Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Scary Movies

This weekend I went to my friend Burke's house and we had nothing to do so obviously we turned to destructive behavior. Like DRUGS AND VANDALISM!

Not that I know what those are, Cathie.

Ok, so we didn't turn to drugs and vandalism. Partly because even if I wanted to turn to drugs, I would have absolutely no idea how to get any. Like, I think you just go the alley and say something like, "hey man. You got the hook ups tonight?" And then you have to do that sneaky handshake thing where you exchange money for a little baggie. But then I wouldn't really know how to do the drugs once I got them home.

I would probably just end up putting them in a blender and making a smoothie. But then I would get too scared to drink it because what if they were poison drugs?

Also, I don't really do vandalism either because I don't really like destruction. It feels really wasteful and ungrateful to me. One time someone I was kind of mad at asked me to drop something of his off at his house that had been sitting in my car. So I took it to his house and dramatically threw it onto the porch, saying under my breath, "I don't even CARE if you get this!"

But then I walked back to the car and sat in it for about five minutes feeling guilty, so I walked back to the porch and straightened the thing and also swept up some leaves that had blown up there. Then I texted him to make sure he got it.

So I think even if I tried to vandalize, it would end up being a disaster and I would probably repaint whatever I defaced and then make a donation to the nearest YWCA just to clear my conscience.

Bob and Cathie spent an unnecessary amount of time during the course of my childhood worrying about whether or not I was going to end up in prison one day and an INSUFFICIENT amount of time worrying about whether or not I would end up naked in public places one day.

Parenting FAIL.

Anyway, having determined that we were incapable of drugs or vandalism, we decided instead to watch a scary movie. Because Halloween.

We skimmed the selection for a while before finally descending and settling upon Children of the Corn.

You guys. The human race be making some crazy crap during my early childhood. I already knew this because my entire youth (and early adulthood) was haunted by my memories of Stephen King's classic made-for-TV mini-series IT, which Bob manipulated me into watching with him.

Bob: Want to watch a fun movie with me?

Eli: What is it, daddy?!

Bob: Oh, you'll really like it. It's about clowns!

Eli: CLOWNS?!

Bob: Yes! And balloons! It's a movie for kids!

Eli: Ok daddy! I trust you and your judgment as a parent! Surely you would never subject me to anything that will cause me to have nightmares for the next two decades!

Bob: That's right! Now shut up and don't interrupt me until your mother gets back home.

[a couple hours later]



Anyway, Children of the Corn was clearly right out of the same era. And I can't say we were doing an exceptional job at paying attention, but we kind of watched it. And I think the entire plot of the movie was: terrible child actors with Biblical names slaughter all of the adults. The end.

But now, since Halloween is approaching and all, I need your suggestions on your favorite/least favorite scary movies.

~It Just Gets Stranger

97 comments:

  1. Wait until Dark. It's terrifying.

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    1. I second this. Such a good one!!

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    2. I third this. If you want another suspenseful Audrey Hepburn movie, do a double feature and watch Charade as well.

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    3. Ooh! I'm going to turn off my porch light on All Hallow's Eve and watch these two. Great suggestions. I hate standard scary movies, but love suspense! Oh, and our family Halloween movie favorite is Arsenic and Old Lace but the in-laws can't understand why we like that movie so much. Just watch it. You'll see!

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    4. i was going to say 'wait until dark' too! ooohhh and 'charade' and 'arsenic and old lace' are great too.

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  2. Also the Dr. Who episode "Blink". But only if you don't ever intend to walk past a statue ever again in your entire life.

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    1. Everyone says that's a super creepy episode, but I've seen it before. And it's absurd. You go back in time to live out long and happy lives. Oh, the horror!

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    2. That's what I said to my daughter when she freaked out about it, and she told me that being sent back in time and never seeing her family again was actually the thing that terrified her the most.

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    3. Doctor Who: "The Empty Child". I can never make up my mind if this or "Blink" is the most creepy. Either way, both had me clutching a pillow. "Are you my mommy?"

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    4. I would say The Empty Child is the creepiest. I couldn't watch it all in one go. I kept getting freaked out.

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    5. Blink is more terrifying in method rather then actual outcome.

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    6. While you're on the subject of Dr. Who, the episode Flesh and Stone with the weeping angels is pretty scary...as is the episode from the current season called Listen... that was SCARY!

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    7. Dude, come on guys. Don't you remember those aliens that make you forget you saw them in The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon? THOSE are creepy.

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    8. Listen was super creepy with the monster on top of the bed!

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  3. Strangeland. The most terrifying movie I've ever seen.

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    1. I 2nd this! Too scary :-/ I made my husband sell his copy in a garage sale. And I love Dee Snider but I'll stick to twisted sister thanks lol

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  4. I don't watch many scary movies, but I did see What Lies Beneath when it was in theaters. And it scared the crap out of me. But I'm a wimp.

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    1. Me too! After that movie I made my husband climb over me to get to the drivers side of the car because I didn't even want to be left alone for him to walk around. Totally freaked me out!

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  5. I cannot make myself watch scary movies, so I don't really have any suggestions. I kind of like "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" Which is plenty scary enough, because, what if some day the Great Pumplin ACTUALLY appears?? Also, being subjected the The Disney Channel every time the TV is on is plenty scary enough.

    That being said: I am SOOOO glad that I am not the only person who has no idea how to go about getting or using drugs. I honestly haven't the slightest idea. Funny enough, I deal almost daily with patients who have no issues telling me what kinds of drugs they use and how often they use them. It's not like I can be all "Really? And where do you go to GET these drugs??" Because, lots of suspision for lots of reasons....

    PS: Scary movies are not good for your hair. Just sayin.

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    1. Mom?!? Is that you??? And by the way, drugs are just as bad for your hair as scary movies.. Just sayin'.

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  6. The Conjuring! :D

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  7. I love The Others. The Others is more eery than scary, but still good!

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    1. The Others is amazing, and I don't do scary! Anything M Night Shymalan is good. Or you could just turn on Netflix for some old Twin Peaks...that show scares the crap out of me. BOB!!!

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  8. Why has no one mentioned that glorious 80's movie: Watcher In the Woods? Talk about your superb acting, and incredible C.G.I. But seriously, we love Arsenic and Old Lace and Wait Until Dark.

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    1. I LOVE Watcher in the Woods, best scary movie ever. I last saw it when I was about 6 years old though....soooo, my perception may be skewed.

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    2. Nope good for every age still scary suspenseful My kids love it. and it's G rated I think if it's not G it's PG but just goes to show that you can make a great scary movie that isn't R

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    3. This was my suggestion! I am thirty one and still get nervous around mirrors!! Thank you Disney for ruining my childhood. Yes it is Disney, yes the ending is super 80s, but it is fantastically creepy.

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    4. I wa also going to nominate arsenic and old lace for the comedic relief. Just watch it and thank us later.

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  9. Steven Kings Pet Cemetery. That will really make it very hard to ever attend a funeral ever again.

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  10. The original 'Haunting of Hill House'. That one, in a dark theater setting is terrifying. My HUSBAND screamed...

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    1. I second this. Great book, too. Also...I've never seen IT but your dad has a point...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdf2tqSy2zc

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  11. Not a fan of scary movies. I second Arsenic and Old Lace. You should also definitely watch the Ghost and Mr. Chicken!

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    1. I watched the Ghost and Mr. Chicken as a child and I was scared of the shears in the throat. But I would love to watch that movie now.

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  12. Apparently Stephen King scares you pretty good, since both IT and Children of the Corn are King classics.
    I would say in addition to those you should watch The Shining (even though King didn't like what Kubrick did to his novel), Carrie (the original with Sissy Spacek, none of the remakes), Cujo, The Green Mile (not very scary, just great), Maximum Overdrive (directed by a very drunk/drugged Stephen King, and totally campy), Misery, The Shawshank Redemption (another not-scary but great one), and Thinner (cheap, bizarre, and funny for all the wrong reasons, but still good.) Most of these you can find online for free somewhere. I'm sure if you turn on TNT or something similar The Shawshank Redemption is playing right this minute.

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    1. Great list!! The Shining, Misery, Salem's Lot and Pet Semetary are some of my favorites. SK's movies stick pretty close to the book for the most part. I think the book is always better but the movies are good too. I agree about the Shining, the book was a bit different and better. The movie was flat out creep and scary though.

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    2. Original Carrie, Green Mile, Misery, Shawshank... also, what about that Creepshow that Stephen King actually ACTED in? None too scary (I don't like scary) but all big FUN!

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  13. Here is a nice resource.... http://www.denofgeek.us/movies/21744/50-genuinely-creepy-horror-movies

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  14. I hate horror movies, but I like intense. Wait Until Dark was mentioned up top, and I loves it. Plus, Audrey Hepburn. Watch it.

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    1. also: IT is the worst movie ever and has destroyed the joy of clowns for me until the day I die.

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    1. That's about as scary as I go. :). Seriously, my favorite Halloween movie ever!

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    2. 2nd Hocus Pocus. BEST Halloween movie ever.

      Too add to the 80's movie commentary about Watcher in the Woods. The original The Changling was terrifying as a middle schooler.

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  16. Evil Dead II

    It's awful. And by awful, I mean incredible.

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  17. Do NOT watch The Ring!!! You will think that the little girl is going to climb out of your TV whenever you watch anything. I got tricked into watching it and then I had to watch 2 Disney movies after that and sleep with the lights on.

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  18. In the mouth of madness. Crazy creepy and best watched in the dark! Afterwards you will not be able to look at a little kid the same again!

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  19. Poltergeist was always the "go to" movie for my family when I was a small child. We were never allowed to watch Bambi because my dad was an avid hunter, but when it was movie night we were all about the poltergeist. I was deathly afraid of closets, clown dolls, static TV channels and under the bed well into my adulthood. Good luck!

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    1. I second Poltergeist. Watched in a dark room, all alone, it is the scariest!

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    1. You make me sad.

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    2. But fun to work on! Beautiful male bodies dancing to female-choreographed fun songs. Mmm, what a day that was!

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  21. Just saw Annabelle last night!

    I can't believe no one has mention Killer Clowns from outer space! we still have movies night and get togther to watch it ��

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    1. HAHAHAHA! It is the best, and currently streaming on the Netflix.

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  22. I agree with Moriah - It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is a favorite I mean seriously "What if the Great Pumpkin..." Also the Cartoon- The Legend of Sleepyhollow - Aggghhhh!!! The headless horseman!!!! I mean that flaming pumpkin-head, plus the music, and the unnecessarily-long legs of Ichabod Crane. It's totally awesome! Or there's that shiver-inducing movie Watcher in the Woods. Oh man when the little girl rights "Narek" on the window and says that's her dogs name but really from the other side it spells Karen and it's the name of the old woman's daughter that went missing. Oh man CREEP OUT!!!

    I prefer Thrillers to Horror. But I still find them scary...Poltergeist I-III, Sixth Sense, The Village, The Skeleton Key, The Net, Decieved, Disturbia - These are the only scary movies I liked enough to buy!

    I JUST thought of a whole slew of ones I hadn't thought of while looking at the ones listed before mine, like mostly CREATURE movies - Swamp Thing, The Mummy, Gremlins, Ghoulies, Goonies, Critters, Anacondas, The Thing, The Birds, Monster House, Ghost Ship, Tremors, Sphere, & Cube.

    HATE HATE HATE - The Grudge, The Eye, The Ring and

    ESPECIALLY.........WILLARD - TOTAL FREAK OUT MOVIE! Uggh! I hate rats! DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!!! I CAN'T WARN YOU AGAINST IT STRONGLY ENOUGH!!!

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  23. I haven't seen it but this looks like it would be right up your alley...
    http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Trollenberg_Terror

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  24. Not horror per se, but terrifying - "What Lies Beneath"

    Horror, campy, fun - "The Cabin in the Woods"

    Horror, just horror...umm...no idea, not a fan.

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  25. Oooh...almost forgot "Duel"...creepy, creepy, and it has the distinction of being on of Spielberg's first movies.

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    1. Yes! I forgot all about it but Duel is one of the creepiest movies I've ever seen.

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    2. Duel is good, and you can watch it for free on YouTube.

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  26. If you watch What Lies Beneath, it must be watched at a cabin near a lake in the middle of a thunderstorm. That's how I first watched it, I could not sleep for hours after that.

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    1. I watched all alone at my in-laws' big house with all the lights off. I almost died.

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  27. You figured out how to make gifs. And your hair is perfection

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  28. Paranormal Activity scared the CRAP out of me. Also: I second the Conjuring. Other upsetting movies: The Last Exorcism is incredibly creepy and I kept on getting up and pretending I had to do chores in the middle of it because I couldn't handle the tension, but my husband was on to me and mocked me. Also scary but moving: Jacob's Ladder with Tim Robbins. A complete waste of time: Silent Hill, although the imagery was pretty cool. Classic horror movie from my childhood: Nothing beats Halloween. Good God. Also, the Japanese movie Audition is COMPLETELY HORRIFYING. Not for the squeamish. One more thing: Don't Look Now has a totally horrifying ending but it moves a little slow for my short attention span, and there's a love scene with Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie that goes on for ten hours. And I don't really want to see Donald Sutherland in a love scene. I'm just saying.

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  29. Something Wicked This Way Comes
    ...and I WON'T subject my children to it like my parents did to me.

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  30. hahah we watched children of the corn a few years back! Only my brother grabbed the "un-rated version" because he thought that meant is was ok? Well just be glad yours was edited because we had to turn the movie off because of naked children. seriously. My brother never made that mistake again.

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  31. House on Haunted Hill and Pet Cemetery are the two worst scary movies of all time. But yay for Hocus Pocus which is the best Halloween movie ever!

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  32. The Shining and Psycho hands down. Also, like, Alien or Aliens. Silence of the Lambs. Cabin in the Woods.

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  33. Cassia for the win! :p

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  34. I pretend that I'm too cool to be scared by movies like The Ring but let's be real. That movie is terrifying. When I was in high school I watched it at a friends house and had to 'fall asleep' because I was so scared. Later I was like, 'That was so lame. I totally dozed off.' :$

    Also, paranormal activity. Watched it in the theater and had to have all the lights on for days. Then a couple years later, thought I would watch it while I was working (IN BROAD DAYLIGHT) and I was still jumpy all evening. I'm such a wimp.

    But The Grudge is the scariest movie I've ever seen. Whoa Nelly. I can't even remember what its about - I think I may have blocked it from memory because it was such a traumatic experience.

    I second that Silent Hill was just bad. There were some awesome effects and monsters but also some really lame ones. (What WAS that triangle thing?)

    Freddy vs. Jason was laughably bad. Freddy's arm gets cut off and he actually says 'NOT MY ARM!' boooooooo.

    The WORST 'scary' movie I've ever seen though was Stephen King's Dream Catcher. People eat berries, explosive poop an alien monster out, and the alien has a BRITISH (?) accent. Cause that makes sense. Not.


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  35. My aunts convinced my mom that 6 years old was plenty old enough to watch the PG-rated Poltergeist. LIES!! That movie has SCARRED ME FOR LIFE.

    But not enough for me to avoid scary movies. I recommend the classics: Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Nightmare on Elm Street. But ONLY the first of each series because they all get worse. Also, Scream is a good, fun one. What Lies Beneath is definitely a good one that's been mentioned. And The Conjuring is good too.

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  36. Rosemary's Baby and The Seventh Seal terrified me forever (also creepy religious overtones which made me feel guilty...so maybe don't watch those)

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  37. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and The Wizard of Oz. That dang child catcher, and the Wicked Witch of the West still terrify me as a completely mature twenty-seven year old adult. #nolie

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    1. It's the flying monkeys that terrified me.

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  38. I'm so glad to see that the only scary movies I've ever seen (but am tormented by to this day) are mentioned here and that I'm not as much of a baby as I thought I was lol. I watched the Grudge three times thinking I would desensitize myself and not be afraid of it anymore, but I've now got the images burned into my brain and have nightmares and see things in the dark because of it. When I watched the ring, my room was the only finished bedroom in the basement and when I walked out, the family room TV was right there. I had to have my sister sleep in my room for a month after watching that. Even then, I couldn't really sleep. If you watch them, you'll know what I mean. Awful.

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  39. I never watch scary movies and when my children do (don't worry, they are teenagers) I don't go in the room and I make them turn the sound down so I don't hear any scary noises.

    The best Hallowe'en movie of all time is "A Nightmare Before Christmas". It's really fun to see AND it's a musical. I highly recommend it.

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  40. The absolute worst are The Village, and The Wicker Man. When A Stranger Calls isn't bad and watcher in the woods always creeped me out when we were younger.

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  41. Sweet Baby PLATYPUS Eli!!! Warn a girl before you post clown pictures!!

    I'm just gonna go cower in terror from that damn clown.........someone tell me when it's safe to come out again...

    That said, I watched Silence of the Lambs in my dorm room late at night once with only my 15 watt desk lamp for light (my overhead lights had burned out and I hadn't gotten around to replacing them...) Needless to say, it was a terrifying experience. "It rubs the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again." Yikes.

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  42. Stephen king's The Langoliers is my last input.

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  43. I'm a big Hitchcock fan: Vertigo, Psycho, The Birds. All fantastic.

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    1. Yeah, Hitchcock is my October standard!

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  44. My home plays horror movies and shows 24/7. My 3yr old loves them. She's so cute! I told her to throw my old caliper away and she replied, "but I can use of this as a zombie tool".
    The exorcist
    Conjuring
    The haunting in Connecticut
    Dawn of the dead 2004
    TV shows: A haunting

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  45. Dead Silence and the original Night of the Living Dead

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  46. I stopped watching anything scary after The Grudge. I was in my 20's and ended up curled up on the movie theater seat with my head in my hands bawling because I was so scared. My brother suggested I go wait in the hall until the movie was over but I loudly refused, yelling "I'M NOT SITTING IN THE HALLWAY ALONE!!!!" Traumatic.

    PS - I challenged myself to watch the first episode of the new season of American Horror Story last night because CIRCUS! I may or may not have dreamed about a murderous clown afterward.

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  47. I'm a Hitchcock fan myself! But also, if you want something that's hilarious and just a bit creepy, watch "The Brain That Wouldn't Die." It's one of those old horror movies from the 50s or something, and it has the best lines ever (as in, you'll want to quote the hilarious lines with your friends for weeks, and then you'll feel all cool for having an inside joke). There's a car accident and decapitation and a Frankensteinesque monster. It's really fantastic.

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    1. Oh! And don't forget the Twilight Zone! I sound like I'm some old lady with these favorites, but I'm really just a girl in her 20s with a love of old-fashioned things.

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  48. Honestly, I was a bit disappointed in It. I think that's one you should really watch when you're a kid. It was kind of creepy, but I had a hard time getting over the bad acting. Plus I'd just read the book which is so much more intense. Oh - fun fact, when they're kids, right before they kill It (or try to), all the dudes have sex with the girl, one right after the other. YUP. I have no idea why they left that part out of the movie...

    You need to watch One-Eyed Monster. It's about an alien that possesses Ron Jeremy's...appendage...and kills a bunch of porn stars who are in a remote cabin filming a new video. It's GLORIOUS. Trust me.

    A good horror/comedy (oh yes) is Tucker & Dale vs Evil. Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyk accidentally end up looking like deranged killers to a bunch of college kids. It was much better than I thought.

    Legit scary movies I've enjoyed: The Cabin in the Woods, The Conjuring, all the Paranormal Activity movies (the parody: A Haunted House was MUCH better than I thought it would be), and seasons 1 and 2 of American Horror Story. Season 3 was meh and I haven't finished it yet... I'm excited about Season 4 but we're trying to finish 2 first.

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    1. That IS a fun fact! Isn't there a scene in the movie where she goes around and kisses all of the boys? That must have been the made-for-tv adaptation of that part of the book. I tried to read the book once but I never finish any book (going on 9 years with Crime and Punishment!) so I didn't get to that part.

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    2. It's the longest book I've read, pretty sure. My husband is the world's slowest reader and recently decided he wants to start it...I'm pretty sure our (currently non-existent) kids will be graduating college before he finishes.

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    3. Oh God - I used "pretty sure" twice. What a travesty.

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  49. Thirteen from 2003. Especially terrifying if you are the parent of a girl.

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  50. I second (third? fourth?...) anything Hitchcock, Arsenic and Old Lace, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, Misery (SO good!), and Silence of the Lambs. And add Kiss the Girls and Sleeping with the Enemy.

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