Matt: You should make t-shirts.
Eli: Like, for my job?
Matt: For Stranger.
Eli: Oh. Well I did that once but then I stopped.
Matt: Why did you stop?
Eli: Because lazy.
Matt: Because lazy is why you do a lot of things.
Eli: Well, it's why I don't do a lot of things.
Matt: But I could help you and we could probably do it pretty simply.
Eli: What kind of shirts did you have in mind?
Matt: Well, maybe one that says "not that I know what that means, Cathie." Or we could do shirts with the Queen of Colors on them. Or one that says "twice up the barrel" on the front and then "once down the side on the back."
Eli: And t-shirts with giant pictures of Tami.
Eli: Why do you hate all of my good ideas?
Matt: That is a terrible idea and we will not print a picture of Tami on a shirt.
Eli: What about on a coffee mug?
Matt: You understand that that's worse than printing her on a t-shirt, right?
Eli: No, I don't understand any of this. I don't understand why people are so hostile about Tami. She's just a working woman trying to make it in the big city.
Matt: Because Tami is disgusting and it's not ok that you keep sharing pictures of her on Stranger. The people who read Stranger don't deserve this.
Eli: Well I agree that Tami can be a little off-putting at first glance--
Matt: At every glance.
Eli: --BUT, I think when you put really nice hair on her, she's very pretty.
Matt: Your horrible photophopping skills do not make Tami pretty or any less disgusting.
Eli: What if we make socks that have Tami's image printed over the big toe!
Matt: You are so out of touch it's scary.
~It Just Gets Stranger