Monday, May 25, 2015

Sometimes They Go

Rebecca: Do you want my bed?

Eli: Your twin sized child bed? No. No I do not.

Rebecca: Well I don't know what to do with it.

Eli: Are you getting a new bed finally?

Rebecca: No.

Eli: Um?

Rebecca: Are you sure you don't want it?

Eli: Why are you trying to get rid of it if you aren't getting a new bed? What are you planning on sleeping on? Please tell me you've thought that far ahead.

Rebecca: I don't need a bed anymore. Because I'm moving.

Eli: WHAT?! You just bought your house like 12 seconds ago!

Rebecca: I know.

Eli: Well what do you plan to do with it?

Rebecca: Rental property!

Eli: Where the hell are you moving to? PLEASE DON'T SAY MY--

Rebecca: YOUR HOUSE!

Eli: Damn it. Again?! How does this keep happening!?!?

Rebecca: Hahaha. I'm just kidding. I'm moving to Washington DC.

Eli: No.

Rebecca: Yes.

Eli: No.

Rebecca: Yes.

Eli: No.

Rebecca: Yes.

Eli: No.

Rebecca: Yes.

Eli: Who's going to feed you?

Rebecca: The land, obviously.

Eli: You are not moving to the other side of the country. This is nonsense.

Rebecca: It's a lot closer than Paris. I could be moving to Paris again.

Eli: Why are you moving to the other side of the country? Are you going there to catch yourself a man?

Rebecca: Please. I don't need to leave the state to catch myself a man.

Eli: How on Earth do you plan to rent your house out and be a landlady from thousands of miles away?

Rebecca: I hired a management company, of course.

Eli: Who is the management company? Please don't say W--

Rebecca: Wade!

Eli: Please help me understand how you have managed to rope my roommate into this.

Rebecca: Candy.

Eli: Ah. And when are you leaving?

Rebecca: Next week.

Eli: No.

Rebecca: Yes.

Eli: No.

Rebecca: Yes.

Eli: Is it something I said or did?

Rebecca: No. This isn't because of you.

Eli: What if I promise to be a better friend? What if I promise to believe you when you talk about your fake gluten allergy?

Rebecca: Well, first of all, I'm not convinced of your ability to do that, mostly because of the way you worded the question. But, again, I'm not moving because of anything you did or didn't do.

Eli: Then why? Why leave me?

Rebecca: Oh Eli. Surely by now you've learned that people come and go. Experience progresses. Circumstances change. These are growing pains and an inevitable part of life. Right now, moving is the unexpected but right step for me.

Eli: You moving isn't the right step for me.

Rebecca: I know. And I'm sorry.

Eli: Why does this have to happen? Why can't everyone I care about live in one big house together for the rest of our lives?

Rebecca: Germs.

Eli: Don't we ever get to a point in life where everyone just stays and never leaves us? Where all relationships are permanent and constantly available?

Rebecca: No. And you need to learn to be ok with that.

Eli: I want to. But it's really hard for me.

Rebecca: I know it is. But on the plus side, knowing that someone might not always be around can help you appreciate the people you have so much more.

Eli: I don't like that the people I care about come and go so quickly and so unexpectedly.

Rebecca: No one does. But we've touched each other's lives in important ways and that's what matters. It does you no good to ache over the loss if it keeps you from rejoicing over the gain.

Eli: I'll always be grateful for the gain. But I'm going to let myself feel some ache, too.

Rebecca: I think that's ok.

~It Just Gets Stranger


  1. Very, very good. It needs a cartoon with several frames depicting what you have written. I know you will miss her a lot! I hope she has a great experience in D.C.


  2. Reminds me of the conversation the Little Prince had with the fox. Rebecca is wise.

  3. Tell Rebecca to look us up if she ever needs some gluten free food!

  4. Tell Rebecca to look us up if she ever needs some gluten free food!

  5. NO, not Rebecca. She's the only reason I read your blog!


    I'm with you Eli, things sometimes change too much. I have a hard time catching up with too much change quite often. Sucks to have friends move away, but she's only a text/skype/phone call away.

    BTW, did you get the kitten pictures I sent you? Those should cheer you up if you're feeling down about this. I can send more...those 2 new additions to our family are nuts and THEY ARE GOING CRAZY IN MY HOUSE! For anyone who's reading this, I got two kittens (free). They thought they were both female but it seems after visiting the vet, one is actually male. Gotta think of a cool new name now. Preferably a superhero name...cause I'm a big nerd.

    1. Name him Vision, or Ultron depending on how good or evil he is...

    2. LOL, nice. I can see it now "ULTRON...GET OUT OF THE PLANTS!!!"

    3. We just named our newest kitten Montgomery. Not really a superhero, but definitely fun to say.

    4. If you don't name at least one of those kittens Tami or Trixy, then I guess this has all just been a complete waste of time.

    5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    6. Trixie is my dog's name. I sent you pictures a long time ago of her. And you didn't reply. Cause apparently I'm not worth your time. It's not like you have this demanding job or anything.



      The original name for the boy was Mystique. I called the other one Destiny because Mystique and Destiny are comicbook characters that are also friends.

  6. Everyone I know is moving to D.C., how did I not get the memo that we should all move to D.C.? I guess technically I don't "know" Rebecca per se, so that means everyone I know and everyone I don't know is moving to D.C. This means I'm also worried about the continent capsizing because of the redistributed weight. I'm also worried that my hyperbole is getting out of control.

    As for Lee's kittens, I'm surprised no one has suggested Tami and Leotrix as names, or Eli and Rebecca...

    1. And if it does capsize, will it take Canada with it, or do you think it will just split straight down the boarder?

    2. Maybe just DC will fall off into the ocean like California's been threatening to do for years, and maybe it will take this guy with it.

  7. Whoop whoop!!!! I noticed the link to this post on FB. THEN, I noticed that MY BROTHER was the one who shared the link. I have been trying to convert him for so long. Took him 40-some dang years to do what I tell him but finally it has sunk in. Now on to the rest of my to-do list.

  8. Rebecca is brave. I don't think I would trust anyone living in my house unless I met them in person. Hopefully Wade is a good judge of character.
    Also, Eli, I had a dream last night where I moved in with you and you were showing me around the Joseph Smith memorial building and I asked you where the YSA met and then said, "Oh wait, I'm married and you're too old." and I felt really bad saying that last part and then tried to get every single (good looking) girl we passed to talk to you. And then you helped me try to figure out why a random acquaintance of mine was trying to get me involved in this sketchy underground monster cult thing.

  9. I am so you in this conversation all the time. Except for I don't actually say it out loud. But I hate the whole friends coming and going thing. I understand that people should do their thing and live their lives, so I support them, but it's just not fun.

  10. Both of you have AMAZING teeth in that picture. I'm just saying.

  11. We are experiencing a mass exodus from our neighborhood right now, including my friend and running buddy, so this post feels especially timely. Each time someone new announces that they're moving, I wonder if they are all secretly moving to those tent cities I keep hearing so much about in preparation for the collapse of civilization. I have it on good authority that it's all supposed to start going down later this year.

  12. My mother-in-law has been going nuts lately buying sugar, tents and stoves. She's extremely religious. Did I miss something specific?

  13. Uh, no. Rebecca is not allowed to leave. Who does she think she is??

  14. Where will the homeless guy sleep?