Why is that funny?

Daniel: Eli doesn't do laundry. It's not something he does.

Eli: Yeah. And Daniel failed to leave me four weeks worth of clothes before he left so eventually I ran out of everything and had to start wearing stuff multiple times. It was really terrible.

Daniel: And I already apologized for that. But I'm just wondering why you are wearing my shirt now after I did laundry two days ago?

Eli: I'm doing try-outs with "your" clothes to decide which to take home with me in September.

Daniel: Um . . .

Eli: Oh. Just got a text. Ugh. Mark says that instead of going to his place there is going to be some party at a restaurant for a woman named "Suzanne" and we are invited to that.

Daniel: Do we have to go?

Krishelle: Who's Suzanne?

Eli: No idea.

Daniel: We don't even know who this lady is. She's probably a serial killer. Let's not go.

Woman at the Bar: Uh . . . I'm Suzanne.

Daniel, Krishelle, & Eli: . . . HI SUZANNE!!! NICE TO MEET YOU!!!

Suzanne: You don't have to come if you don't want to. But it really isn't going to be a big party or anything.

Daniel: I'm sure it's going to be great! I think we will come!

Eli: You betcha!

Daniel: [out of the side of his mouth] when did you start saying "you betcha?!"

Eli: [out of the side of my mouth] uncomfortable things happening inside of me!

Suzanne: No worries. I just wanted to let you know I'm Suzanne before you started saying anything else that you might not want spread throughout the island.

[long awkward silence]

Eli: So Suzanne, do you think this shirt fits me or would it be better on a giant person?

~It Just Gets Stranger


  1. LOLOL. Just everything about this conversation is amazing.

  2. BAHAHA... love it.
    Eli, I think your issue is feeling inferior to Daniel because he's so much bigger than you. So you hope to compensate by wearing his clothes.
    But, really, Fashion 101: wearing larger clothes to seem larger, doesn't help. Just make you look even smaller and drowning. #true

  3. HAHAHAHAH!!!!!

  4. Hahhaha, as I live in a very tiny town where everyone has their nose in everyones business I actually understand this!!

  5. But you didn't answer the most important question, which was did you end up getting the ice cream or not?

  6. So, how was the party for Suzanne?

  7. That is something that would totally happen to me lol, hope you guys had fun whatever you ended up doing :)

  8. Wait so what did Suzanne say??? Did the shirt make the cut or what? :)

  9. I feel the need to point this out.
    No laundry for 4 weeks-------> wearing clothes in an environment that is "soo hot all the time"------> Eli double dipping the same clothes he has undoubtably sweated in-----> GROSS.
    No laundry for 4 weeks-----> X 2 grown men ----------------------> Daniel will be doing laundry for the rest of his days

  10. That was like, the remote island version of butt dialing someone while you're talking about them!

  11. Hilarious! I'm going to start doing that when I overhear conversations like that. I'll just claim I'm whoever they're talking about.

  12. My name is Suzanne and that has totally happened to me before...must come with the name.