|An obviously-candid shot of Rebecca and her lucky man.|
Eli: Wait. How did I end up here?
Rebecca: What do you mean?
Eli: How did we get to this store? I don't even remember getting in the car with you.
Rebecca: Hahahaha. What do you think of this one?
Eli: What's it for?
Rebecca: My wedding dress!
Eli: I seriously don't understand how I ended up wedding dress shopping with you. I swear I was just in my house alone and I have absolutely no memory of ending up here looking at wedding dresses.
Rebecca: That's nice. Here. Hold this one, too.
Eli: How did I end up holding 7 wedding dresses in a store with you?
Rebecca: What do you think of these shoes?
Eli: Did you drug me? Are drugs responsible for this?
Rebecca: Eli McCann, you know very well that this is one of your duties as Man of Honor for my wedding. I have come into town so you can go shopping with me.
Eli: No. I have been Man of Honor at two previous weddings and I was required to do nothing of the sort.
Rebecca: What were you asked to do if not help plan the wedding and go wedding dress shopping and weed my flower beds at my house?
Eli: Becky, I invented manipulating friends into doing yard work. That isn't going to work on me.
Rebecca: Ugh. Fine. But the rest of the stuff is a basic Man of Honor requirement.
Eli: At my last two weddings all I was asked to do was look super good in a suit and make a lot of uncomfortable jokes at the wedding dinner party. And explain sex to the bride.
Rebecca: Ok, well I'm certain that nobody asked you to do that last part--
Eli: THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY LESS VALUABLE--
Rebecca: But all I want is for you to help plan the wedding, pick out my wedding dress, and then all of the typical wedding ceremony stuff.
Eli: And what does that include?
Rebecca: Mainly just walking in front of me and dropping rose petals on the ground.
Eli: Um . . . I think you're thinking of the flower girl.
Rebecca: No. I'm pretty sure this is your job. You carry a little cute basket full of white rose petals and you walk in first and drop them on the ground.
Eli: Yeah. That's the flower girl's job.
Rebecca: I'm pretty sure the flower girl does something else.
Eli: Her title is literally "flower girl." They could not have been more descriptive about her role.
Rebecca: Oh, and when you walk in and before you start throwing rose petals you'll loudly announce with a wave of the arm, "may I present her royal elegance, lady of the late, minister of the town, her highness, Rebecca."
Eli: That doesn't even make sense.
Rebecca: And you have to say "Rebecca" with a French accent or it won't sound right.
Eli: Have you run any of this by other grownups?
Rebecca: Look! This dress has bells all over it! Here. Hold this one. I'm going to try it on.
Eli: You should sell tickets to this thing.
And now, your Strangerville Short of the week.
~It Just Gets Stranger