Sunday, November 15, 2015

30 Things You Start Saying By Age 30

1. "I wonder if there will be somewhere to sit down at that party."

2. "Do their parents know where these kids are/what they're doing/what they're wearing/what they're saying?"

3. "I am going to take the most amazing nap when the weekend starts five days from now."

4. "Let's leave this event 20 minutes early to beat traffic."

5. "Why can't all parties start at 7:00 and wrap up by 9:30?"

6. "You just can't beat that curbside appeal!"

7. "I might have actually enjoyed the concert if they had turned the music down to an appropriate level."

8. "No thank you. If I eat that, I'll regret it for days."

9. "Does your neighborhood have a good Neighborhood Watch program?"

10. "Such a loss." (Anytime I hear about an untimely death on the news).

11. Any sentence that has the words "tax dollars" in it.

12. Any sentence that has the words "fiscal responsibility" in it.

13. Any sentence that has the words "need to see a doctor" in it.

14. "I haven't seen him/her in years!"

15. "Look how big you've gotten! The last time I saw you, you were [comment on the child's height]."

16. "The produce at that grocery store is much fresher."

17. "If I sit in this position for much longer I may have to be life-flighted out of it."

18. "I better report that [some infrastructure breakdown] to the City."

19. "If you're not five minutes early, you're late."

20. "I'm going to need to work some late nights this week so I can go on vacation next week."

21. "I'll be out of the office but will have email access."

22. "Could you stop by the house while I'm away just to check on things?"

23. "Does eye cream actually work? Am I just wasting money here?"

24. "Damn I wish I had worn sunscreen ten years ago."

25. "I can't believe I slept in until almost 9:00 this weekend!"

26. Referring to someone as "irresponsible."

27. "I'm not mad; I'm just disappointed."

28. Referring to people under 25 as "kids."

29. "Let's wash that so we can use it as tupperware."

30. "I'm just going to go ahead and take some Advil before we get started."

Please add freely to this list, my fogies.

~It Just Gets Stranger


  1. If you get up and take a shower, you'll feel better.

    Did you take anything for it?

    Take a jacket.

    The movie doesn't start until 9:00pm?! I'm in bed by then!

  2. Replies
    1. This totally happened to me. I am now 37 with two kids and would ALWAYS rather stay home. It kind of snuck up on me. I'm not mad about it, just disappointed.

  3. Anything with mentioning medication.

    I swear I turned 31 and started falling apart.

  4. I'm only (only??) 28 but I'd say I use around 28 of them. On a daily basis.

    "Have you had enough water today?"

    "I'm getting too old for this".

    "I remember when...*insert old person memory here*"

    "I know it's Friday night but it's almost 9pm. Do you think the neighbours will quieten down soon?"

    - Kiwi

    1. I've said quite a few of these already, and some since I was in my early twenties! I still have three years until I start falling apart.

      "THE [SANTA-FICATION] PROCESS HAS BEGUN!" Original movie quote is slightly altered, but a true movie quote ninja will recognize this wonderful little gem from the plethora of cheesy Christmas movies we have at our finger tips. Anyone anyone? "Bueller, Bueller"

  5. What did I walk in here for?

    Where did all this ear hair come from?

    If I could go back and redo parts of my life, I'd take more naps.

    1. #1 all the way Phillip. Every day...every single day.

  6. I'd better catch the 6 o'clock news because there's no way I'll be up for the 10 o'clock.
    I'm sure looking forward to the presidential debate tonight!
    The weekend definitely was not long enough. They never are!

  7. At my age you list:

    1. Surgeries - including all the graphic details
    2. Medications - the generic equivalent, dosages, side effects, and efficacy
    3. Deaths - I swear people are starting to drop like flies
    4. Evening - begins at 4:00 p.m. and ends at 8:00 p.m. If it doesn't happen twixt those hours, count me out.

    You also drive around your old neighborhood and if you have prisoners...erm...passengers with you point out the "Used To Be" places - that used to be a restaurant, that used to be a house, a movie theater, a school...and so on, until your captives are begging for death.

    1. My dad has been pointing out "used to be" places since I was born. He'll give directions and say "turn right by the old [insert thing that hasn't existed in 20 years]". In the last 25 years I have finally learned where non-existent landmarks are just so I can make it to the dentists office on time. Now most of our conversations are me trying to convince him I don't need directions, just the address.

    2. My dad is 93 and he gets most of his socializing done at viewings and funerals. One of his friends gave him the illustrated book "All my friends are dead" for Christmas last year. Whenever I start to feel old (I'm 36), I go and hang out with my dad and I feel younger.

    3. OMG, I'm 37 and I do the "used to be's" to my daughter all the time...

    4. I totally did the "used to be's" to my husband last weekend when we were in my hometown!

  8. Ugh, my back is acting up again.

  9. #19 needs to go. My ex-husband used that phrase to browbeat everyone we knew.

  10. At any gathering with children - "Wish I had that kind of energy/Where do they get all that energy?"

  11. "I really need to make that chiropractor appointment."
    "I would host the Christmas party, but everyone would need to leave around 9:00 so I cant go to bed."
    Random ache during the day: "My word, it's about to rain."

    Random: My mother used to gripe about how sore she was all the time and when I was younger I honestly thought she was faking it - there was NO WAY someone hurt constantly, I get it now... I gripe about my shoulder hurting almost every day.

  12. When you're 40:

    - Wish I was 30.

  13. How about passing messages through children to their parents. "Please tell your mom that I'll return her dish later this week."

  14. Said to anyone who says their stomach hurts, "When was the last time you pooped?"

    1. OMG we say this to our kids all the time.
      Kid: "My stomach hurts really bad...uuuuhhhh"
      Me: "Show me where. Yeah you probably have to poop"
      Kid: " hurts really bad"
      Then kid runs to the bathroom and goes poop.
      Kid: "Ah so much better"

  15. *Tupperware, not tupperwear.

  16. "Looks like I'm gonna need to buy another book of stamps soon!" Oh God, I actually said that one recently.

  17. I'm 23, a first year teacher fresh out of college. I teach 11th grade history. The other day, I was going over my powerpoint with my (mostly) 16 year old class. I pointed to a generic picture of a man during the Great Depression and said, "This is my brother. He sent me this on snapchat." I was trying to be clever, but by the screams of "Oh my GOSH!!!!" And "Just Stop!" I fell eligible to like this post.

  18. When asked what I did with time off:
    "Oh it was so nice to have a chance to clean up the house a little bit."

    Really?? *Facepalm*

  19. I briefly contemplated making a beaded chain for my glasses because I take them off all the time. Then I pictured myself thus attired. Nope, no way.

  20. - "These kids today are so lazy"

    - "If we go to the restaurant by 5:30 we will beat the crowd. It gets so noisy there."

    - "Now what grade are you in?"

    - "You shouldn't be doing that, its dangerous"

    - "That new freeway interchange is to confusing"

  21. I honestly contemplate moving house Every Day because of the SINGLE flight of stairs I have to take to get outside. And don't even get me started on coming back home with more than one bag of groceries! And laundry day is TWO flights! I seriously (seriously, I'm telling you, I'm serious about this) walk up my steep driveway Every Time I get out of my car in the garage so I only have to climb ONE flight of stairs instead of two.

    I'll be 50 on my next birthday. When did FIFTY become OLD? This shit sux.

  22. Hah! I'm not quite 25, and I say over half of these things. Responsible is the new dangerous.

  23. I'm only 24 and I say so many of these all the time.

    8, 15, 16, and 30 are my life. 30 especially. For a while there it was every week before I left for church (I'm in the junior nursery).

    21 should be deleted. I hate that stupid line. No. When I'm on PTO leave me the heck alone and find someone else to put out the stupid fires. I'll pay you the same respect when you're out.

    I would add:
    When you wake up in the morning and the only way to get out of your bed is to lie to yourself: "Maybe you can nap today."