House The Magic of Doing Things When I bought my house in Year of Our Lord XXIBKBHEIV, some ten years ago, back before they invented cell phones and we were still wearing crop tops to our
House The Curb We think the junk in our garage breeds. There's no other explanation for how it gets filled up every six months. We have no memory of putting anything
Louie A New Gate I'm not sure if I've ever shared Duncan's birth story here. Maybe it's all felt too sacred to write out. Basically an
House Water Pressure When I moved into my house nearly ten years ago one of the first things I noticed was that the water pressure was essentially the strength of a Windex spray
House A New Couch I bought a couch about eight years ago on sort of a whim. I had just lost a case in court and was feeling numb, and so, still dressed in
Skylar Handyman "I can't find the charger for the drill," the ominous text said without any further explanation. I started typing back. The first word of my text
Skylar Mums the Word Suddenly I was at the neighborhood garden store, pushing a cart the size of a 1978 Granada around tight corners and into other customers' shins as my nervous husband
Skylar Shush I've married an absolute con-artist. There were signs, I guess. I can't fully claim I could have never known. While we were dating he repeatedly told
House Yard Hoarders We may have an actual problem at this point. It started out slowly. My mother handed me a plow my great grandpa used for the entire second half of the
House A Little Secret I'll let you in on a secret They don't tell you when you buy a home with a yard because They want you to fail. I
House Painting When I moved into my house in Year Of Our Lord XIIBV, one of the first things I noticed was that all the walls were beige, which I didn'
Ridiculous The Great Flood Skylar left at illegal o'clock this morning for affairs so he wasn't around when I discovered The Great Flood in our front yard. He's
The Perfects Dead Rat Our greatest neighborhood allies are the Perfects next door. When I bought this house in The Year of Our Lord Eleventy Hundred, I was too intimidated to talk to them
Ridiculous Gal Gadot When I bought my house in 2014 the inspector guy showed up and kicked the tires and then told me the place was unlikely to collapse but that my A/C unit was from The Year of Our Lord 1776. It was actually used
Social Distancing Ghost Town Hunting We were supposed to go on an adventure last weekend, but our plans were abruptly canceled when Skylar plugged in all eleventy hundred of his nuclear devices at once and
Ridiculous Learning to Fail You know what's not ok? THIS: I think he's just doing it to spite me now. I started screaming last week when I saw it because
House Our Mountain Vineyard My husband has decided to turn our backyard into a vineyard. I found out about this when I overheard him asking Matt if he could borrow several power tools, which
Ridiculous Does This Count As Pictures & Distractions Who's In Charge Here? I was going to do Pictures & Distractions but then I got distracted (ha!) and started word vomiting. I guess the below does include some pictures and links, so maybe
House Let It Snow We woke up to a snowstorm this morning, which is Skylar's actual vision of heaven. Mine: I'm greeted by a woman making flour tortillas. We become
House Yard-Life Crisis Skylar and I had a midlife crisis about our yard and in the last two weeks we have used all of your college funds to toil and labor our Earth.
Grandma Farm House I know this is the last thing I need in my life right now, but you guys. On Sunday Bob and Cathie drove me and Skylar and my sister Krishelle
House The Hole in my Front Yard I told you a little while ago that my concrete steps leading up to the house look like Chernobyl. They have been crumbling apart for years. They are as old
Ridiculous Prison Steps The steps leading up to my house are what we in the business call "a mess." I'm not sure what business we have or why we
House There Will Be Some Kids Halloween is a stressful day for me because I so want it to go well but it pretty much never goes well. I want to live in that neighborhood from
The Perfects You Have Rats "You have rats," The Perfects informed me, standing on my driveway as I fumbled with some grocery sacks from the back seat of my car. The only one
