I had it on my calendar for a couple of weeks. If I wasn't so lazy, I would have made a paper chain to count down the days.

A Couple of Weeks Ago
Eli: Hello?
Matt: Hey, it's Matt. Do you think you could watch Ollie on--
[Screeching car brakes sound]
Matt: Oh, hi. How did you get here so fast?
Eli: WHERE IS HE!? GIMME!!!
Matt: I didn't mean right now. I was wondering if you could watch Ollie in a couple of weeks when I go out of town. I'll be gone for--
Eli: EVER?!
Matt: No. Like five--
Eli: YEARS!?
Matt: No. Days. I just need you to watch him while I'm gone--
Eli: IN CASE YOU DON'T COME BACK!? IN CASE HE DOESN'T WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU ANYMORE?!
Matt: Can you please stop sounding so hopeful?
The next two weeks were bitter. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I got so distracted that a couple of times I forgot to take my morning hair selfie before walking out the door. AND THE PEOPLE OF INSTAGRAM WERE LIVID.
Then Friday night finally came.
Matt brought Ollie over on Friday night. This was our Saturday and Sunday schedule.
Midnight to 4:00 AM: HYPERACTIVE PLAY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!


4:00-5:30 AM: Take Ollie out into the frigid cold every five minutes to pee.



5:31 AM: Time to be up for the day. LOTS of barking.
5:32-Noon: HYPERACTIVE PLAY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Noon-9:00 PM: Out cold. Unwilling to interact with the people I take him to see. No energy to play with other dogs.



9:00-Midnight: Take Ollie out into the frigid cold every five minutes to pee.
Repeat.
I swear to you I turned 70 this weekend.
~It Just Gets Stranger