1. "I wonder if there will be somewhere to sit down at that party."

2. "Do their parents know where these kids are/what they're doing/what they're wearing/what they're saying?"

3. "I am going to take the most amazing nap when the weekend starts five days from now."

4. "Let's leave this event 20 minutes early to beat traffic."

5. "Why can't all parties start at 7:00 and wrap up by 9:30?"

6. "You just can't beat that curbside appeal!"

7. "I might have actually enjoyed the concert if they had turned the music down to an appropriate level."

8. "No thank you. If I eat that, I'll regret it for days."

9. "Does your neighborhood have a good Neighborhood Watch program?"

10. "Such a loss." (Anytime I hear about an untimely death on the news).

11. Any sentence that has the words "tax dollars" in it.

12. Any sentence that has the words "fiscal responsibility" in it.

13. Any sentence that has the words "need to see a doctor" in it.

14. "I haven't seen him/her in years!"

15. "Look how big you've gotten! The last time I saw you, you were [comment on the child's height]."

16. "The produce at that grocery store is much fresher."

17. "If I sit in this position for much longer I may have to be life-flighted out of it."

18. "I better report that [some infrastructure breakdown] to the City."

19. "If you're not five minutes early, you're late."

20. "I'm going to need to work some late nights this week so I can go on vacation next week."

21. "I'll be out of the office but will have email access."

22. "Could you stop by the house while I'm away just to check on things?"

23. "Does eye cream actually work? Am I just wasting money here?"

24. "Damn I wish I had worn sunscreen ten years ago."

25. "I can't believe I slept in until almost 9:00 this weekend!"

26. Referring to someone as "irresponsible."

27. "I'm not mad; I'm just disappointed."

28. Referring to people under 25 as "kids."

29. "Let's wash that so we can use it as tupperware."

30. "I'm just going to go ahead and take some Advil before we get started."

Please add freely to this list, my fogies.

~It Just Gets Stranger