Sunday, September 15, 2013

A Conversation with You Guys

Eli: I need to talk to you guys about something very important.

You Guys: Ok . . . we're a little nervous. Are we in trouble?

Eli: Oh, gosh no! I could never be mad at you guys!

You Guys: Oh, thank heavens. Is it serious?

Eli: Well, kind of. First of all you know that I love you very very much, right?

You Guys: Really? Then why did you introduce the Queen of Colors to us?

Eli: That was out of love. You need to know what kind of evil exists in the world.

You Guys:  And what about last week when you only blogged like two and a half times and we had nothing to do all day except for our jobs and/or raising our children?

Eli: I already apologized for that on Friday. I made a mistake. I got busy. I was young. I needed the money.

You Guys: Huh?

Eli: Sorry. I got my excuses mixed up.

You Guys: Ok. So then what is this all about?

Eli: Well, you know how I moved back to Salt Lake City recently?

You Guys: Yes.

Eli: Well, since I decided to move back to Salt Lake, I knew I needed to decide whether or not I was going to live alone.

You Guys: Go on.

Eli: So I made my decision a while back and I was waiting for the right time to tell you and I think now is that right time. I want you to meet Kurt.


You Guys: Oh my gosh, Eli! That's so wonderful!

Eli: I know!

You Guys: We've always wanted a little brother!

Eli: A little brother?

You Guys: Yes! You're going to adopt him! Right?

Eli: Adopt him?! . . . No . . . he's going to be my new roommate!

You Guys: WHAT?!? ELI!!!? HOW COULD YOU!!??! YOU DIDN'T EVEN ASK US FIRST?!

Eli: I know, you guys. Maybe I should have. But I think you're really going to like Kurt. He's not like us. He's nice to other people and he doesn't do stuff like harass TMZ or make fun of cats.

You Guys: But do you think you're even going to get along with him?

Eli: Yes, because we are the same height so my wardrobe basically just doubled, which means I don't have to buy clothes anymore or pay to get other people's clothes tailored.

You Guys: But does he know that you're going to wake him up by clawing his face and meowing at him?

Eli: He will tomorrow!

You Guys: And what about laundry?

Eli: What about it?

You Guys: Does he know that he's going to be doing your laundry?

Eli: Shhhhhhhhh.

~It Just Gets Stranger

55 comments:

  1. Does this mean your going to start posting regularly again?

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  2. Wow, Eli. That was fast. Congratulations!

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    Replies
    1. Very quick censoring. Anyway, congrats. Now I want to meet Kurt.

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  3. Um... For the record I miss Daniel and this Kurt guy, who I am sure we will all love, has some really big shoes to fill. I mean both figuratively AND literally. Is this Kurt guy part giant?! How long have you known him?! Is he best friends with your sisters?! Will Kurt read your blogger?!
    Welcome to Strangers Kurt, I hope you're part saint and part giant.

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    Replies
    1. Okay, that's right.. You said he was your size, maybe he has a giant heart! :)

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  4. Does Daniel know about him? I think Daniel should know.

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  5. I'm not sure how I feel about this. It's like nothing is ever going to be the same again!

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  6. I'm digging the Parent Trap reference. And even if it wasn't on purpose, it's still a good one.

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  7. Kurt is very handsome! He definitely needs a wife so that he can pass along those genes! I would have his children any day! I think seven or eight would be great!

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    Replies
    1. Okay, many of us were likely thinking that, but umm...you probably shouldn't actually SAY it. It tends to make them run. :)

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    2. hm, well my seriously was more intended at our anonymous friend's apparent blindness to the obvious situation.

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    3. I completely agree with you mel. seriously people!

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  8. Yes! I will marry both of you! #bestdayofourlives #weresoperfecttogether #loveElisnewhaircut

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  9. Man, your taste in roomies is awesome! Hope we will come to love Kurt as our own. Also, hope you're happy but to be honest some of your most amusing posts are after (admittedly, first world) catastrophes, so maybe we don't want everything to be too smooth.
    Are you still revelling in fresh vegies and fast internet?
    Bridg

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  10. Unacceptable. You cannot replace our Dad that quickly. It's like you didn't even love him.

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  11. Very attractive new roomie. But will he play terribly mean pranks on you?

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  12. I think we're all missing the point. Daniel never read "Stranger" so Eli was free to post all his adorable pranks; what about this Kurt person? Is he actually a fan in disguise? And what's with all the amazingly handsome Mormon boys? Or is it Utah? Hmm... maybe we need some more pix of Kurt...

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    1. I concur, more pictures of Kurt would be nice....

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    2. But seriously. If all Mormon boys look like Eli and Kurt, I may have to convert . . .

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    3. Most Mormon boys do...I know I married one!

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    4. Definitely more pictures of Kurt. Is he single? This is an important question. haha

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  13. Umm... Do we even know if that is a picture of Kurt? It could just be some random picture...

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    1. I was wondering how Eli got a photo of 'Kurt' in a winter scene, when Eli alleges that he's been living on a tropical island.

      Ha! the truth will out!

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  14. Eli! I will be in Salt Lake City in October and I hope that I magically run in to you while I'm there. And by 'magically,' I mean I will basically stalk you and then make it look like an accident that I stumbled upon you. Juuuuuuuuuuust kidding, I'm totally not a stalker. Just a normal girl from Texas. I hope you're looking forward to this adventure as much as I am!

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    Replies
    1. are there normal people from texas?

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    3. Just a few...sort of...well, I'm from there (and not the Anonymous that previously posted), so no, no normal people in Texas, but normal is boring! Embrace the strange!

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    4. Sorry about the double post. I've managed to erase my first comment, which was the same as my second, but there is this remnant still there!

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  15. Welcome, Kurt! You are SO going to love us.

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  16. Replies
    1. Because Utah is famous for it's Skiing so by law ALL pictures taken in Utah must have snow in them.

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    2. Haha that's an old picture of Kurt, he didn't just pose for Eli's blog post

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  17. I never introduced the world to my new roommates. I've been living with them for a month. I wonder if that's appropriate at this point or if it's too late. Or if they'd even be okay with admitting to the internet that we all live under the same roof...

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  18. Something about Kurt just doesn't seem right. His smile is too sly and his hair is too spikey. In my sexperience...oops, experience, I know that these types can't be trusted. Why? Because I am one. And I can't be trusted. However, I am willing to make a small wager that you and Kurt are actually the same person.

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    1. Actually I may be the same person as you and Kurt as well. Wow. Wrap our heads around that! All three. Maybe we can be omnipresent and omniscient all at the same time. Wait part of that seemed a bit redundant but not sure what part...and I also just realize I replied to my own post. It looks a lot like me in here. The reply box, I mean.

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  19. Poor Kurt. Does he know what he's in for? ;) Welcome back to good ol' Salt Lake.

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  20. So I don't know if you meant to do this, but I definitely caught a PARENT TRAP the movie reference in there...

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  21. So, I think what we all REALLY want to know is....can he meow a song? That's kind of a gamechanger there.

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  22. Umm we need more deets about this Kurt character. Like we don't even know his blood type!!!
    My phone autocorrected deets to "deerstalker" WTH???

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  23. Will he take care of you when you have food poisoning?

    I didn't know how much I would miss Daniel, until he was gone. :(

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  24. Since I know Kurt and I know you already knew him as well, I can totally see why you became roommates with him. Best of luck.

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  25. How did you meet? How long did you know each other? Was it a group decision to move in together? What does mom and dad think? And does he know that your a well known "The Porch" performer and a "Blogger"?
    Just watching your back for you

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  26. Can I meet your roommate? He's a hottie with a body. I'll move out to Salt Lake. Is he Mormon? Mormon's are the most gorgeous breed of humans.

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    Replies
    1. I officially believe that Mormon men are the hottest on the planet. This picture was the final proof I needed. Welcome Kurt!

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  27. Okay, no one's going to ask, so I will...
    Did you kidnap this man. Eli, do you have Kurt in your basement against his will? Because that's not a good thing, Eli. Regardless of what Paul Simon is telling you inside of your head.
    Let him go, Eli.
    Let him go.

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  28. hahahaha. You are so weird.... in a good way, or course. ;) and i liked that insert from The Parent Trap.
    p.s. I'm pretty sure I saw you at Navoo Cafe today during lunch.... through the window..... after I followed you there.... just kidding. i didn't follow you there, but I did see you.... i think.... lets be friends.... this doesn't have to be awkward. hahaha.

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    1. You did see me there! You should have said hello!

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  29. I'm so excited! More than I should be about someone I don't know moving in with someone else I don't know. But, yay! I hope y'all have fun together! Also, you're right, your lack of blogging this last week sent me into minor withdrawal and I was forced to pay attention to my job....

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  30. Eli, I know it was originally Daniel who brought us together, but I hope we can still be friends. I like feeling practically famous through you... and I must admit I will miss getting regular and hilarious updates about Daniel's life. I would say laundry duty is definitely a fair exchange for your duty as his life history scribe. I hope Kurt feels the same way and that, as you record his hopefully interesting life, we too can feel for Kurt the same (almost) as we do for dear Daniel.

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