I talked about this on Strangerville recently, so I'm probably sorry if this is redundant, but I decided to get a new puppy for Skylar for Christmas.

I really intended to make this a surprise. Truly. My dream was to, one day in December, tell him to get in the car, take him to some place, and pick up a puppy. Skylar has been begging for years that we get a new dog and I have been resistant because I still remember puppy training with Duncan in 2017 and that trauma has not left me.

You guys. I don't know if you've ever raised a puppy. I don't know most of you. But let me tell you now: puppy training is a nightmare. Meg, who has birthed 3 children, even told me once that puppies are harder than new-born babies. This means I now know what it's like to be a parent, and then some. Don't you even dare tell me "just wait until you have kids." I already hated that goddamn insensitivity before this post. I especially hate it after getting a second dog.

During my time of great dogcitment, when I had covid a few months ago, I, very bad husband, decided to get Skylar a puppy for Christmas.

Note: do not do this.

I was not in my right mind. One evening, when my temperature was 174, I was lying on the couch, drenched in sweat, when Sky reminded me that I needed to order my Christmas gifts early this year because the Pandemic has slowed supply chains. It was then that I thought:

"Should I just get Skylar a puppy?"

One minute later I googled puppies and then placed a NON-refundable deposit that cannot be refunded and is forever not refundable money, on some mini-bernadoodle puppy that happened to have just been born near our town.

Then I went to bed.

And at 2:00 in the morning, when it is illegal to be awake, I, law-abiding citizen. awoke, in an absolute panic, wondering if I had dreamed buying a dog when I absolutely did not want a dog.  

As it turned out, twas not a dream.

I bought this goddamn dog.

And that next morning I started to panic because, and I don't know how much you know about marriage, one should never adopt a dog without the consent of one's spouse.

And so, without even waiting for a big Christmas surprise, I, in a full panic, informed Skylar.

His eyes welled with tears (he denies this, but he's wrong). And then yesterday we picked him up.

His name: Mr. Louie Dewey Doodle.

Duncan is not quite sure what he thinks yet.

We'll get there.

Please enjoy some Strangerville:

This time in Strangerville, Eli gets a puppy, what is your earliest memory?, Meg clears the air re: Taylor Swift, and a PTA president has a mishap at an assembly.


Body Builder, by Rebecca Bateman (music by The Joy Drops)

Production by Eli McCann & Meg Walter

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~It Just Gets Stranger