Sunday, March 8, 2020

Girl Scout

Yesterday I tweeted this thing that has gone viral. I don't understand how Twitter works but I think this means I'm the president of the Philippines now.

I had just left the gym and decided to stop by the grocery store on my way home to buy stuff to make pizza. When I pulled up I saw the girl scouts out front at a table selling Girl Scout cookies.

Like many people, I have a very abusive relationship with Girl Scout cookies. They enter my life for a mere few weeks every year. I take myself to the brink of Type 2 diabetes. And then they suddenly disappear without warning.

As I started walking toward the table of Girl Scout cookies I thought that maybe I wouldn't go down that road this year. Maybe if I didn't start the cycle of abuse in the first place I wouldn't end up gutted with abandonment next month.

But as I was contemplating this, and right when I got about ten feet from the table, I saw out of the corner of my eye a man start walking from another direction, also toward the cookies. He had a huge grin on his face. Probably late 40s. He was rubbing his hands together with a very "let's make a deal" energy. A bounce in his step. He looked like he was coming home.

He was about as far from the table when he said it as I was.

The dude SHOUTED "my bitches are BACK."


It was truly jarring. Like, it was sort of the last thing I expected anyone to say. My mind suddenly rebooted. The six or so other people who were all standing around in front of the grocery store froze and looked at him. I opened my mouth to say something, but then really didn't know what to say.

It was unclear who he was calling "bitches." If it was the Girl Scouts, well obviously that was terrible. If it was the cookies, I mean that's kind of funny (don't @ me), but totally inappropriate to say to a bunch of 12 year olds (is that how old Girl Scouts are?). Either way, he shouldn't have said it and I don't know what could have possibly made him think this was a fine way to approach a group of Girl Scouts.

Whatever it was, before anyone else could say anything, and really only a second after he had shouted the statement, this Girl Scout standing behind the table looked at him and just yelled, "No. Walk away." Her tone was so full of confidence and sass. It was the most perfectly delivered line I have ever heard.

This dude completely froze. He just stopped walking. His face went bright red. His mouth was sort of gaping open. He did this very awkward and stilted nod, almost apologetic, abruptly turned around, and shuffled back to his car at like 6-minute-mile pace. The girl just death stared him all the way through his walk of shame.

I don't even know how to explain to you how perplexing the whole thing was. I ended up walking into the store and the entire time I was shopping I was just trying to process what had happened. I kept replaying it over and over and wondering if I had misheard or misunderstood something.

Who was this guy? Did he just make the biggest miscalculation of his life? Is he going to move away and start a new life now? Is that girl going to be president one day? Can I adopt her? Can she adopt me? Can I start a cult to follow her?

Eventually I decided that based on that encounter alone I should probably go ahead and buy some cookies so I stopped by the table on my way out. They couldn't take cards (which surprised me because I had seen previously on Twitter people saying the Girl Scouts weren't cash only anymore). I didn't have cash on me so I couldn't buy anything. But I did take the opportunity to address the earlier encounter.

Two adult women were standing behind the girl (the troop leaders, I assume). I said to the girl, "I saw how you handled that man earlier. That was really really impressive. Your troop is pretty lucky to have you."

And this girl. This Goddess of a human. The one I'm for sure going to worship if ever she starts a religion. Without stuttering. With perfect comedic timing. She responded:

"You gotta be pretty tough if you're gonna go out in THIS outfit."

Her leaders both burst out laughing. I made eye contact with them and they shook their heads at me, all of us had tears.

It was honestly one of the top five funniest and most bizarre things I have ever experienced in my life.

I really hope we can book this kid for Strangerville.

Speaking of which, you may recall Tracy, who took the Traveling Snuggie to her first round of chemo. Many of you reached out and expressed love and concern for her. We caught up with Tracy and she shared her amazing story, including how much your support has meant to her. Please check it out on this week's Strangerville.


This time in Strangerville, we’re trying not to give you Corona Virus. And a woman receives a traveling Snuggie the day before starting chemotherapy.
Story
Chemo, by Tracy Emmett (music by Ayla Nereo)
Production by Eli McCann & Meg Walter


~It Just Gets Stranger

29 comments:

  1. Now I need cookies...and there are definitely no Girl Scouts or Girl Scout Cookies in Belarus. 😞
    Another cult, really Eli?! What would Duncan think?!
    Happy International Women’s Day!!

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    1. Hi Kellie,
      If you're willing to pay the shipping you can have Girl Scout Cookies in Belarus! ;-) Here's a link to order them:
      https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/sophie145388

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    2. I ordered from Sophie - thank you!!

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    3. Thank you so much, Kellie! I hope you enjoy! :-)

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  2. I came here from Twitter to read your full account. Not disappointed! GS's can be as young as 8 years old. And troop leaders don't man tables w.them their mom's do. But omg, if ever a moment needed to be captured on video! I wonder if they were in view of the stores security camera's? There'd be no sound. But the visual would be enuf!

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    1. Girl Scouts are forhrade k-12 and yes leaders are do man the tables with them

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    2. Yes, leaders do help at booths.

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    3. I have a troop of 5-6 year olds! This girl is bad ass! What an awesome story!!

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    4. Can we say they “staff” the tables? Seems like an important word shift given the overarching point of the story.

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  3. Thank you for the update on Tracy!!

    And I said it before and I will say it again. Just what level of stalker is it that I want the mom’s phone number? You know, can make her start teaching workshops on how to raise your girls powerful and strong, and so I can just generally go on mom dates with her and feed off her genius.

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  4. I did the same thing. Dude, you’re hilarious.

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  5. Oh, I love that kid! I grew up in Girl Scouting and I'm still a member at 72. Good for her! Thanks for the laugh. I gotta go buy out some little girl's whole stock of Samoas tomorrow.

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  6. First of all, thank you for writing this, as a girl scout mom I truely appreciate it. Now, this kind of sel assurance, confidence and kick ass attitude all rolled into one is what the Girl Scouts are all about. Through positive roll modeling and an almost limitless offerings of classes and seminars, the GS strives to make a leader out of each and every girl. I've experienced it myself, by being a witness to my daughter's transformation. I think signing her up was my best decision ever, and she is loving every moment. I haven't read the other comments but I can tell you we can have girls as young as kindergartners and as old as seniors in high school selling cookies door to door and in booths (mine is 10). As far as the payment, it depends on wether the troop has access to a square device and an account linked to the troop's bank account.
    Again, thank you.

    Yaji

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  7. The cost went up this year and none of my dealers warned me until it was time to pay up! I mean - I would have still ordered them but $1 more a box adds up when you're not expecting it to!

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  8. Ooooh, and you have a podcast! Score.

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    Replies
    1. Welcome to the Strangerhood!

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  9. Came here from Twitter and spent hours reading and listening. I feel like I've found my people.

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  10. Tracy's story is one of my favorite Strangerville stories you've done. What an incredible person and incredible community this is.

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  11. What a beautiful podcast. It’s great to see that your idea to pass the snuggy has had such a positive influence. It’s great to hear a good story. So happy for Tracy. Hope the best for her in her trials with this awful disease.

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  12. I gotta do this; the humans at the Girl Scout table? They heroine the table. People, they heroine the table.

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  13. My granddaughter is a Brownie Girl Scout (8) and I'm one of her leaders. I can absolutely see her coming back at someone like that. We're teaching these girls to be strong and independent women. What a great story though! I wish I'd been there to see it .... not that I ever want to see another cookie booth again. Or at least not until next year. Thanks for sharing it.

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  14. https://www.reddit.com/r/wokekids/comments/fgdpm2/you_guys/

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  15. Finally listened to the podcast this morning at the gym. Made a fool out of myself (again) weeping on the treadmill. Made me wonder if tears carry the Coronavirus . . .

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  16. Thank you everyone for all of your love and support. I will never be able to thank you all and Eli enough for helping to get me through some of the hardest days of my life. ♡ Now,I need to go find my dealer for some thin mints!!

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  17. Can we all be quarantined at Meg’s house? Just heard about general conference closing to visitors. We’d planned on going and had tickets, but I’d hate to be the carrier that wiped out the Quorum of the Twelve.

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  18. I love this post about as much as you love that Girl Scout.
    Just fric'n make her PRESIDENT already. She's got the stuff.

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