Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Silly to be Afraid

I'm getting married next week. That's really strange.

I started this blog in 2007. I did it to "house my thoughts, especially the strange ones."

I don't think I contemplated that this site would see me through what it's seen me through. Some college immaturity. Some law school immaturity. Some post law school immaturity.

I don't think I thought this site would acknowledge some of my fears. My loneliness. My confusion. My hope. My miracle.

I'm not sure I had any clue this site would know times when I thought I could never really be happy. Times when I thought no one could ever really understand me. Times when I thought there wasn't much hope.

I don't think when I created this site I had any idea I would one day have to grapple with whether or not to inform this site that I was different. That I would have to one day decide how to explain it. That I would have to hope the people who read this site wouldn't hate me for being whatever I was. Whatever I am.

But it happened. After years of terror, I did it. I told you that I was different, and that I decided that was ok. I told you that I found love. I told you I was happy. Many of you stayed and expressed your humanity. Many of you stayed and expressed your version of Christianity. That made a difference for me.

I feel incredibly lucky. I feel lucky to have the family I have. I feel lucky to have the friends I have. I feel lucky that the best person in the entire world wants to marry me.

I feel lucky that I met someone who is perpetually kind.

I feel lucky that I know someone who worries about other people to the point that I roll my eyes over it sometimes.

I feel lucky that I know someone who keeps me up late nearly every night because I like talking to him so much that I don't want to go to sleep.

I feel lucky that I met someone who constantly makes me think I should be better without making me feel like I need to be better.

I love him. He makes me feel like it was silly to ever be afraid.











~It Just Gets Stranger

44 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. This made me spit out my coffee I laughed so hard. In a meeting where I should have been listening and not on my phone. Now I am embarrassed. It was worth it.

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  2. Eli had me all teary eyed.

    Then Skylar made me laugh instead.

    Thanks for sharing some of your lives with us.

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  3. Y'all (I do even say y'all) ((Texas)) take such great pictures.

    I'm so happy for both of you.

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  4. We're all lucky that you chose to share all that with us, but most importantly that you chose to share your hair. Thanks and congratulations!

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  5. So happy you're happy! And he is all that! ❤❤❤❌⭕❌⭕

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  6. We really do love you! You should never be afraid to be you. You are a great person, I've never met you, but I definitely feel like I know you and Skylar (and Cathy). Your happiness is radiant. Share your happiness, you never know who you could be helping through their own struggles to find peace with themselves.

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  7. Love these!!! And love this post. I'm so glad that I've been here to witness all of the immaturity, the hope, and the miracle. Thank you for choosing to share with us, Eli! SO EXCITED FOR YOU AND SKYLAR! XOXO

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  8. you guys...I'm not crying, it's allergies, I swear!

    I'm so happy for you both! I'm wishing you an eternity of wedded bliss and all the comfort that finding "your person" brings. Can't wait to see those wedding pictures!

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  9. I love that we get to know you even a little Eli! You are an amazing human (well your written version of you, which I’m sure is not exaggerated ;) ). I am so happy you found Skylar and that the two of you will be spending yours lives with each other! Can’t wait for the wedding pictures! I wish you both the best day and a lifetime of happiness!!!

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  10. I was so afraid that this was going to be a "Goodbye for now" post.

    Congratulations to you and your families and your hair and Duncan who has to be the luckiest dog in the world!

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  11. It's interesting to feel invested in someone's life from afar, having never met. You've allowed us to grow with you. Thank you for sharing your glorious and messy and beautiful love-filled life with us. It's been real. I'm SO damn happy you found your person. Your babies will have fabulous hair. ;)

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  12. I was fully expecting a “I’ve got cold feet and not the I need two pairs of socks kind!!” post, but this is even better! You deserve this happiness, embrace it!

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  13. I love the pictures and post!
    Someone on here had pointed out your lack of hand holding skills and so ever since I have to check how you’re doing the hand holding and I would like to suggest lessons! I just can’t not see the straight fingers. 👀 😁😂
    I love you Eli (& Skylar)

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  14. Nothing sweeter. So happy for you- and for us because, well, YOU!

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  15. Your writing is truly a gift. Thank you for sharing it and your experiences with is. I hope your wedding is wonderful!

    Chaun

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  16. I just want to know if you're going to raise chickens and have your own Queen of Colors? Do you already own snuggies? How do you feel about wooden blocks with words on them? Is Jane invited to the wedding--because she should be.

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  17. It's hard to believe how much I have watched you grow. Please register for matching snuggies.

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  18. I am truly happy for you both and the pictures are amazing! BUT...

    it is seriously throwing me off that Skylar is wearing your sweater in one picture. Just one. So odd. Did he get a chill...for just a minute?

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  19. Blog posts like this are what make the internet more than just a dumpster fire. I'm so happy for you and Skylar!

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  20. Is this wedding going to be videoed for all of your stranger friends? Pretty pretty please?

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  21. #lifegoals #i'mnotcryingyou'recrying #2007Eliwouldbeproud #probablyalsoinshock #butstillproud

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  22. This is so beautiful.

    And I write romance novels for a living.

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  23. Super cute pictures! Thanks for being real with us so we can be real too. And just so you know, I almost had a panic attack the day I got married because commitment and big scary choices and the only thing that calmed me down was thinking "but it's Cory" (my husband) and now we've been married for over 12 years, so if Skylar can help push away fear that's a good omen :)

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  24. This is everything! It has been a pleasure to join you on your journey. In some way, I feel like we are all marrying Skylar! I wish you the very best and a happy, joyful marriage filled with good health and wonderful friends.

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  25. Yes! Great point about the wedding gifts!!!

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  26. I can’t wait till you have children and can brag about their incomprehensible accomplishments!

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  27. Congrats on you and Skylar's upcoming wedding!

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  28. Let me just leave this right here <3

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  29. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! I started reading this blog after the snuggie texts, when I was 17 and a senior in high school. It has been a pleasure to follow your journey and has often helped me to reflect on my own. You are just enough older than me to seem wise through experience, and yet close enough to my age to feel relatable. I have read so many posts on this blog that resonate with me and my own experiences as I've gotten older. So I like many am eternally grateful that you decided to share with us.

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  30. Well I feel lucky to have found your blog, and enriched by the lessons I've learned from your insights and, sometimes rambling, hilarity.
    You and Skylar are clearly made for each other (I mean, matching outfits aside) and I think everyone wishes the best for you both.
    "KEEP CALM... AND GET MARRIED" (not yelling, caps are just the way it's done 😉)

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  31. DAMN ONION NINJAS!

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  32. If you become parents, god help us all. June Snapple for President.

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  33. Congratulations!!

    I have a wish for you as you think about your next chapter - can you go way back in the archives and give hilarious updates on some of your posts. I imagine some of the college and post-college posts might have some nuggets of gold that are worth revisiting :)

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  34. You know we're all waiting on baited breath for those GORGEOUS wedding photos! Include us in whatever way is comfortable for you! Also, I think the Queen of Colors should be the flower girl. Just saying.

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  35. Eli, I have few heroes in my life but you are one. Your bravery, combined with a wicked sense of humor and a willingness to share your innermost thoughts, has helped me through some very trying times. You deserve as much love as Skylar can give. Thank you for being you.

    Linda

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  36. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

    I sure hope Blogspot can handle emojis.

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  37. I'm so happy for you Eli and Skylar!! This is like a royal wedding that I actually care about! 😍
    I'm so glad you found your match and found peace with who you are.

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  38. I went past all the comments, so it may have been answered before. How come, in all the photos are you wearing the brown belt and in the next picture he is wearing the brown belt. This went on for quite a few pictures and made me laugh. Is there a meaning about this?

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  39. I am sure I speak for many when I say that I cannot express how happy I am for you and Sky. My family has loved Sky for years, and seeing you two together and so happy means the world to me. I truly believe you were/are made for each other. I am so glad that you decided to say, "Shalom" to him and that he was not foolish to Passover the man that would be his perfect partner. Blessings on your marriage today. - Dani

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