Wednesday, July 10, 2013

What the People Want to Know

This is basically the laziest post of all time. I know this. It's been a busy week. There was tv to be watched.

I was googling something earlier and the Internet happened to be working well enough in Palau today that the predictor thingy on Google was actually functioning. I'm always intrigued by what Google thinks I'm about to ask, considering that this supposedly means that there are a substantial number of people searching the predictions it shows.

So I thought I would test out a few common things to see what the members of society are going to in droves to ask the world wide web. Enjoy.

Of course it licks you. IT'S A CAT.


How are there enough people in the world googling the third option down to prompt Google to predict this?

I'm not going to lie. Sometimes I do ask the Internet if I'm ugly.

I don't even know where to start with this one.

Not until they're 21 or pregnant. That was always the Bob and Cathie family rule.


If one of your chickens is the Queen of Colors, you should definitely reverse the animal order in your question.

To answer your second question, it depends. Do you currently have living inside of you a parasite named Lohan? Well in that case, every 12 minutes FOR A YEAR.


To the first question: Oh. My. Gosh.


All important things to know if you're a cat owner. Especially if you ever sleep or house possums.


As someone who believes that there is a giant eyeball with 1,000 toes wandering the Earth's caves, I'm going to let this one slide.

~It Just Gets Stranger

25 comments:

  1. Did you at least click on any of the options just to see what came up? I would love to find out if google knows if my cat is a boy or girl. It's so hard to tell these days

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  2. How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you:

    http://theoatmeal.com/comics/cat_kill

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    1. Yes! I love TheOatmeal.com
      Hilarious animal cartoons

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    2. That's exactly what I thought of for the 2nd one!

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  3. Ooooh, Eli, there are other people out there who don't know if eggs are considered dairy products. The things "the internets" can teach you

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    1. Ha! I somehow missed that one! That's simultaneously comforting and disconcerting . . .

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  4. I love this, I love Stranger, and I love Eli. Thanks for the constant entertainment!

    How many people ask the Internet how often they should poop?

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  5. Laughing so hard! Thanks! Cat people use the internet a lot I guess!

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  6. I'm tempted to google "are mermaids real" but I don't want to find out that they aren't and then have the magic ruined.

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  7. Go google sleeping bag pants. It will make you appreciate the stylishness of snuggies. :)

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    Replies
    1. I am going camping tomorrow and I am kind of wishing I had these, just for fun.

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  8. Eli, it's ok to admit that you really like cats. They are wonderful companions and we all know how bad you need a companion. Come to the dark side - we have plastic mice!

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  9. I love the one thrown in about the catholic faith surrounded by cats.

    How in the world is google ever supposed to answer am I ugly? If you have to ask then yes.

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  10. It's a book!
    http://www.amazon.com/How-Tell-Your-Plotting-Kill/dp/1449410243/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373556561&sr=8-1&keywords=Is+my+cat+trying+to+kill+me

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  11. Are You Afraid of the Dark was a great show. Great show.

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  12. I guess you and Daniel aren't the only ones with the Eggs: dairy or not debate!

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  13. Do you really have a parasite living inside of you or is Lohan one of your many "EXAGGERATIONS"??

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    Replies
    1. Sadly, Lohan is a real chapter in my life. But he was murdered in the fall of 2009.

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  14. To answer your question, no Eli, you are not ugly. ;)

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  15. Haven't you seen the commercial? You can't put anything on the internet that isn't true!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpbS00RNZhY

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  16. I think my personal favorite is "Will my cat eat me if I die?" Because I have often wondered that EXACT SAME THING.

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  17. I can answer at least one of those questions. In fact, cats do not know they are related. Either that or they are really comfortable with incest.

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