The other day I got a phone call from my three-year-old niece, AKA "The Child Who Hates Me." Our rocky relationship hasn't improved much during the course of her almost four-year life. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I've tried everything you people have told me to do. IT'S LIKE SHE DOESN'T EVEN APPRECIATE ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS HAIR.

So I was surprised, and excited, when I realized it was her on the other end. Then the most hysterical and adorable phone conversation that has ever happened took place.

Emrie: Hi, Ailai [Eli].

Eli: Hey kiddo! What's happening, girlfriend!

(Eli suddenly feels embarrassed for saying "girlfriend" because he's worried that it's going to look like he's trying too hard. His palms become sweaty.)


Emrie: Oh, you know. I'm just hanging out with my mom and doing all kinds of really important things.

Eli: I bet you are. You can tell me about them if you want.

Emrie: I actually want to sing a very important song to you that's from my heart.

(In eager anticipation, Eli attempts not to sound too desperate.)

Eli: Ok. Sure. Whatever.

Emrie started singing Let It Go, the song that every child in America has been screaming for several months now. I expected her to sing it for ten seconds before getting bored and moving on to something else. Or realizing that I was on the other end of that phone conversation, dropping the phone, and running away screaming.

But you guys. SHE SANG THE ENTIRE SONG. It took almost four minutes. And it was SO dramatic. But the vast majority of the words were not really words in the English language. Whatever though. I liked her version better.

Eli: That was incredible!

Emrie: I know. It was impredible. And my hair is really cute, too.

Eli: I bet it is. Why do you like that song, Emrie?

Emrie: I just really like it when she says, "the cold never bothered me, ANYWAY."

The moment I got off the phone with Emrie, I demanded that my sister record a video of it so I could share it with you. So, yes. I'm yet another person polluting the Internet with a cover of this song. But I don't care. This cover should replace ALL of the covers.

Things to note:

Hand actions just after a minute or so.

You can tell that my sister resentfully knows the words to this song.

The last 15 seconds are the most incredible 15 seconds of all human history. Especially when Emrie turns into Liza Minnelli.


~It Just Gets Stranger