I think I've survived ringworm.

Axel appears to have left me. On the way out he was all, "I'm gonna find a new family who will appreciate me!"

And I was like, "Why does everyone I love always leave me!"

And he was all, "Because you don't shower or wash your clothes and you talk too much! Plus you spend two hours every day practicing thank you speeches in the mirror for winning unimpressive awards!"

And I was like, "First place at county hog wrestling in Oklahoma is NOT unimpressive!"

And he was all, "You're not even doing the correct accent! There is no reason to stay with you! None!"

And I was like, "What about cheesecake!?"

And then he stayed for another two days. But now it looks like he's pretty dead. And I'll miss him. It was the first time in my life that I've ever felt like I had a tattoo. It made me seem cool. People would run away from me at the gym because my tattoo made me look so fierce and intimidating.

By the way, I'm pretty sure Axel entered my life about three minutes before I shot this video in Hong Kong. I would like to formally apologize to Axel's family for taking him so far away from home.


~It Just Gets Stranger