I could use the collective wisdom of the Strangers today. Because I am turning into a crazy person. And I don't want to turn into a crazy person BECAUSE WHAT IF PAUL SIMON?!
As I may have embarrassingly announced a few days ago, I might have been brutally kicked to the curb last week. Ok. It actually wasn't all that dramatic. The conversation was more like this:
Heartless: I don't want to date anymore.
Eli: BUT WHY?!
Heartless: Because I don't have feelings for you.
Eli: GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON YOU ARE DUMPING ME!?
Heartless: Because I don't have feelings for you.
Eli: THAT'S NOT A GOOD REASON!
Heartless: Uh. Do you want me to just pretend like I like you?
Eli: YES! Or just actually like me. But don't dump me! That's so mean!
Heartless: I still care about you and want to be friends.
Eli: If you still care about me, then why aren't we dating!? [Raises one eyebrow if he could]
Heartless: Because I don't have feelings for you.
Eli: WHAT?!
Heartless: I'm starting to feel like a broken record.
So then I spent the next several days wallowing in my own self pity and making VERY questionable decisions.
NO I WILL NOT TELL YOU WHAT I DID!
Fine. I got a tattoo of a Sonny and Cher covering my whole back.
After posting about The Great Dumping of 2014, I got a text from Cathie: "Hilarious blog today. But also, pitiful. And a few bad words. Hopefully you feel better now that you've gotten that out."
Ok, Cathie. First of all, you mock my pain. Second, I know I'm pitiful. Third, "whore" is not a bad word. NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. Fourth, no. I do not feel better.
And that's why I need the collective wisdom of the Strangers. How do you recover from heartache? What is helpful in trying to move past a break up? I never can quite seem to figure out how to make it through these things without doing something drastic like give myself a bowl-cut or write a terrible song and make my friends listen to me sing-cry it.
Please help.
~It Just Gets Stranger