Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Thank You For Being A Friend!

A quick note before we get into today's story: A huge thanks to the hundreds of you who have joined us over at Imzy so far. It has been incredibly fun to interact with you there and not do anything else like my job or responsibilities. If you haven't joined yet, please do so now at this link.

Since we are all hipsters now and because this is Imzy's beta testing, we have a uniquely loud voice right now when it comes to feedback. So if you have any feedback about how Imzy is working or what you would like to see there, let me know and I'll be happy to pass it on. So far they've been wonderfully quick at implementing suggestions.

Also, a couple hundred of you have won June Snapple shirts so far and if you don't email me pictures of you wearing them and/or canvassing your neighborhood for June's candidacy, THEN I GUESS THIS ISN'T EVEN AMERICA ANYMORE.

In other news, you may remember my naively optimistic plan to bury the dilapidated concrete pond in the my backyard, which The Perfects informed me last summer has been holding stagnant water for at least four decades now.


I tried something, and thought I had popped a hole or two in the bottom of it to aide in draining water. And then I filled it with dirt and planted some ground cover plants, believing that all of my problems would go away and I would probably get to go to Disneyland next.

Let me be clear: My problems did not go away. The plants died. And no Disneyland.

The plan seemed to be working ok for a little while during the very hot summer months. It would occasionally rain a little bit, the plants and dirt would soak up the rain, and no toxic wasteland would take up residence on my property.

Then, in the late summer, we sustained several weeks of abnormal rain. And the pond filled back up to capacity. And that turned into green sludge. And 3/4 of my neighbors died from this.

So I knew desperate times called for desperate measures and I would have to finally take this matter into someone else's own hands WHICH IS WHY I called Adam and Matt.

They agreed last week to help me rent some contraption from Home Depot to drill holes in the bottom of the concrete so it could at least drain until I decided to finally break down and pay someone to come in and demolish and remove it.

This was a royal pain in the word-Cathie-thinks-we-don't-know, but it seemed to work, and I let it be, too busy with work and Strangerville and Ironman training and TV and candy and taking naps to deal with it anymore.

Then on Friday I left town for a weekend in Zion with some friends.

Matt was texting me throughout the day, asking when I would be home. This was suspicious because the only time Matt usually takes concern with my whereabouts is when he's hungry and my schedule is somehow interfering with his ability to obtain food.

But I did not expect to come home to find this:


I couldn't believe it. They came and ripped the entire four hundred trillion pounds of asbestos concrete out of my yard. And by "they" I mean Adam. By the testimony of at least two people, Matt mostly just watched and complained, because apparently he turns into me when I'm not around to assume that role.

It was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. I couldn't believe it, and I got a little emotional when I thought about how much time and effort that must have taken.

I actually think they wrote this song for this exact situation:


Although, to be fair, I don't know how generous Adam intended this act to be. I did discover a bill in my kitchen for "$3,000,000."  I'm not sure how serious he is about this bill, but he has brought it up multiple times, never while smiling.

Now I have four hundred trillion pounds of concrete in my backyard that I need someone to haul away and I was thinking that if every one of us takes one piece of concrete away, we can have the job done in no time!

This is team work, guys! STOP BEING SELFISH.

~It Just Gets Stranger

23 comments:

  1. You play the damsel part well. I need to take notes.

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  2. Awesome friends are the very best things in the world. ALSO, about IMZY, I hate to be that person that keeps having trouble with it, but I did finally get an email from them, but it says something about waiting, and I thought everyone got that email that way, but people keep talking about actually being ON the website and doing things, and... So I guess I failed the hipster test? They saw right through me and sent me the run-around email? OR I don't know? I just want to hang out with the cool kids, the cool kids, the cool kids.

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    1. Very strange. You should have gotten an email when I accepted your request, inviting you to create an account. If you can't find that email, try to contact Imzy at https://www.imzy.com/contact or via DM on Twitter (@ImzyHQ). Tell them the problem and they should be able to help sort it out.

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    2. Amy - I got the email about waiting and then another one came that said I got in and I totally missed it because it got tangled up with my other emails in my junk file and I accidentally deleted it but I found it in my deleted mailbox so maybe that's where your invitation is you should look.

      I seriously just tried to make that the longest run-on sentence I ever typed. I think I succeeded. My purposefully delinquent English composition students would be so proud.

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    3. I also got the "your invitation is coming soon, sit tight!" email and have heard nothing since. ALSO I clicked to join NO LESS THAN 20 seconds after you posted (I just happened to be sitting here when your post went live) so for sure I was one of the first ones and am eagerly awaiting a snapple t-shirt. Please to advise.

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    4. Aubrey, if you can't find the invite email in your spam or trash folders, contact Imzy (see above). They should be able to get you sorted out.

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    5. When I clicked the link to join, I got the "your invitation is coming soon" email in my Primary inbox (I've got Gmail), so I just waited and didn't think much of it. Then later I was going through my Promotional inbox and found the actual invite to Imzy mixed in amongst all my emails I usually ignore for a few days. So if you've got Gmail, maybe try checking a different inbox.

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    6. Well now that I know people are accepted, and others are apparently wait-listed, I feel even worse that I never received any email from imzy. Maybe I will have to break down and compliment Eli's hair when I see him next to improve my odds.

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  3. You should write messages on pieces of concrete and mail them for a fee. Like this guy did with potatoes https://potatoparcel.com

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  4. You have really amazing friends. It stands to reason that you are also an amazing friends. Like likes like.

    I laugh out loud at the idea of canvassing my neighborhood for June Snapple's candidacy. I live in Mexico. I think my neighbors and I would end up very confused.

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  5. have a cement block giveaway on imzy! I know I'd be proud to say I won one

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  6. At first I wondered if the Perfects were part of the 3/4 of your neighbors that died from the green sludge and then I thought, "Of course not, they're the Perfects!"

    Bravo Matt and Adam - any time you're in Michigan I have a house that needs work.

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  7. Adam needs a shirt that says "Has sledgehammer, will travel"

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  8. You could sell them like pet rocks. Some with Snuggies, some painted like the Queen of Colors, some with Tami, etc.
    You would be rid of the concrete and be able to pay Adam's $3,000,000 bill. Win-win-win!

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  9. You should post chunks of concrete on Ebay and let us fight for the pleasure of owning a piece of Eli's sludge pond.

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  10. When's trash day again? Just place one piece of concrete per trash can lining the streets surrounding your house. It may take two trash days, but easy peasy and your neighbors will be lending a hand without even knowing it!

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  11. Golden Girls! I won't lie, watching that theme song was like hugging an old friend. Which is also kind of sad because I was probably 10-13 years old when that show was on, and I absolutely loved it! I think I died a little inside when Bea Arthur passed away.

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  12. That is so amazing. I love friends!

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  13. Maybe list the concrete on Craigslist. People use stuff like that all the time to repurpose for putting around raised gardens, landscaping, and other random/odd projects.

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  14. Invite your local Crossfit box to do a WOD in your yard incorporating the removal of the concrete. :) I'm sure you'll get blog material from that.

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  15. I finally joined imzy! (after my internet being down for three days) I probably missed the June Snapple t-shirts BUT I'M HERE! I'M HERE GUYS!

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  16. I'm still a bit nervous to join Imzy, much as I'd love a Free June Snapple (from her PTA prison!) t-shirt. I joined Ello about a year ago, and THIS WEEK, my email's been flooded by them ("hey, where ya been? you're missing out on meeting all these cool people"); I'm so far behind in my blog-reading that it's taken me all week this week to catch up on a month's worth of Eli's shenanigans.

    Tell me truly, Fellow Strangers. Should I attempt hipsteroidismness? Is Imzy all it's cracked up to be? (NOT THAT WE KNOW ABOUT CRACK, CATHIE!)

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    1. I can't speak for everyone, but it has been incredibly entertaining for me so far and not the slightest bit annoying. I adjusted my settings on Imzy so I don't get emails from them.

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