Sunday, November 29, 2015

Bob & Cathie

Tonight I stopped by Bob and Cathie's house for dinner. They had placed some leftover rolls in the oven to warm them up. I walked into the kitchen and:

Cathie: I think the rolls are done. I'm going to take them out of the oven.

Bob: Cathie, they aren't done. I just put them in. They can't possibly be warmed up enough.

Cathie: Bawb, they are done. They've been in there for several minutes.

[Bob then splits a roll open]

Bob: Put your finger in the middle of this. This is ice cold!

Cathie: That's because you don't have feeling in your fingers anymore!

Bob: Touch this! Eli, get over here and touch this roll and tell your mother that it's cold!

Eli: I'm not getting involved in this.

Cathie: Son, your father has no feeling in his fingers. He doesn't know what temperature anything is anymore. He could burn his finger off in hot stew and he wouldn't even notice until his limb disconnected from his body.

Bob: I can feel temperature. And right now I can tell that this roll is very cold.

Cathie: I'm feeling the center of this roll and it is very warm. The whole roll is very warm!

Bob: How can you say that! It's cold! Here! Put your fingers right into the middle on this part! Ice cold!

Eli: Why is the roll very cold? Was it in the freezer?

Bob: No.

Cathie: No. And I'm putting my fingers into every part of this roll and none of it feels cold to me.

Eli: You people make less and less sense the older you get.

Cathie: Your father is older than me.

Bob: Barely.

Cathie: I'm still 55 in spirit.

Eli: Mom, I don't think that's helpful to whatever point you are trying to make right now.

Cathie: Bob, what are you doing now?

Bob: I'm putting the rolls back in the oven because I just pushed my fingers into the center of each of them and they are all ice cold.

Cathie: Do you see what I have to live with? Everything is complicated with this man.

Bob: It wouldn't be complicated if you would just allow me to leave the food in the oven long enough to get it warm.

Eli: OMG. When did you guys become this old?

Bob: What are you doing?!

Cathie: I'm taking the rolls back out of the oven! They are very done.

Bob: They are basically cubes of ice!

Cathie: Bob, I just put my fingers in every single roll and all of them are warm.

Bob: Touch this part right here. It's cold. And this part, too. Feel this part, too.

Cathie: Bob, that feels very warm to me.

Bob: Fine. I give up.

Cathie: Here, Eli. Do you want a roll? They're done now.

Eli: No thank you. I'm never eating anything in this house again.

Bob and Cathie; photo taken this afternoon.
~It Just Gets Stranger


  1. I think they may have just taken away your place at the Christmas dinner table, and torn up your invitation. I suspect they will probably now make up by sitting around the next holiday dinner, saying mean things about your holiday cooking attempts.

  2. So your parents got super old AND changed ethnicity? That is some impressive aging.

    Sounds like my parents. They're 75 and 79 and talk like this to each other all the time. Just wait until they start complaining to you about each other over facetime, or constantly telling me the other is going deaf hence why they didn't hear what they just said to each other at the time, or that they're both getting dementia/alzheimers all the time ALWAYS!

    My literal conversation with my parents yesterday on Facetime:
    Me: dad remember you owe me money for the stuff I bought you.
    Dad: what stuff?
    Mom: the stuff he JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT!
    Dad: Oh right, I forgot. I'm getting alzheimer's you know.
    Me: you've been saying that for years. If you had it you'd be so out of it you wouldn't know who was talking to you right now. You're just forgetting, we all forget the more we get older.
    Mom: well maybe it's dementia that he's getting.
    Me: facepalm....
    Me: ok I'm hanging up on you now.

  3. This blog needs more Bob and Cathie. Please.

  4. This sounds like every time I visit my parents!

  5. So who was right? Were they done or not?! Don't leave us like this!

  6. I think my favorite part is when they expected you to eat the rolls that they had literally both dug their fingers into.

    Bless their hearts.

  7. Greatly exaggerated. Funniest line of the night was Eli's, "This is the most geriatric conversation I have ever heard you two have."

    Mom xo

  8. My mother "texts" now.

    And by "texts", I mean she sends this:

    Yep, that's a blank nothing up there. She sends the blank nothing, then either calls to ask why I didn't respond or texts again and again..blank-ly...then she calls annoyed that I didn't respond to her texts.

    1. She's obviously writing to you in "invisible text". It's so that no one can spy on you.