Skylar Mums the Word Suddenly I was at the neighborhood garden store, pushing a cart the size of a 1978 Granada around tight corners and into other customers' shins as my nervous husband with
Skylar Shush I've married an absolute con-artist. There were signs, I guess. I can't fully claim I could have never known. While we were dating he repeatedly told me he would "pack
House Yard Hoarders We may have an actual problem at this point. It started out slowly. My mother handed me a plow my great grandpa used for the entire second half of the
House A Little Secret I'll let you in on a secret They don't tell you when you buy a home with a yard because They want you to fail. I don't know who They
House Painting When I moved into my house in Year Of Our Lord XIIBV, one of the first things I noticed was that all the walls were beige, which I didn't love.
Ridiculous The Great Flood Skylar left at illegal o'clock this morning for affairs so he wasn't around when I discovered The Great Flood in our front yard. He's in pediatrics now, which is apparently
The Perfects Dead Rat Our greatest neighborhood allies are the Perfects next door. When I bought this house in The Year of Our Lord Eleventy Hundred, I was too intimidated to talk to them
Ridiculous Gal Gadot When I bought my house in 2014 the inspector guy showed up and kicked the tires and then told me the place was unlikely to collapse but that my A/C unit was from The Year of Our Lord 1776. It was actually used
Social Distancing Ghost Town Hunting We were supposed to go on an adventure last weekend, but our plans were abruptly canceled when Skylar plugged in all eleventy hundred of his nuclear devices at once and
Ridiculous Learning to Fail You know what's not ok? THIS: I think he's just doing it to spite me now. I started screaming last week when I saw it because I have abusively lectured
House Our Mountain Vineyard My husband has decided to turn our backyard into a vineyard. I found out about this when I overheard him asking Matt if he could borrow several power tools, which
Ridiculous Does This Count As Pictures & Distractions Who's In Charge Here? I was going to do Pictures & Distractions but then I got distracted (ha!) and started word vomiting. I guess the below does include some pictures and links, so maybe
House Let It Snow We woke up to a snowstorm this morning, which is Skylar's actual vision of heaven. Mine: I'm greeted by a woman making flour tortillas. We become best friends. We travel
House Yard-Life Crisis Skylar and I had a midlife crisis about our yard and in the last two weeks we have used all of your college funds to toil and labor our Earth.
Grandma Farm House I know this is the last thing I need in my life right now, but you guys. On Sunday Bob and Cathie drove me and Skylar and my sister Krishelle
House The Hole in my Front Yard I told you a little while ago that my concrete steps leading up to the house look like Chernobyl. They have been crumbling apart for years. They are as old
Ridiculous Prison Steps The steps leading up to my house are what we in the business call "a mess." I'm not sure what business we have or why we have it, but the
House There Will Be Some Kids Halloween is a stressful day for me because I so want it to go well but it pretty much never goes well. I want to live in that neighborhood from
The Perfects You Have Rats "You have rats," The Perfects informed me, standing on my driveway as I fumbled with some grocery sacks from the back seat of my car. The only one who was
House Skylar Has Opinions Be sure to check out this beautiful story from Shireen if you haven't already! ***** Skylar has opinions about things and sometimes this is the worst. I don't mean that his
The Perfects Mr. Pham's Patio Project I told you a little while ago about how I hired Mr. Pham to do whatever the hell he wants with my yard. I had given Mr. Pham a vision
Ridiculous Mr. Pham Please enjoy this week's Strangerville Live, and today's story: My neighbor Lynne's landscaping could be in a magazine. Every flower and bush is perfectly manicured. I want to be buried
The Perfects Grass Seed and Drug Cartels My street is on a hill, which is a problem for three reasons: 1. Sliding past my driveway on icy days and having to circle the block multiple times to
The Perfects Many Hands Make Light Work Last week I wrote a post complaining about how cooking blogs make you scroll through 5,000 words of nonsense just to get to the one thing you were looking
Ridiculous TruGreen, The Mob I'm pretty sure I got a call from the mob today. Like, The Mob. A few years ago I called TruGreen, the lawn care company, and asked them if I could pay one million dollars every five weeks to have them come and sprinkle
