Just when you thought I couldn't possibly get any more ambitious (ha ha), I got up at 6:00AM today and did a killer abs workout with Jason for about an hour. I'm sort of dying right now but it's all for a good cause.
After the workout we came home and I had one of those life changing, I'll-never-forget-the-day, bench-mark moments: I signed a letter of intent and mailed it off, letting BYU Law know that I have decided to continue my schooling there in the fall. This was not an easy decision for me. I was actually accepted into the school last December but I've just sort of been dragging my feet in making a decision. Last week when I finally decided, it was sort of an empty feeling. I thought that when I finally made the decision I would be bouncing off the walls (more than usual) and singing at the top of my lungs (louder than usual) for weeks but I found that when I started telling people I had made a decision, I said it as though I was kind of disappointed in myself.
I think that part of it is simply because there has always been something inside me, driving me to choose the more extreme, challenging, stretching and daring options when it comes to things like this. I'm also drawn to trying new things and I'm the first to admit that I am quite stubborn and will make decisions based on defiance or going against what I think is probably expected of me. My freshmen year of college is certainly evidence of that. And I suppose that staying at BYU didn't feel extreme, challenging, stretching and daring enough to me when I finally made that decision, although I'm not exactly sure why I feel I need to make law school any more of those things than it already is.
But as I've thought about this decision, my attitude has changed significantly; I have made the right decision and have finally reached a level of maturity where I don't have to let my emotions govern my choices in order to feel like a real person or to prove something to the people around me. And as I signed that letter of intent this morning and put it in the mail box, there was a sense of direction and excitement that was quite a confirmation for me. It was a different feeling than I had expected but it was a better feeling. There is so much worth staying here for. So many great friends that I'll still get to see. So many partially built relationships that I'll get to continue building. So much more time with my family and the opportunity to watch my nieces and nephews grow up for the next few years. Plus, they put a Cheesecake Factory in Salt Lake so I should be fine.
Now all of you are just wondering how somebody who doesn't even know that canker sores are not spelled "soars" could get into law school in the first place (BTW, thanks Nancy for informing me of that. That would have been nice to know 5 days ago though!). Well the next three years are going to be exciting and challenging. I really want to be able to say for the rest of my life at any given moment that the best year of my life is the last one that I lived; I can say that right now and it feels great--I can't wait to say it again next year at this time.