I got an email this morning threatening informing me that the half Ironman is exactly one month away now. I immediately went and got into the pool and flopped around for a while, hoping that this might make me feel better about my life choices. Spoiler alert: it didn't.

It defies all of the laws of the universe that these events creep up so fast. Remember when you guys promised you would never let me get involved in these messes again? Remember when you pinky swore? And then you admired my hair and rock solid abs and I was like, "how dare you! Did you even look at my chest?!" And then I texted you 200 selfies of me making a duck face and squeezing my cleavage together? DON'T YOU REMEMBER?!

And now, your Pictures & Distractions:

A new lawn ornament from Cathie to help me to remember to bike because OHMYGOSH IRONMAN.

The entirety of my text exchanges with Jolyn on April Fools' Day.

Rebecca texted me at FIVE AM Thursday morning to ask me to do something at her house she forgot to do before she left town. The next several texts are her response when I finally agreed several hours later.

Sent in by Jacob.

*****Stranger Picture of the Week

An important reminder for everyone. Thanks, Laura.

Crap to distract you from whatever you're supposed to be doing:

Quokkas selfies. For anyone who needs to be cheered up. Thanks, Diana.

Homeless people read mean tweets about homelessness. Thanks, Morgan.

Dark Lord Funk. Thanks, Stephanie.

The QofC is trying to destroy Easter! Thanks, Nicole.

If people left parties like they left Facebook. Thanks, Melissa.

Turn your iPhone into a Gameboy. Thanks, Paul.

Speaking of iPhones, 21 things you didn't know it could do. Thanks, Brent.

Beards are dirtier than toilets. Thanks, Jackson.

Some funny Sound of Music gifs and videos. Thanks, Terry.

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If you would like to have something included on Pictures and Distractions, please email me at itjustgetsstranger@gmail.com.

~It Just Gets Stranger