Skylar is struggling with words lately, as was evidenced in a conversation I had with him a few days ago in which he actually said this:

"Do you have any . . . oh . . . what's that word? What's the word I'm trying to say? Help me here. I'm thinking of that thing that's wool but it's like a noodle and you have it but like noodles but it's like one LONG noodle."


He couldn't think of the word for yarn.

You know. That wool noodle.

I once walked into a room and he was talking to a customer service representative on the phone and I heard him say:

"My name is Skylar. That's S as in Cyberbully, K as in Cat, Y as in . . . the letter Y."

You guys.

I didn't hear the rest of it. I was laughing so hard I had to leave the room and perform meditation exercises for my health.

I have Alexa at my house and when Skylar speaks to it he stands up straight and takes on an incredibly formal tone like he's communicating with the leader of an alien planet, waaaaaay over-pronouncing words, to the point that the device hardly ever understands a thing he is saying. And usually the device doesn't turn on in the first place because 75% of the time he accidentally calls her "Duncan."

Every single time someone says "good luck" to him he responds "I will."

Every time.

He does not stop responding that way.

He will not stop responding this way. No matter how many times I ask him to be normal.

But whatever. That's fine. Words are not his strong suit. He just says the wrong things sometimes. He's not hurting anyone. Right?


He is now hurting someone. And that someone is me.

Today I was complaining to Skylar about how none of my pants fit me anymore, which is my favorite thing to complain about.

And as I was complaining and complaining and compLAINING about this, he finally cut in and said what he thought was going to be a really helpful thing to say:

"You seem to gain weight in your mid-section and most of my female friends do too and women live longer and they're better people so you having a curving womanly-shaped body is actually a good thing. I'M JEALOUS."

It was like he turned into every mom ever.

He's rivaling Gmac, who once told her doctor when he asked her if she was allergic to anything that she had a "cocaine" allergy, meaning to say "codeine."

She also once told the family that her newest granddaughter had a "deviated scrotum" when she started calling around to tell everyone about the birth.

So, I don't know. Skylar may or may not yet be as bad as my 86-year-old grandmother.

But I am saying that he's on his way.

Ok. Entertain me. Tell me about your word blunders.

~It Just Gets Stranger