1. Gratuitous selfies that have nothing to do with the caption:
|OMG my totes BFF Tami comes back from her trip today i have missed her so much these last two days ahhh!!!!!!!!!!!! #loveher #bestfriend #myperson|
If the post really is about your friend coming back from a trip, THEN POST A PICTURE OF YOUR FRIEND! Why have you given us a selfie? What does a picture of your face have anything to do with Tami coming back from her trip!? HASHTAG ENOUGH WITH THE SELFIES!
2. Gratuitous pictures of your body posted as a thinly-veiled attempt to show something having nothing to do with your body.
|I love my new bracelet so much and wanted to show you how great it is! Look how it sits on my wrist! It's so amazing! #bling|
3. Gym selfies and accompanying obnoxious hashtags.
|Gym time again. #gettingswole #pumped #monster #protein #allnatural #roidfree|
Furthermore, I hereby declare that anyone who has ever used any variation of #gettingswole should be barred from all social media forever. I cannot be talked out of this.
4. Pictures of yourself waking up.
5. Pictures of every single thing ever eaten.
|OMG look at what I'm eating right now right this second! #lunch #blueberries #iwokeuplikedis|
6. Excessive nonsensical hashtagging.
7. A video of you doing the Nae Nae.
I won't even try to demonstrate this one because I do not want to have to listen to that song and I refuse to have any corner of my brain wasted on knowing any of that horrible routine. So instead I'll just post the video of that time Anna Swayne hung a fake head from my ceiling. ON MY BIRTHDAY.
8. An infinite number of pictures and captions reminding the world how great your relationship is.
9. Photo collages.
|Look at my life! #picstitch|
10. Pictures of Tami.
~It Just Gets Stranger