I'm kind of cranky today. Correction: I'm REALLY cranky today. I didn't start that way when I woke up. It just sort of built up throughout the day. And it peaked about half an hour ago when I hit my knee on this same part of my desk that I bump into 75 times a week. I may have thrown a small temper tantrum when it happened. I may have physically abused an inanimate object. I may have hurt myself in the process.

I don't know what I was thinking. I was young! I needed the money!

Prior to that, I lost my favorite pen. I couldn't attach documents to an email I needed to send because the Internet is too incompetent in Palau. Then the Internet broke altogether while I was in the middle of something important. Oh, and it's really hot today. And everything is a bigger deal when it's hot.

Beyond all of that, I'm cranky about some things that I found out today that actually matter, too. I DON'T JUST GET UPSET OVER MEANINGLESS STUFF, GUYS. Bad things that matter sometimes come my way.

And I recognize that by leaving that prior paragraph at that and refusing right now to explain exactly what those things are is totally hypocritical since just last week I called you all out on vague facebook cry-for-help posts. SO SUE ME.

Actually, don't sue me. I really don't have time to defend a law-suit right now. Maybe we can settle outside of court? Fine. You drive a hard bargain. You can have half of everything I own if this can all just go away. Sorry if your half includes Lohan, my parasite.

I've been bringing my running clothes to work in the mornings so I can run the few miles home at the end of the day. This is my attempt to reverse the course of my Pillsbury Doughboy transformation that I've been attempting to undergo ever since I arrived in Palau.

On days when I'm especially cranky I'm tempted to do one of two things: eat excessive amounts of ice cream or run. So this whole bring running clothes to work and send my car away with Daniel plan is my way of trying to keep myself from continuing to choose the former option.

On days like today, when I'm extra cranky, I usually make it home particularly fast.

So what I need from you, PLEASE, is a funny joke that will make me, and anyone else out there who is a little cranky today, feel a little less cranky. Leave it in the comments. I'll love you forever if you actually make me laugh out loud.

~It Just Gets Stranger