I've suddenly become very busy at work. For the past week I've spent much of my time in a zombie-like state. Except for when someone approaches me and asks me to do something because then I turn into 1920s-just-entered-the-adult-world man and I'm like, "YES SIR! WHATEVER YOU SAY, SIR!!!" And then as soon as they walk away I take a quick shot of crystal meth to keep myself from falling onto the floor.

Note: "take a quick shot of crystal meth" is a euphemism for "shove candy and Diet Coke down my gullet," which is a euphemism for "destroy my body," which is a euphemism for "I can't believe I signed up for another Ironman," which is a euphemism for "I wonder if they let you use the Witness Protection Program for these types of situations," which is a euphemism for "does anyone know what a euphemism is anymore?"

Yesterday, in my my zombie-like state, I received the following Snapchat from my friend Hannah:

I'm sure it's because I haven't slept since before the war. But I laughed so hard at this that I actually had to shut my office door.

Tears. Tears, people.

Ok. Please tell me your worst pun joke in the comments. I'm apparently in the mood to laugh very hard at it.

~It Just Gets Stranger