Thursday, June 28, 2018

Elk in the Woods

As you know, earlier this week I DECIDED TO BE GAY. Now every morning when I wake up the soundtrack to Rent is blasting through my house from speakers I haven't yet been able to locate and Judy Garland keeps calling me.

No one warned me this would happen.

Skylar keeps telling me that even though he doesn't support my lifestyle, he still loves me. Which is true. He absolutely does not support my lifestyle. This fall he's starting medical school so I have a very sad feeling that I'm going to be supporting his for the next eleventy years to come.

Matt has been texting me variations of "WHY DID I HAVE TO FIND OUT YOU WERE GAY ON YOUR BLOG I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND," even though I met Matt over four years ago when mutual friends of ours set us up on a date.

By the way, for our first date we watched Jesus Camp together. I knew Matt was different when he sided with the camp leaders by the end of the documentary, screaming at me in his strong southern drawl, "WELL WHAT'S WRONG WITH JESUS?"

Except the way he said "Jesus" it was a much longer name than I had learned growing up. It was more like JeeeeeauauauasssssuauauauIreckonuauauauas.


You people have been kind, and that matters. Not just to me. I had decided it didn't matter how anyone reacted to the BREAKING NEWS. I know who I am, and I like who I am because I'm truly fabulous.

But you being so publicly kind matters to people who are where I was five or ten years ago. Or to some teenagers out there who might be feeling like they don't have much to live for. And it definitely matters to JeeeeeauauauasssssuauauauIreckonuauauauas.

So, thank you for that.

With all of the drama of late, we let a Strangerville slip on by. So please enjoy below a fun hunting story, plus Meg talking about getting pregnant because she doesn't like it when the attention is off of her.

I swear. Every time I decide to be gay she hurries and gets knocked up.


This time in Strangerville, Meg still refuses to give Eli her children; Eli becomes very gay; and a woman loses her husband in the mountains.
Story:
Elk in the Woods, by Robyn Livermore (music by Ben Sound)
Production by Eli McCann and Meg Walter


~It Just Gets Stranger

34 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I don't know. He's never told me he's gay.

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    2. MATT WHY DID WE HAVE TO FIND OUT ON ELI'S BLOG THAT YOU'RE GAY? I expected a handmade cake delivered to me at work for this kind of announcement. It's OK Jesus still loves you.

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    3. Eli didn't HAVE to out Matt. Of course he's family. Have you seen him smize in some of Eli's pics? Flawless. It's physically impossible for a straight guy to do that. Just can't. Matt could teach a course.

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    4. Upon seeing Nicole's comment, Matt just called me and screamed into the phone "YOU OUTED ME HOW COULD YOU." Except each of those words was 9 syllables. Then he told me to tell everyone he's so upset that he's leaving the state and taking Ollie with him (he's on his way to visit a friend in Vegas). Then before hanging up on me he asked me for several favors and told me all about his "cute new bathing" suit he's going to wear when he gets there. So things are rocky at the moment.

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    5. Matt is one of my favorite people.

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    6. I'm with Krishelle on this one.

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    7. Suzzz you have me confused with Skylar. He's the baker. Common mistake.

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    8. Exactly- I want a tastefully decorated room with an embroidered pillow in it for the announcement.

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    9. Also - completely off topic - I have a co-worker who is starting an instagram profile for his new puppy and said he isn't sure if he wants to call him Ollie P or Ollie the Collie. I told him he has to call him Ollie the Collie because I already have an Ollie Pants in my life and Ollie P is just too close to that.

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    10. Matt all big announcements deserve homemade cakes...make Skylar make the cake and then you can just pretend it's yours. Matt please don't leave the state, living in Utah is depressing enough as it is, we need you to help maintain taste levels.

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    11. Can I also have cake? I mean, I'm not upset by any of this news, or the lack of handmade cards, I just like cake. I'll even share it with you The Suzzzz.

      Except, I'm in Alaska, so it's a bit of a drive. BUT. IF YOU COME TO ALASKA WE CAN EAT CAKE AND WATCH WHALES AND LOOK AT GLACIERS.

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  2. You know someone is going to try and make you turn in your gay card because you hate Glee. Be prepared.

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    Replies
    1. Well according to the bylaws, you CAN hate all things Glee and still keep your Gay Card as long as you: A.) stay physically fit, and B.) have a fluffy little dog. Seems a bit arbitrary and maybe not fair for everyone, but them's the rules. Been that way for millennia.

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  3. As someone who had to go through an awkward, "I'm gay" conversation followed by more than one awkward conversation about dating a dude, followed by more, "but that doesn't make me only straight!" conversations, I understand your point about how reading these stories help.

    And, honestly, reading your story is something I've done about 4 times since you posted it. It made my heart so happy, but also I understood the fear and concern after hearing about others' journeys that did not go so well.

    In essence, I'm ecstatic that you feel so comfortable telling us about how gay you are, and that it is a positive thing in your life.

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  4. Not related to this post... I'm getting a pedi so I can't listen to the podcast yet... But. I was reading through some of your Palau posts and ran across one where you posted a pic of the senior missionary couple you got to know while there. I was so excited to see them; I sat next to them at the last Strangerville Live. Lovely people!

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  5. If Meg won’t give you her children, the least she can do is name her son after you. Right?!?!!

    As a fellow woman who is also pregnant with my third child, I appreciated ALL of Meg’s pregnancy talk. Zofran is a miracle drug.

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    Replies
    1. Are YOU naming your child after Eli???

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    2. It’s sctually a requirement of reading Stranger that first born children must be named Eli regardless of gender. Because it’s 2018 and we don’t gender our progeny until they are old enough to express themselves.

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    3. Except in Rachel’s case because this is her 3rd child.....

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    4. Full disclosure, my first child WAS born after I began reading Stranger, but I didn’t want to come on too strong. I was afraid Eli might use his lawyer skills to get a restraining order against me. AND THEN ALL OF MY CHANCES TO SEE HIS HAIR IN REAL LIFE AND SPONTANEOUSLY SING PAUL SIMON SONGS WITH HIM WOULD HAVE BEEN RUINED.

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  6. All this time I thought Matt was your boyfriend and Skylar was just another beautiful gay man I can't have... Also it's pride month and I'm in SF and y'all should be here.

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  7. Replies
    1. ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO DECIDE WHO HAS TO NAME HER BABY AFTER ME?!

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    2. The answer is clear - they both should!

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    3. Meg, I’m 35 weeks - due in August!
      So if it were a case of who is born first my child would win...but unfortunately I’m having a girl this time around. So the clear choice for a direct namesake is your progeny ;)

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    4. Rachel, clearly you can name your child “Ellie”.
      Ellie Skylar WhateverYourLastNameIs.
      You’re welcome.

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  8. I honestly thought you and Matt came out on the blog a few years ago when you two had an adorable family Christmas card taken with Ollie and said it was "the gayest thing you've ever done." I'm happy to hear about how much peace you have gained! Now, please turn up the Rent soundtrack so we can ALL belt out "Take Me as I Am".

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  9. I was very disappointed by the mysterious phone call. How rude! All that build up for something truly spectacular and NOTHING! Sigh, oh well. I am really glad that you and Meg are alright though, so I guess my relief that I didn't inadvertently witness something horrific from miles away makes up for the disappointment.

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  10. Text conversation with my husband: (Background, he calls you my boyfriend and I used to reply with "I'm pretty sure he's gay" then started going along with it) (more background... I'm a pharmacist and he's a stay at home dad)
    Me: My blogger boyfriend finally came out on his blog!
    Him: I'm sorry sweetie. I'm sure this is tough for you... but you still have me!
    Me: I guess... But he was a LAWYER. With amazing hair!
    Him: They always are!
    Me: Once up the barrel, twice down the side.

    Thanks for being you, Eli! This blog makes so many people smile. Now your truth with live within everyone who reads it!

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  11. I'm so confused about why she got out of the car because the oil light came on... Huh?! You have like a month, or even two, after it comes on before you should bring it in. I couldn't even keep listening. And was her husband just going to sleep with the elk? What was the plan??? Too many plot holes!!

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    1. I believe the oil light she was talking about was an oil pressure/oil low light, not a "time to change your oil" light. Towards the end she mentioned she had punctured the oil pan which probably meant she was leaking oil and running low. This light came on in my car once about 10 year ago and when I didn't pay attention to it, I ended up needing an engine replacement, so... it's not one to just ignore.
      I agree that this wasn't the strongest story and the poor audio quality didn't help, but I appreciated some of Eli's questions that added a bit more dimension and drew out more detail.

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  12. I selfishly hope Sklyar decides to go into Pediatrics so I can see him around Primary's. I'm excited to possibly see him around upper campus this fall!!

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