Sunday, May 19, 2019


Ok look. Game of Thrones is ending tonight and I feel like I've been very patient with its existence because the HBO boobs bring y'all so much joy so I haven't complained about it hardly at all.

Every Sunday night when Skylar watches it I have to leave the house because the sounds of Game of Thrones stress me out to a point that I truly don't need when I'm already experiencing the Sunday Night Scaries.

I don't complain. You guys know I don't complain about anything. I am so supportive of Skylar and all of you rotting your brains through mindless violence.

But then yesterday Skylar told me the millenials have started a petition to get Game of Thrones to redo the last season because the dragons aren't fiery enough or Gandalf died too soon or they don't like how Jabba the Spock was portrayed driving the starprise galactica through Hogwarts and I'm putting my foot down here.

A. Millenials, you can't solve everything through petitions. I venture to say you've never solved anything through petitions. Stop with the petitions. I once signed a petition at my high school job because a boy got fired for mooning the supervisor and we all wanted him to get his job back and the supervisor called to tell me if I didn't rat out the person who started the petition I would be fired next and I screamed that person's name before she even finished the question so the point is PETITIONS DON'T WORK. EVER.

B. When Skylar watches Game of Thrones on Sunday nights it actually makes me resent TV and this is unacceptable. Don't ruin the most important relationship of my life. Or my relationship with Skylar.

C. Last week Meg wrote an article about how she waited to tune in to watch only the last season of Game of Thrones for the sole purpose of being able to understand the jokes and if you create a surprise extra last season her work will have all been in vain and Meg is a nice person so stop attacking her.

D. I don't have it in me to be patient through another season of this. I already paced myself with a May 19, 2019 finish line in mind. You don't get to fake me out and tell me I have to run another lap as I sprint to the finish line, bleeding from my nipples because bodies are gross and we weren't meant to run. I had a high school track coach who did that to me once during a track workout and you want to know what ended up happening to him? I'll tell you! I was not pleased and I frowned when he next saw me. Do you really want something like that to happen again?

So, no. You don't get to type your name into a website and make another season of this happen. It's over. You had your shot. You need to move on now. There are real victims here, and those victims are me and Meg and probably boobs.

While you think about what you've done, please enjoy some Strangerville, featuring tasteful nudity.

This time in Strangerville, Meg is at war. With a rat. Also a young man recounts his heartbreaking experience of losing a parent to cancer.
[Repeat] Voicemails, by Tyler Wood (Narration by Jolyn Metro, Music by Eli McCann)
Production by Eli McCann & Meg Walter

~It Just Gets Stranger


  1. Replies
    1. Wait, have you named your eye wrinkles, too?

    2. Eli- Millenial does not mean "young" - We've already moved past millenials to Gen Z. I know this is hard to accept - it was very hard for me to accept when Gen X became the responsible adult generation . . . although I don't think Baby Boomers will ever accept that either.

  2. My two daughters (who may or may not be millennials, I'm not sure of the cut-off year)have been binge-watching GoT lately and complaining bitterly about every single episode this last season so that they will be in fine form to super complain about this very last one (which now that I am writing, has already aired but I don't want to give away any spoilers). I have told them eleventy million times that I READ THE BOOKS long before they were even old enough to watch the show and this is supposed to confer superior status upon me but they mostly just say that I didn't watch the show properly because I wouldn't rewatch every episode because I had a job and stuff to do. Anyway, I tried to warn them about last episodes by telling about the sorrow of the last episode of Seinfeld, Friends, and basically any show that I have ever had any attachment to but they refuse to listen. Last episodes are always a let down to someone or everyone.

  3. I came here to say this. You are SUCH a millennial. You:
    - have a blog
    - watch the bachelor "ironically"
    - have a podcast
    - have insta accounts for your dog
    - are gay
    - claim not to be a millennial
    H*ck, you should be King of the Millennials you are such a millennial. ALL HAIL ELI.

    1. Long may he reign.

    2. Which means Finch is either a Baby Boomer or Gen X

  4. To King Eli of House Whittlebottom, First of His Name, Breaker of Clothing and Father of Puppies! Cheers!