Tuesday, August 8, 2017

How Do You Know When It's Time For An Intervention?

As a follow-up to last week's post in which I implied that Matt may need an intervention if he allows one more puppy into his life, I give you the following:

This weekend I went to Jackson Hole Wyoming because I'm basically a cowboy now and I wanted to experience having my heart stop multiple times because DID YOU KNOW THEY JUST LET CATTLE STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY IN SOUTHERN IDAHO WHY DO THEY DO THIS. So I asked Matt if he could take Mr. Doodle for me for a couple of days.

Matt obliged and sort of acted like he wasn't really that excited about it but then at negative eleventy o clock in the morning on Friday he texted me and asked when Duncan was coming over and I thought that maybe he was just trying to plan his day but then I found out that he was just working from home and it didn't matter when Duncan came over and he just wanted to know because Matt wants ALL THE PUPPIES.

Then I drove to Jackson Wyoming and almost murdered all of the cows of America with my car and recklessness.

On Sunday I texted Matt to find out how things were going and he responded with this picture:



It's kind of hard to tell but there are five dogs in that picture (Duncan is that black mass just under Renley).

Then I got a text from Adam that said "I just dropped off two more puppies at Matt's Doggy Daycare" so I responded and suggested that maybe it was time for an intervention but Adam responded that he didn't understand what the problem was because at Matt's house there were "more dogs than people--just the way God intended."

So basically I'm all alone on thinking that this is getting out of control and I remember a time not that long ago when we had ZERO puppies between the three of us and now we have eleventy and Matt keeps texting me pictures of rescue dogs and trying to manipulate me into getting another one which is exactly how Adam now has two.

Then an hour later Matt posted this on Instagram:


Observations:

1. These dogs look like they are about to drop a bomb boy band album.

2. I really hope their boy band group is called "The Pound." (Please suggest other options)

3. RENLEY.

4. You can tell that Mr. Ollie Pants is exactly 100% over all of this company at his house.

5. I have a black friend who texted me on Sunday evening when she saw this picture: "Duncan is me in every picture my white friends have ever posted of us together."

6. I'm actually not sure if it's ok for me to share number 5.

7. I just texted that friend and she said it was ok for me to share it and she asked that I add that this picture might have the most diversity out of any picture that has ever come from Utah.

8. I didn't notice until I saw this picture that Duncan is now the biggest dog and this makes me sad because HE'S MY BABY.

On a side note, Duncan has basically been asleep since I picked him up on Sunday evening. I don't think his energy levels are a match for The Pound.

~It Just Gets Stranger

20 comments:

  1. Yay puppies! I get how you're feeling about Duncan growing up. My 5 month old little girl is now taller than my 11 year old son when she stands on her hind legs . . . HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE???

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    1. I read this comment as if it was about two children several times trying to make sense of it. But how could a baby be taller than an 11 year old? Why is she calling them hind legs? Then I finally understood.

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  2. True story - this past weekend we had two of the little munchkins over for a weekend at the g-parents before they have to go back to school.

    Since it was surface-of-the-sun hot outside, I decided to take them into town for a little shopping.

    Our first stop was at Tractor Supply - if you don't know what that is, or are lucky enough to live near one go ask Uncle Google about them...I'll wait...*hums to herself, spots cobweb on the fan, ignores it* You back? See what I mean? TS is a monument to all things farm/ranch.

    It's magical, even when there are no baby chicks or ducklings to be had, but this day there were both.

    I told the littles we could stop to see the baby fowl, but little did I know that our local animal shelter was set up inside with crates filled with puppies(!!) of all shapes, sizes, and ages.

    One giant Lab (Ha! Ha! If she was a Lab, then I am Beyonce..but don't tell anyone) stared at me with huge, soulful, brown eyes under heavy lashes. She was extremely calm and sweet in the midst of the chaos.

    It was love at first sight, for both of us. She walked up to me, leaned into my leg, closed her eyes, and I swear to clothespin jeebus, she friggin' sighed........sighed, like "ahhh...at long last, you have come to take me home".

    The shelter volunteer seized the moment to tell me what a love-bug this big girl was, and how calm and sweet she was. I didn't need to be told either of those things, by the way. She also said she was a Lab-mix...with horse....or Great Pyrenees...definitely one of those.

    I don't think I heard two words as I stared into the face of the gentlest soul I'd met in a long time.

    Finally, the littles got antsy and began babbling about the promised shopping trip and ice cream, neither of which I had any recollection of at that moment, and then two little hands grabbed me and dragged me out of the store.

    Yes, children had to drag their full-grown grandma out of the store amidst protestations and promises that "I'll feed her, and walk her, and take care of her, I proooommmisssse!!"

    So, yeah, Matt definitely needs an intervention. I recommend two puppies per month until he's cured.

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    1. You went back and got your doggie soulmate...right???

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    2. Alas, dearie, I did not. My other soulmate-doggie, the sweet white GSD we rescued a few years ago, is a very possessive mistress. She would not appreciate an interloper in her domain. But, I was oh. so. tempted.

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    3. I have a friend with two lab/great pyrenees puppies who melt my heart every time I visit. They are a lovable and SO FLUFFY mix!

      Your story also reminds me of why I do not visit pet stores/animal shelters right now. Someday when I'm mature enough, but not now...

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    4. Noooo! You left without her??? *SOB*

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  3. If I give you my phone number to give Matt do you think he could start texting my husband pictures of rescue dogs and calling with his southern accent to explain why we must have one in our lives and other such manipulative tactics? Please? I think this could work. Signed, Desperate for Doggies in Nebraska.

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  4. I feel your pain about cows in the road on the way to Jackson. About 15 years ago I was driving up to Jackson with my younger sister and her friends. We had 9 people in a suburban when we hit a steer that ran out in front of us. Luckily no people were hurt but the steer had to be put down...and no it wasn't in open range so I wasn't at fault.

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  5. I think this is reaching crazy cat lady status. Except replace "crazy lady" with "old soul Mississippian" and "cat" with "dog." Are you sure there aren't more dogs hidden in drawers and under the kitchen sink in his house?

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  6. I swear Matt is the adult version of my 5yo son. Liam would take EVERY SINGLE DOG HE COMES ACROSS home if he could. His sister is afraid of dogs (all shapes and sizes) so Liam's doggy dreams cannot come true just yet...

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  7. Matt is my spirit animal. How lucky you two are to have one another as friends. I love your friendship. It seems really special.

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  8. I think I'm out of the "Pound" loop . . . . Who is the lovely creature front and center, the one with the perfect eyebrows!

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    1. That is Sir Toby Tucker. And he does have perfect eyebrows. He's a welcome addition to the boy band.

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  9. Okay first, you have not told us the name of the mystery fifth doggy.

    And second, I'm from southeastern Idaho and my friend once hit a cow going 65 on one of the country roads one blackfoot and broke both his wrists and a his knee cap. Needless to say the cow died and blackfoot has open range laws which means it was LEGAL for the farmer to let his cow out on the highway. And the farmer actually SUED my friend for killing his property. So my friend had three broken limbs and a court case to deal with! Insanity.

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    1. This is why we hate all lawyers. ALL of them.

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    2. Sir Toby Tucker. He's in the Instagrams.

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  10. I saw this picture on Instagram and my very first thought after the boy band one because duh was to wonder what kind of magical powers Matt has that he could get five dogs to all face the same direction and hold it long enough to take a picture that isn't the least bit blurry.

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    1. Wish I could claim magical powers. It took many photos and blending two of them together using digital photoshop magic to get the final image.

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  11. Oh, also, if cows wandering in the road bothers you, you should maybe stay out of India.

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