First of all, check out the latest and greatest Strangerville Short, a brain-child of Jolyn Metro.
Second, this happened:
Eli: Becky! Bonjour! Il y a des ours gommeax dons mon pantalon!
Rebecca: You just said "Hello. There are gummy bears in my pants."
Eli: Oh really?
Rebecca: What did you mean to say?
Rebecca: I don't have time for this nonsense right now. I have very important news for you.
Eli: Why do I feel like you're about to tell me you've already moved back in with me and I'm going to find you in my house when I get home from work?
Rebecca: You wish.
Eli: What, then?
Rebecca: I'm getting MARRIED!
Eli: Well it seems I can't talk you out of it.
Rebecca: You can't. And you shouldn't try. Because this is great news.
Eli: So you left me and moved across the country to catch yourself a man and it actually worked?
Rebecca: Well, I don't know if I would put it all that way, but I am getting married.
Eli: And you want to name your first several children after me?
Rebecca: Do you really think subtly slipping that into conversations is actually going to work one day?
Eli: A MAN CAN DREAM.
Rebecca: Listen. I need to ask you a very important thing and I need you to not get offended about it.
Eli: DID SOMEONE TELL YOU ABOUT THE RINGWORM I HAD WHILE WE WERE LIVING TOGETHER?!?
Rebecca: Huh? Ringworm?
Eli: Oh. Never mind. What were you going to say?
Rebecca: I need to know if you'll be my person of honor at my wedding.
Eli: Duh. I was already planning on doing that.
Rebecca: Oh good.
Eli: Why would I be offended by this?
Rebecca: I don't know. Men are weird. I didn't want you to feel like I was emasculating you in some way by giving you a position that is typically reserved for women.
Eli: Honey child. I've been the man of honor at two different weddings already. I basically invented the position.
Rebecca: Why does this not surprise me?
Eli: Now that we've established my role, I have certain duties I need to fulfill.
Rebecca: Like what?
Eli: I need to talk to you about something that might be a little uncomfortable.
Rebecca: I hereby absolve you from the duty of explaining sex to me.
Eli: On the wedding night, the man has certain hopes.
Rebecca: Did you not hear me?
Eli: Passion is a very normal feeling among adults.
Eli: When a man loves a woman very much, he sometimes wants to express that passion in ways that are unfamiliar to the naive.
Rebecca: You know that you are very unqualified to give me this lecture, right?
Eli: Bob and Cathie once read a book to me called "You Were Smaller Than A Dot."
Rebecca: I'm hanging up on you.
Eli: A woman can bear children just by looking at a man for a very long time.
Rebecca: You aren't even saying accurate things anymore.
Eli: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S ACCURATE, YOUNG LADY!?
~It Just Gets Stranger