Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Because Sleeping.

Last night I got an email just as I was about to get ready for bed from someone at the office asking me to do some relatively time-consuming work by 9:30 AM the next morning. This meant that I basically had 12 hours to write a bunch of stuff that needed to be filed in court today.

I didn't know how long the proposed tasks would take me but if being raised by Bob and Cathie for three decades taught me one thing it's that when something new comes up on your to-do list, you immediately stress yourself out into oblivion, drop everything else you are doing, and ruin your life to get that thing done no matter how small the task and no matter how fungible the deadline.

Did I use that word correctly? Fungible? Fungible. Fun-gible. I put the "fun" in fungible. That word is starting to not sound like a word anymore. Did I make it up? Maybe I made it up. But the red squiggly lines aren't running underneath it, which means either I didn't make it up or I said it so confidently that the Internet believes it's a real word. And if I can fool the Internet into believing the word is real, surely I can fool it into thinking that I used it correctly.

I mean, come on, y'all. You're looking at the guy who got someone to add "twice up the barrel, once down the side" onto Urban Dictionary and another confused person to ask about it on Yahoo! Answers, wherein the person who answered the Yahoo! question amazingly referred to Urban Dictionary for the answer, WHICH PROVES that Strangers are now the rulers of the entire Internet. We have dethroned cats.


You may have gathered over the course of reading the last two paragraphs that the task about which I was emailed last night took a significant amount of time, which time it borrowed from the version of myself who likes to sleep in his bed between the hours of 10:00 PM and 7:00 AM.

But here I sit, now in the mid-afternoon, having been in my office since 10:00 last night, killing a few minutes before I have to go look like a zombie in a meeting, wondering if I invented the word "fungible." And wondering if I should use it in said meaning. And wondering if I didn't invent it and if maybe it has a sexual connotation. NOT THAT WE KNOW WHAT FUNGIBLE MEANS, CATHIE.

I need to go to sleep. Can I sleep at your house? It's the least you can do considering that I have offered to give all of you a kidney on at least twenty separate occasions.*

*I wouldn't actually give you a kidney unless you were Tami. Because she's connected to me so basically it just means I would be keeping it for myself. Which is selfish but also sometimes you gotta look out for number one. Also I would give you a kidney if you were Paul Simon and if you were I would actually propose that we trade kidneys and then glue our eyeballs together so we are constantly looking directly into one another's pupils with absolutely no space between us and then we'll need to hug all the time because that will be the most comfortable thing to do considering that our eyeballs are glued together OH MY GOSH I WANT THIS SO BAD.

Sadness.

~It Just Gets Stranger

52 comments:

  1. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fungible.

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  2. 1) your blog posts when you're sleep deprived function like my brain does all the time which leads me to 2) have you (or any other Strangers) ever heard of/taken the Myers-Briggs typology test?? Cause if not you should all take it so i can confirm my theories of what type of people you are (and I'm attaching a link for it!! http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp Cause seriously you all need to take it) 3) My personality type is ENFP in case anyone is wondering and 4) I'm not sure why I've been numbering and listing things lately! It's weird 5) I might be sleep deprived too haha

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    1. I've taken a few different versions of this test and I'm always an INFJ.

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    2. Andra - I am an ISTJ - so, basically, we are complete opposites. . . . . opposites attract right? Why aren't you cosmically glued to my side????

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    3. ISFJ - There was a facebook thing going around where if you knew your typology it would tell you what character you were most like from various shows. I just remember I was like Glenn from The Walking Dead and Pinky Pie from My Little Pony but there were a bunch of shows and comics listed. Just in case anyone is wondering what else you can do with your typology besides give Andra a way to confirm her theories about all of us.

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    4. Yay!! More types!! Cara - that's so weird! INFJ is the rarest type but I've met 3 of them in the last week! Nicole - You're right, we should most definitely be best friends now and we can tell each other secrets and braid each other's hair.....it'll be fun! And Bridge is right you guys, plus if you search for your type or MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) on Pinterest they have lists of what the different types are as various things!

      But seriously if you guys look up your type on Pinterest or just google it you can find sites that talk about your personality and strengths and weakness to watch out for and for everyone I know their type is pretty dang accurate! It's crazy cool

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    5. I took the test in college, and at that time I was an ENFP, as well. :)

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    6. ISFJ....no big surprise LOL

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    7. I've taken this test many times in the past. And I took this one too. INTJ over here.

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    8. Yay! A fellow ENFP!! That's so exciting! I've never met anyone with the same type :) And Eli I figured you would be similar to me! But the J makes sense cause if I ever tried to be a lawyer nothing would get done since I'm more 'I'll just wing it' rather than making a plan....I'd imagine winging it wouldn't work out so well as a lawyer.

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    9. Lee I knew you would be an INTJ, cause you talk (or type in the comments section of Eli's blog as the case may be) like my brother and my best friend both of whom are INTJs

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    10. Apparently I get along best with ENTJ, INTP and ISTJ (no wonder Nicole and I get along). I am also intrigued and get along with INFP, INFJ, ENTP and ENFJ's (Eli apparently intrigues me...that's why I keep him around). Potential complements are ISTP, ESTP, ESTJ and ENFP's. And my opposites that I clash with are ISFP, ISFJ (sorry Anon, we are now mortal enemies from this day forth), ESFP and ESFJ. I think my mom is an ESFP...which would make sense, even though I love her to death, she makes me crazy.

      WAY TO GO ANDRA!!! Now I'm all intrigued by this stuff again, which will now waste most of my day. You just cost the company I work for hundreds of dollars.

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    11. You're welcome Lee :) I'm assuming that's a compliment and even if it's not I'm going to take it as one. We ENFPs like to assume the best you see

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    12. Haha, either way it doesn't matter. It says we're supposed to get along Andra. WE HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE MYERS-BRIGGS! ;)

      I actually love reading into all of this.

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    13. INFX here (meaning that my Js and Ps are all cuddly with each other)!

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    14. INTJ high five with Elsie. We should start our own club.

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    15. Yes!! Myers-Briggs is always right! And me too, one of my friends recently discovered it (I've known about it for awhile) and I've had the best time reading into everything and making people take the test and figuring out other people's personality types :)

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    16. INFPs all the way!

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    17. Finding out that Eli is the same personality type as me just made my entire day. Also, it makes me think we should be friends. Hashtag secret stalker.

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    18. Lee - we get along because we are virtually the same person (I'm an INTJ too - not one of those you claim to get along with).

      On a separate note - I just found this: http://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2015/11/what-exhausts-each-myers-briggs-personality-type/

      It was COMPLETELY on point for me!

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    19. ESFJ - So close to Eli! Yeah! Pretty accurately described me. I am a mother and protector and wear my emotions like a banner! That didn't bode too well when I was in a courtroom (I was a paralegal for many years). Don't mess with me or people I love! haha! But I don't want to be a mortal enemy of Lee! I really like him!

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    20. First you said you were an ISTJ, now you're saying you're an INTJ. I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't even know who you are anymore!!!

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    21. Sorry Catherine...there's nothing I can do. It says what it says. We are, henceforth, forever locked in mortal combat.

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    22. I get a different personality type every time I take an M-B test, which leads me to concur with this guy. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/give-and-take/201309/goodbye-mbti-the-fad-won-t-die I took three different MBTI assessments within 24 hours and got: infp, istj, and infj.

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    23. Just remember Suzz, the tests you find online are not all true MBTI tests (the actual tests cost money to take). I've taken the actual test twice, once when I was about 15 with my family, and once when I got married 13 years ago, and I got the same results both times. Although I've also done the online tests many times as well and have always come up with INTJ.

      These tests are more to help you discover who you are, and maybe better understand yourself and how to better interact with others. The scale for each section is more of a sliding ruler, it's not set in stone. You can be an introvert with extroverted tendencies. Kind of like me. I'm introverted, but get me talking about something I like and I won't shut up, even if there are tons of people around me. It just means that my introversion is my dominant personality trait. The actual test will actually show you how much into each side you are. And your personality will also change as we age because of how we learn as well as hormonal changes. NOT THAT WE KNOW WHAT HORMONES ARE CATHIE!!!

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    24. I've taken the actual MBTI assessment 3 times in my life once in college and two other times for job applications, and gotten a different answer each time. It's just another label that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy for those seeking validation. I've seen the graphs showing your percentages and my fluctuate, but by and large I'm not extremely in any one category, but slide in and out. The only section of the test I've never border jumped on was the E/I line...which is funny because people who don't know me always assume I'm an extrovert. I'm just good at faking it, secretly I want to set the Queen of Colors on every single person who tries to initiate conversation with me or talk me into leaving my house.

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    25. Well maybe you're just weeeiiiird!

      I really don't get the "self validation" thing. I mean, that's not what I take from it. For me, it's good at helping point people in the right direction as far as career path, or help me to see things about myself that I need to work on so I can improve myself or which type of people help me to better myself because sometimes I need pushing and only certain types of people seem to do that for me, etc...

      Plus it's neat.

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    26. I agree 110% with you on that Lee!! I think people can be however they want this helps me think introspectively and realize what I like about myself and what I want to change!

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    27. I'm an ENFP and always have been, as far as I can tell. Not that ENFP's ever need a Myers-Briggs test to tell us who we are - HA! There WAS this one time, (at Band Camp? no, that's not it), where I took it again for $#!ts and giggles, and it swapped my P for a J, so I guess that makes me an ENFX (like Garrett, only extroverted). There has never been any swappage of my ENF, tho. I am ALL that (and a bag of chips, if I do say so myself... but seriously, I'm an ENFP, so of course I WILL say so myself)! HA!

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    28. Oh my gosh emelle you should be my new best friend!!!

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    29. OMG! I am totally INTJ - how on earth did I type ISTJ??? Wait - maybe I AM an ISTJ . . . . I'll have to retake it . . . .

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  3. What if Dean Strang needs a kidney? I can't believe you would turn him down.

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  4. Or Mr pants or Mr scraps, surely you couldn't let one of them die for the lack of your kidney!

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  5. I'm going to law school very soon and want to work for K&M, which makes me ask if you maybe regret the exact decision I plan to make, and also maybe do you want to be friends someday (you will recognize me as the one with the second-best hair and the first-best teeth in the office) so we can do things like eat gluten and make fun of hipsters and on really good days make inappropriate photocopies to distribute to Clients (big C, of course) across the street?

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  6. I legitimately have a fungible barrel that you could sleep in.

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  7. Well, all I know is that I am NOT fungible.

    NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT FUNGIBLE MEANS, CATHIE.

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    1. Not that any of us know what fungible means...

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  8. Eli! You taught me a new word today! That's amazing! Seriously - my friends claim I have the biggest vocabulary of anyone they know and that I use words they don't understand all the time. In fact, when we're together they've created a drinking game around it. When I say a word someone doesn't know, that person will say "Big Word" and they all drink. Soda and milk and water of course. WHAT ELSE WOULD THEY BE DRINKING???? My friend actually texted me this morning to let me know she just used the word ensconced and asked me if it was too early to drink. I told her how proud of her I am and said it's five o'clock somewhere . . . not that it needs to be five o'clock to drink soda or milk or water because WHAT ELSE WOULD SHE BE DRINKING????

    Anyhow - thanks for the word!

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  9. do you have a stalker yet? are you taking applications? is there an age limit?

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  10. I'm afraid fungible was not used in the correct context. It means "able to replace or be replaced by another identical item; mutually interchangeable." so:

    "I didn't know how long the proposed tasks would take me but if being raised by Bob and Cathie for three decades taught me one thing it's that when something new comes up on your to-do list, you immediately stress yourself out into oblivion, drop everything else you are doing, and ruin your life to get that thing done no matter how small the task and no matter how [mutually interchangeable] the deadline."

    Unless that's what you meant to say, then great job! 5 points to Gryffindor for teaching us all a new word whilst using it in the proper context!

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  11. There really needs to be a Like button for the comments here. You Strangers are ALMOST as entertaining as Eli :)

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    1. Yes, a LIKE button would be great, Eli...since we're upgrading this website and all. Nice banner, btw.

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    2. If someone can tell me how to do that, I most certainly will. I haven't figured it out.

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    3. You know what, we're asking the wrong person...

      Dear MATT,
      Could we get a "like" button for the blog, please? Thank you.
      Yours truly,
      Stranger Fan

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  12. Cats will ALWAYS rule the internet.

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  13. You get 8 hours of sleep? I envy you.

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    1. 10:00 to 7:00 is actually 9 hours. But I only said I "like" to sleep in my bed "between" those hours. I never actually said how many of those hours I actually sleep.

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