LISTEN TO ME.
I know I am Karen with a capital K right now. I know I'm the worst version of a Jerry Seinfeld boomer (how is that man still relevant DON'T @ ME).
I know everything I'm about to say may as well be screamed into a megaphone in your local grocery store by an anti-vax anti-mask Freedumb loving selfish idiot. You can @ me about that one if you want. And I'll respond in a way that my mother will say "ELI!" which is how I know I've crossed a line.
I swear to Whoopi and Oprah and David Hasselhoff and Shakespeare that customer service has gotten worse and we are all, collectively, to blame for this.
When These Unprecedented Times began, and, relatedly this terrifying thing showed up on the Salt Lake Valley
I think we were all like, "let's give everything a break. Nothing matters. Everything is bad. Don't expect to be treated like a human!"
And gurlllll, the corporations heard us.
I know the tone of this post sounds like I'm joking. But I'm not joking. This is my legit theory. This is For Reallll.
The corporations saw us give everything a pass, and the rich people at the top of these corporations were like "thank you government money. And thank you All Of America for deciding we can do whatever we want without consequence." And they stopped providing service. And they stopped hiring employees. And they stopped giving raises. And for a while, we were all like, "no. It's ok that I'm being treated like human garbage while emptying my bank account for goods and services, because it's These Unprecedented Times."
But I'm telling you. These Unprecedented Times are no longer unprecedented. The companies are doing great. They are treating their employees terribly. And we need to stop letting them get away with it.
I had to call Delta Airlines multiple times last week because of a bizarre problem I was having in booking a work trip. The hold time online was FIFTY. TWO. HOURS.
I don't know how good you are with math but if you're bad at it, let me help you. Fifty-two hours is NINE days!
I had to open a bank account with Chase bank recently. I literally called every branch in my valley. Nearly a dozen phone numbers. In the middle of a work day. And no one answered the phone at ANY of them. When I finally got ahold of someone they acted annoyed and told me they couldn't open an account for me for A MONTH.
Look. It would be a different thing if all of these companies were on the verge of failure and just trying to hang on. But they're not. They are actually pretty fine. Look up their stocks. Check out the numbers on how the economy is doing. These companies have actually weathered things pretty well. They received support and help and they are doing, frankly, great.
The only reason I can think of why they are being terrible at this point is we are letting them get away with it.
And look. This is not the fault of the employees we are interacting with. They are overworked and underpaid. Don't yell at these people.
This is the fault of the greedy people at the top who saw the door open and they ran through it. These greedy people saw us give them a pass and they took advantage of this.
I hereby declare the times Precedented. The companies can pay a living wage and hire people to help us as they drain our bank accounts.
Oh my God.
I'm Jerry Seinfeld now.
Please just listen to some Strangerville before I get cancelled.
P.S., we have started releasing bonus episodes of Strangerville on Patreon, so come join us there if you are desperate to hear more from us.
This time in Strangerville, customer service is bad, unless you’re Meg. People seem to want to help Meg. And Eli shares a story about a babysitter from his childhood who had a very strange rule.
A Flushed Toilet, by Eli McCann (music by Lobo Loco)
Production by Eli McCann & Meg Walter
~It Just Gets Stranger