Tuesday, April 5, 2016

A New Flaw

I've been having this really weird problem lately so I texted Sam about it because he's an orthodontist so I insist on going to him for all of my medical needs.


This is a really strange problem for me to have because remembering things is included toward the top of my exhaustive list of qualities, which I've presented for you below in case you think I'm lying.

Qualities

1. Exceptional hair
2. Remembering things
3. Dancing
4. Water aerobics 
5. Laughing super hard at jokes that aren't very funny just so nobody feels awkward
6. Crying during sad commercials

Flaws

1. Bad at the Macarena 
2. Trusting obviously crazy people
3. Not great at tennis
4. Pretending to be lifting when helping others move heavy furniture
5. Putting things back in the wrong place at grocery stores after changing mind
6. Irish skin

So as you can see, there are some things I'm really good at and some things I'm really bad at and that's ok because we don't judge WE JUST HELP.

Because I have exactly six qualities and six flaws, if one of those qualities then becomes a flaw, it upsets the balance and I suddenly become an overly flawed person, which is unacceptable because I plan to take over for Oprah one day and being overly flawed would really hurt my chances.

I'm not totally sure what could be causing me to suddenly start forgetting things lately, but I'm guessing it has to do with stress and working way too much this year so far. Also, I have spent eleventy hundred hours in the last few weeks editing stories for Episode 3 of Strangerville and I think this project may now be eating part of my brain. 

Hopefully it's the part that has memories about scout camp in the 90s. 

I'm going to try to get more sleep because Cathie always says I need more sleep and I like to just do whatever Cathie says because she seems to know things.

Sam continued to try to be helpful, though, ambushing me with basic questions throughout the day to test the depth of my new problem.


~It Just Gets Stranger 

32 comments:

  1. If you want to beef up your crying-during-sad-commercials skills, this one is good practice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaWA2GbcnJU
    One of my students showed it to me today and I was just about bawling in class, haha!

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  2. All you need is classic detective work! So this memory thing just recently started, so just look at the other things that recently started:
    1: April (starting with April Fool's Day)
    2: Stranger on Imzy
    3: I ran out of Oatmeal Cream Pies
    I think it would seem that one of these things are to blame.

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  3. Not that I think you're having a stroke or anything, but that TED Talk you posted in your last "Pictures and Distractions" was incredible. If you haven't already watched it, Do That Now.

    I'll Wait.

    Okay, no, I really won't, because you're moderating this comment and it will take too long. Let me sum up:

    I forgot what she said, so you need to watch it.

    In other "news", I hate to break it to you, but you have SEVEN flaws, in that you find inappropriate venues for nakedness. Or maybe that's also a quality, because FUNNY (for us, at least). So you're still balanced, except for this recent memory loss. Get that checked, wouldja?

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    Replies
    1. Guys. Do not watch the stroke video ever under any circumstances.

      Once in an English class I was forced to watch it. I had a mild strain of Pneumonia at the time but was forced to go to school anyway because American Education. I had gotten up during the talk to refill my water bottle, and on the way back in the classroom passed out right in front of the video. When I woke up, every person in the class was convinced that I was having a stroke.

      Moral of the story: Do not watch the stroke TED talk. Also, her shirt is terrible.

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    2. I had a massage the other day. A first. And I remembered our good friend Eli and asked the therapist to tell me exactly what articles of clothing she wanted removed. I think she thought I was odd, but I didn't want to give the wrong impression. :-)

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  4. Memory loss is one of the symptoms of anxiety disorder. I'm sure you already knew that, but just in case...

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  5. Am I the only one not totally getting the whole IMZY thing? It seems.... unnecessary on a lot of levels to me. But....forgetting your phone number is not a good thing; it may well be stress, so LISTEN TO CATHIE AND GET SOME SLEEP, will ya?? I need Stranger in my life to provide laughter, so you need to be well!!!

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    Replies
    1. I with you. I guess I'm not hipster enough.

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    2. I didn't get it at first either but now it is becoming one of my favorite spots on the interwebs. I like how easy it is to interact with my home-strangers. If it takes off and goes what the kids are calling mainstream, I could see it replacing most of my social media-ing---especially facebook.

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    3. I signed up and lost interest. I'm here. That's Stranger-y enough for me.

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  6. I have this theory.

    I call it the "memory dump theory". (you may ALL use it, btw..you're welcome)

    The theory is this:

    Every day our brains are bombarded with random pieces of information - some relevant, some not. Our brain, with no direction from us, will file this stuff in the huge cabinets it keeps for such things, except for the obvious things that aren't important, like who the cast members of "Glee" are. Some of the memory dump is done without our input, and some (like seeing old, naked people on accident..oh, wait, that was a mirror, nevermind) like watching Roseanne sing the National Anthem is done with a very active "sweet jeebus my eyes! my ears!" kind of input from us. Point is, memory dumping happens, and it takes work and when our brains are busy being stressed by things like...oh I don't know, LIFE maybe?....the memory dump process is set to "high" and even the most important stuff can get lost in the massive exodus from the brain.

    Solution? Focus on what matters, and only what matters, right now. Court date? Yeah, probably important to remember. When is the next episode of "Fuller House" airing? Yeah, probably not important to remember. Do I have enough product for my fabulous hair? Okay, on the fence with this one...but, I'll go with matters because it's part of who you are.

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    1. I think you are underestimating the importance of Fuller House. But the general point is well-taken. I'm going to publish an article on this theory and claim I came up with it on my own.

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  7. Well Harriet-zy, apparently you need a vacation where all you do is go to yoga classes and meditate to clear your mind of unnecessary distractions. Either that or start using siri, but know your luck she'd turn against you and you'd unwittingly begin the apocalypse brought on by angry AI.

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  8. Not to get you worried about an additional something, buuuuuttttttttttttt..........I forgot A TON when I was pregnant. I was a paralegal at the time, and one of my attorney/friends wanted me to work on something that I had done a huge amount of work on just a few months prior. I honestly had no recollection of it. None. He and I were both laughing so hard because seriously...a TON of hours spent on this thing that I could not recall whatsoever. Could you possibly be in the "family way"????? Cathie and Bob are waiting for grandchildren from you!!!!

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    Replies
    1. This makes so much sense. Eli used to joke all the time about being pregnant, but he has been surprisingly silent on the topic. My guess is that he purposely isn't telling us because of April Fool's Day.

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    2. Right??????!!!!!!

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  9. Is forgetting how to spell a part of this new flaw or was it an old one you conveniently forgot to list?

    Putting had two t's m'dear

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    Replies
    1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aO3Gb5mkwTc

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  10. Are you pregnant??

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    Replies
    1. Please dear God, let this be true!

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    2. In a way, aren't we all pregnant? WITH THE SPIRIT OF GOD.

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  11. You just need to find another quality and then you'll be even.

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  12. I'm pretty sure your forgetting started long before now. You have already forgotten that you were forgetting. What day is garbage day again? Early onset Alzheimer's is a possibility.

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  13. coffee enemas will get rid of your brain fog! I wish I were making this up, and I can't believe I'm writing this in a public place where I know nobody (except that one time I bought the most delicious lemon beef empanada from you at craft lake city and said "hey stranger" all awkward) but I am dead serious and a true believer. and it is not even remotely similar to drinking coffee.. (but if this is too weird for you, cutting way back on grains and processed crap will help a little bit with your brain fog too:)

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    Replies
    1. And now I'm horrified and intrigued all at the same time.

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  14. If you're legitimately concerned about the balance between good qualities and flaws, I think we'd all agree that your hair can take up two spots on the qualities list. It's currently only taking up one spot because it doesn't like to brag.

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  15. Legend has it that Einstein didn't know his phone number either. Don't bother cluttering your mind with stuff you can look up, he said.

    And Einstein had excellent hair.

    Just sayin'

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  16. It is probably the stuffed pork chops or English Trifle I made you on Sunday. Your symptoms should clear up soon....xoxoxo, Cathie

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  17. To much weed...;)
    But it's worth it...amiright???

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  18. Sherlock didn't bother remembering whether the earth or the sun did the orbiting. Simply because it was irrelevant. I like this idea and trust that I can Google most of what I don't remember or never knew.

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